Topic: Devastated Gerry passed away on 24th July

Hi Everyone,
My young sons and I are so sad as my dear hubby passed away, he  did not make 3 years.  The whole of this year he has been in Hospital with a couple of days at home during Easter.  I did send messages to both Lainy and Percy via e-mail but  for some reason Lainy's mail was sent back.  His last moments or dare I say few weeks were complete torture for all of us.  He was just a skeleton when he passed.  He wanted to come home and die but sadly could not make it.  He got VRE and that weakended him.  He could not eat or drink for almost 10 days.  I remained in the Hospital with him for the past 2 months.  He was so young and had so much to live for.  Till the very end he kept fighting but sadly lost the battle.  His funeral was on the 30th of July.  I am still in complete shock and have not gone back to work.  This was the only place where everyone heard me out and gave me a bit of comfort and peace.  I had some big disagreements with both Doctors and Nursing staff.  I am still so exhausted.  Thanks to everyone for your help and assistance.  To everyone fighting this huge Monster you are in my thoughts and prayers.  Godbless  Phil

Re: Devastated Gerry passed away on 24th July

Dear Phil,

I am very sorry to hear of Gerry's passing. I know he fought so hard and so did you. Please take time to get your strength back. I wish I could say something to make you feel better, but I know only time can do that. God bless you and your sons.

Love, -Pam

My beautiful daughter, Lauren Patrice, will live on in my heart forever.

My comments, suggestions, and opinions are based on my experience as a caretaker for my daughter, Lauren and from reading anything I can get my hands on about Cholangiocarcinoma. Please consult a physician for professional guidance.

Re: Devastated Gerry passed away on 24th July

Dear Phil,

I am so sorry to hear of Gerry's passing.  It sounds  like his last days were very similar to my husband Jim's, so I do know hard this all was on you and your children.  I know there are no words that can help you right now, but please try to take comfort in the fact that Gerry is no longer suffering or in pain and is finally at peace.  For those of us left behind it is not so easy.   Try to remember him before CC entered your lives keep him near you in your heart and those wonderful memories.  Please keep in touch and let us know how you are doing.  The support of this group is the best and you will need it now more than ever.  Take care and know I am thinking of you and your family in your time of grieving.

Love & Hugs,
Darla

"One Day At A Time"

All of my comments and suggestions are just my opinions and are not a substitute for professional medical advice.   You should always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care providers.

Re: Devastated Gerry passed away on 24th July

Phil,

So so sorry to hear about Gerry's passing.  I wish I had the words to heal the hurt you must be feeling...all i can say is that I hope the good memories you have will ease your sorrow.

Hugs,
-Randi-

Survivor of cholangiocarcinoma (2009), thyroid cancer (1999), and breast cancer (1994).

My comments, suggestions, and opinions are based only on my personal experience as a cancer survivor. Please consult a physician for professional guidance.

Re: Devastated Gerry passed away on 24th July

Dearest Phil and Sons. I am so sorry I never got the E Mail. lainy65@yahoo.com.
I know that Gerry suffered like Teddy did at the end and all I can say is that eventually, in time, the good Memories DO overtake the bad ones. You will adjust to your 'new normal' and you will be strong for the boys, I feel that for you because that is what Gerry would want. You did everything you could possibly do and you not only fought the CC but had to constantly fight the Hospital and Doctors, so of course you would be mentally and physically exhausted. When I would read your notes they made me so thankful that I live in the USA and get medical care here. Phil, you can e mail me anytime, I am here. Please accept my prayers and loving thoughts. Gerry is not alone as I just know Teddy had to greet him!

  From a book of blessings called "Benedictus" by John O'Donohue - Irish Poet & Philosopher
When you lose someone you love,
Your life becomes strange,
The ground beneath you becomes fragile,
Your thoughts make your eyes unsure;
And some dead echo drags your voice down
Where words have no confidence
Your heart has grown heavy with loss.
And though this loss has wounded others too,
No one knows what has been taken from you
When the silence of absence deepens.
There are days when you wake up happy;
Again inside the fullness of life,
Until the moment breaks
And you are thrown back
Onto the black tide of loss.
Days when you have your heart back,
You are able to function well
Until in the middle of work or encounter,
Suddenly with no warning,
You are ambushed by grief.
More than you, it knows its way
And will find the right time
To pull and pull the rope of grief
Until that coiled hill of tears
Has reduced to its last drop.
Gradually, you will learn acquaintance
With the invisible form of your departed;
And when the work of grief is done,
The wound of loss will heal
And you will have learned
And be able to enter the hearth
In your soul where your loved one
Has awaited your return
All the time.

Teddy ~In our hearts forever~ATTITUDE is EVERYTHING
Any suggestion I offer is intended as friendly advice based solely on my own experience. Please consult your doctor for professional guidance.

Re: Devastated Gerry passed away on 24th July

Dear Phil,

I am so very sorry indeed to hear of the passing of your Gerry. Please accept my sincere condolences. And please know that my thoughts are with you and your family right now.

Hugs,

Gavin

Any advice or comments I give are based on personal experiences and knowledge and are my opinions only, they are not to be substituted for professional medical advice. Please seek professional advice from a qualified doctor or medical professional.

Re: Devastated Gerry passed away on 24th July

Dear Phil, my thoughts and prayers are with you and your boys during this sad time.  Gerry fought a brave fight and now he is at peace.  I hope you can find comfort in that soon.  Please rest and get your health back. Pam.

Re: Devastated Gerry passed away on 24th July

I'm so sorry to hear this. You are in our thoughts and prayers.  My email is ttjonestopcat@aol.com if you want to write to me. I know what you're going through.  There's others too that will help. God bless you and your sons!

Re: Devastated Gerry passed away on 24th July

Dearest Phil,  My sincere condolences on the passing of your dear husband. I am sorry he suffered in his final days (and you as well). This disease can be cruel. I hope you can take comfort in the fact he is no longer suffering.
You will know when you are ready to go back to work. I too have a wonderful work place and when I did return it was good for me (even though I can't barely remember the first few months I was back).  For me work is my only normal, for it is the place where I did not normally see my husband.
You have your beautiful young sons to look after and they will help with your healing and you with theirs, but don't forget about yourself and take time for your own healing and exhaustion. It is a tough journey, one we did not want to take but one that is necessary to carry on.  Sending love and hugs to you and the boys.
Nancy

Loving my husband from afar.

Re: Devastated Gerry passed away on 24th July

Dear Phil,
I am so sorry for your loss. I pray that God comforts you and gives you strength.
Lisa

This Information Is Not Intended Nor Implied To Be A Substitute For Professional Medical Advice. You Should Always Seek The Advice Of Your Physician Or Other Qualified Health Care Provider

Re: Devastated Gerry passed away on 24th July

Dear Phil,

I am so sorry to hear of the passing of your dear husband Gerry.  I lost my wonderful husband John on July 8th to this terrible disease.  He, also, was like a skeleton when he died.  He had lost over 55 pounds in about a month and a half.   John had fought a four year battle and had a chemoembolization done on April 17th that he never recovered from.  Everything just seemed to spiral out of control but I was able to keep him at home with the help of my dear sister from North Carolina who came to offer her support.  I still feel like I'm numb but I have to stay strong for the kids.  Your boys will keep you so busy that you will not have a lot of spare time to think about things.  I will pray for you and your family as I well know what you are going through right now.  Be strong for Gerry and remember that he is now at peace and will not have to suffer anymore.  Lots of hugs,  PeggyP

Re: Devastated Gerry passed away on 24th July

Dearest Phil,

I'm so sorry to hear about the passing of your dear Gerry.  My heart goes out to you and your family.  Please take care of yourself in the coming days.  Grieving is the hardest job we ever do.  There is no timeframe, no right or wrong way and no two people will grieve in the same way. 

Gerry was so fortunate to have you as his personal warrior.  You helped fight the battles and your love showed in every post.

Please accept my deepest sympathies and know we are all here for you as you begin the next part of this journey.  I know Gerry was warmly welcomed by all of our loved ones that went before him.

Take care....I'm sending hugs and prayers....

Pam

My Mom lost her one year battle with CC on April 3, 2009.

"A prognosis is simply an audit of how truly precious each day is.  Live each day to the maximum, celebrate what was, and what is - Don't spend your life looking forward to what will or might be." .... words of wisdom from my beloved son on hearing of his grandmother's CC prognosis.