Re: I'm lost...
Pamela, yes exactly. It's hard to know what to ask people as the mental focus isn't really there these days so it's so much nicer when people just do things instead of making vague promises or saying 'call me'!! We're getting by, bit by bit. It feels like we're stuck in limbo a little bit but some days are okay.
Darla, thanks. Yes, it means so much to be around people who really understand and truly 'get' this limbo that we're in. Some people mean well by trying to gently push us to move onwards or to get out more etc. but really, we need to do things when we're ready, not when they decide we should be ready!
Gerry, thank you very much. I agree that professional counselling is most likely necessary. Today my sons and I met with the counsellor in Marymount Hospice where Diarmuid passed away. She was terrific - she listened and was wonderfully supportive and validated our feelings of anger and frustration. I'm not sure how often we can attend the hospice for counselling but I'll take whatever's available as I do gel well with her and she was there with us when Diarmuid was nearing the end and when he passed away. Down the line, I'll look into more structured counselling too.
Pam thank you. I loved hearing about the nurse and the cheesecake. Those are the little acts of kindness that make all the difference.
My kids had a good day today. They're off school now for the Easter break and life is so much easier without the school schedule. We're still taking things day to day in general but making the most of the good days.