Topic: Update on my Dad

After a courageous 7 year battle with this cancer our handsome loving father, husband and grandfather Mr Punna Singh Hayre passed away peacefully in hospice on September 19th 2012. In the last few months after having had an external stent placed and paracentsesis procedure done, my father had been in and out of the hospital numerous times. He would be in hospital for a week or two then come home, develop an infection and would be right back in the hospital. He did not have any time to recover between infections. He was fed up of going to the hospital repeatedly and wanted to be at home, at one point he leftthe hospital and started walking home. He said his appetite had completely diminished and he had no interest in eating food. He started using morphine for pain control in the last few weeks, something he had never used before, this medication had some very undesirable side effects. In the end he stopped eating and stopped drinking and slowly faded away over the course of about 13 days. We find comfort in that we stood beside him every step of the way and helped him in anyway possible. In the end he said he had made his peace with God and was ready to go and he did go. We did his cremation on Sept 23rd 2012. We are very proud of him, he never gave up until it became too much, he fought till the end. I miss him very much he was my best friend, i hope to see him again one day. Love you Dad always and forever.

Re: Update on my Dad

Narinder, so sorry for your loss. May God be with you and your family and give you strength during this difficult time.

Re: Update on my Dad

Dear Narinder and your family, I am so very sorry for your loss but happy that your Father has found his Peace....and he did it with pride and dignity...his way. I am quite sure he was so very proud of you and how you walked by his side for this journey that no one asks for. I know you will see him again and I also know you will always feel him all around you.

From a book of blessings called "Benedictus" by John O'Donohue - Irish Poet & Philosopher

When you lose someone you love,
Your life becomes strange,
The ground beneath you becomes fragile,
Your thoughts make your eyes unsure;
And some dead echo drags your voice down
Where words have no confidence
Your heart has grown heavy with loss.
And though this loss has wounded others too,
No one knows what has been taken from you
When the silence of absence deepens.
There are days when you wake up happy;
Again inside the fullness of life,
Until the moment breaks
And you are thrown back
Onto the black tide of loss.
Days when you have your heart back,
You are able to function well
Until in the middle of work or encounter,
Suddenly with no warning,
You are ambushed by grief.
More than you, it knows its way
And will find the right time
To pull and pull the rope of grief
Until that coiled hill of tears
Has reduced to its last drop.
Gradually, you will learn acquaintance
With the invisible form of your departed;
And when the work of grief is done,
The wound of loss will heal
And you will have learned
And be able to enter the hearth
In your soul where your loved one
Has awaited your return
All the time.


Re: Update on my Dad


So sorry to hear about your dad.  From your description he was a pretty special guy and will be missed by many, especially you.  I hope that your happy memories of good times will soon replace the sadness you are feeling now.


Survivor of cholangiocarcinoma (2009), thyroid cancer (1999), and breast cancer (1994).

My comments, suggestions, and opinions are based only on my personal experience as a cancer survivor. Please consult a physician for professional guidance.

Re: Update on my Dad

Dear Narinder,

I am sorry to hear of the passing of your father. Please accept my sincere condolences. I know the pain that you feel as I too lost my dad to this cancer. Please know that we are all here for you and my thoughts are with you and your family right now.



Any advice or comments I give are based on personal experiences and knowledge and are my opinions only, they are not to be substituted for professional medical advice. Please seek professional advice from a qualified doctor or medical professional.

Re: Update on my Dad

Thankyou all for your condolences, its comforting to know that others understand what losing a loved one feels like and the words to use to help.

Re: Update on my Dad

I am sorry to hear your Dad and good friend has passed on.  My condolences to you and your family at this difficult time.