Dear CM, I know, I know. Sometimes it's just easier to let go and let the tears flow. I must admit I always feel better after a good eye cleansing. I still adamately believe that Teddy is so around me and that is what gets me through. I promise you down the road it does get a little easier. Tomorrow Teddy's sister is coming to visit from DFW and I have not seen her for a year. I know this is going to be a hard one for 10 days but we do both feel he is here. You and your daughter will draw your strength from each other and I believe that your husband is smiling down a big proud grin to you both! If you don't mind I wrote this on Teddy's One Year date:
How Are You Doing?
Everyone asks me how I’m doing since you went away,
With a smile on my face I answer, “I really am okay”.
Matter of fact its very hard but I promised to be strong,
Until the time we meet again, in your arms where I belong.
In the morning when I wake, once where there was warmth all night,
There’s nothing but an empty space and a pillow to hold tight.
Our closet now holds all my clothes it still looks kind of strange,
I try to make it look like more and constantly rearrange.
When I’m in the kitchen and working at the sink,
Many times I stop and this is what I think…..
If Teddy was here he’d grab me to give a little cue,
That he was about to hug me and say his, “I love you”.
No more are the corny jokes that grew longer by the year,
What I wouldn’t give now for just once more, any one to hear.
When someone calls, your message is still kept on the phone,
That way no one knows I am really home alone.
When day is over and dinner is eaten by one,
No more thank you-s for the meal well done.
Can’t find anyone to cream or scratch my back
There’s just a big hole here, a hole of midnight black.
But, how am I doing? I’m doing okay,
I know that you would want it that way.
And I know you are with me morning to night,
Still watching over me, that everythings all right!
Teddy ~In our hearts forever~ATTITUDE is EVERYTHING
Any suggestion I offer is intended as friendly advice based solely on my own experience. Please consult your doctor for professional guidance.