Topic: Lainy

This is Terry of misswayne,  Friday was two years since Wayne went to be with the Lord.  I took off work Friday, went got my prescriptions.  I knew I had a bad, bad last weekend, then they stuck Valentine's Day in the middle, you can stay away from that mostly except at work at a elementary school.  Friday I was on my own.  I had to go downtown Baton Rouge, I stopped my daughters work for a few minutes.  Then I decided, with much encouragement from my therapist to get a hobby.  So, I stopped at Hobby Lobby, just looking, I haven't sewn much in the last few years, I couldn't believe how much everything has gone up(material).  My chaplain from my hospice called to see if I was alright, it made me feel good.  I told her I was looking for hobby like sewing something, last summer I made teddy bears, until I broke my thumb). She told me that she can find things for me, through her church or through hospice.  It made me feel good that somebody needed my very few talents.  After that I went got lunch, went to the cemetary with my baby.  Yes, I still cry but I don't feel like my world is doomed, not this week anyway.  Next week I might feel different.  I go to group tomorrow that's usually always a plus.  I nearly caught my house on fire yesterday.  I had used the curling iron Monday, yesterday I was separating clothes for washing.  When I took the sheets out of the basket, I saw a huge brown spot, I had no idea of what it was I tried scrubbing that only caused a hole.  No still no clicked in the head, last night I know that I had gone there 50 times since Monday noon, I was sitting in my bedroom I looked over and saw the curling iron on the floor on.  It had already turned brown a spot in the carpet 1 X 4.  It was only through God's will, and I surely believe Wayne had something to do with it, or today I probably would be history.  So, I believe as hard as it is Wayne wants me to live.

Love to my Wayne for 36 years
I'm not a widow, I am a wife
We are only apart for heaven's sake
You are waiting for me at heaven's gate

Re: Lainy

Terry, I actually have happy tears for you! I know it was a bad week for you and I know it got very scary, but look how everything turned around! You sound so much better. You made Teddy Bears last summer and I used to call Teddy my Teddy Bear. You know I am a firm believer that Wayne is watching over you and so yes, I believe he saved you from a horiffic accident. Last week I fell flat on my back on the driveway but my head never hit the cement. Thanks to my Teddy Bear.
I have a suggestion on the sewing. I think you once said you still have Wayne's clothes, my suggestion would save his clothes but in a different way. Use shirts, pants etc and make a patchwork quilt or throw. You would always have that quilt around you all the time. I love it when you don't feel doomed and so does Wayne. Last but not least I wish you could feel Wayne as I feel Teddy. They come a lot through electricity like lights going out. When I have the TV on both of them go loud and soft, loud and soft. Teddy comes to me through Music as well on the oldies station. We had about 4 songs we loved and the songs come on at the strangest times. There are so many things you can look for. Even pennies and dimes on the floor. Please let me know how you are doing, I care.

Teddy ~In our hearts forever~ATTITUDE is EVERYTHING
Any suggestion I offer is intended as friendly advice based solely on my own experience. Please consult your doctor for professional guidance.

Re: Lainy

Terry,

You sound like you are doing so much better and that makes me so happy. I am sure Wayne watches out for you from heaven and is also very happy that you seem to be doing better. All the best to you and God bless.

Love, -Pam

My beautiful daughter, Lauren Patrice, will live on in my heart forever.

My comments, suggestions, and opinions are based on my experience as a caretaker for my daughter, Lauren and from reading anything I can get my hands on about Cholangiocarcinoma. Please consult a physician for professional guidance.

Re: Lainy

I made a big step today, I mailed my new beneificaries to my two life insurance policies, and for my retirement.  I know about time.

Love to my Wayne for 36 years
I'm not a widow, I am a wife
We are only apart for heaven's sake
You are waiting for me at heaven's gate

Re: Lainy

Yippee!!! You are really making some great strides. Wishing for them to continue!!!

Teddy ~In our hearts forever~ATTITUDE is EVERYTHING
Any suggestion I offer is intended as friendly advice based solely on my own experience. Please consult your doctor for professional guidance.

Re: Lainy

Hi Terry,

Glad to hear that things are going better and you are managing to accomplish some things.  Keep it up, one little step at a time.  I agree that Wayne is right there by your side helping you through all of this.  smile

Love & Hugs,
Darla

"One Day At A Time"

All of my comments and suggestions are just my opinions and are not a substitute for professional medical advice.   You should always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care providers.

Re: Lainy

Yes, I had a great group time last night, went home and cried.  Today I get to work, my boss comes wants to take all the old computers out of my room. I made the foolish mistake of helping her, after I moved about five my back was hurting, I've had a bad back ever since I can remember, started probably went fell out of a tree at six.  I was moving the hard drives, then she comes in later and tells me to get all of the old monitors out and clean them, I told her my back was hurting, it was like sooooooooooo.  Then I have a chair in my room my son bought me a few years ago, I have a brace on it, and feels great on my back, she told me to take that one home, she has another chair for me, it is as old as she is, the seat wobbles, there is no support at all for your back.  So, I e -mailed my doctor to see if she will give a excuse telling her that I have to have a chair with lumbar support.  I have to go to the oncologist next Tuesday, he is on the 4th floor, and my other doctor is on the bottom floor, same building.  It's like you try to take a step forward and people are waiting in the cornor to knock you down.  These people have not lost anyone, not parents, spouse, or children.  Walk through our shoes, they couldn't do it.  See, now I'm aggievated and now my chest hurts, I need to go home and calm down. How old do I have to be to retire.  It's bad that people like that makes you want to be older.

Love to my Wayne for 36 years
I'm not a widow, I am a wife
We are only apart for heaven's sake
You are waiting for me at heaven's gate

Re: Lainy

Dear Terry, I don't know how old you are but I think you can take early retirement at 62 then Medicare starts at 65. That sounds like some grouch you work for. I always say, I'll be d-m if I will let anyone take me down like that, especially if I am doing so much better. Good God girl, if you fell out of a tree you can survive anything! Some crying is good. I still cry remembering good things with Teddy but I call them my Happy Tears. You are so right about most people not being able  to come through what all of us on this Board have! Sometimes I don't think you see how strong you really are! Have a good weekend.

Teddy ~In our hearts forever~ATTITUDE is EVERYTHING
Any suggestion I offer is intended as friendly advice based solely on my own experience. Please consult your doctor for professional guidance.