Topic: Strangest Thing Just Happened

I have been thinking about those of you, who along with me, have been living our "New Normal" for a couple of months/years or so now and wondering how you are all doing. The following names came to my mind: Darla, Liliana, Margaret, Janet, Nancy, Teresa, Mary.......I know there are more so I started looking in our user list. Lo and behold there were a couple of posts from my daughter 3 days after Teddy Passed. I NEVER knew! She also posted some pictures and so I of course had a little melt down here. If curious her posted name is    blewsbabie. The pics were taken at Thanksgiving 10 days before Teddy left us. WOW! what strange roads lead us to places unknown! I had also written  a poem which I think pertains to all of us in this unasked for club. Hope you are doing OK, you were on my mind.

How Are You Doing?

Everyone asks me how I’m doing since you went away,
With a smile on my face I answer, “I really am okay”.
Matter of fact its very hard but I promised to be strong,
Until the time we meet again, in your arms where I belong.

In the morning when I wake, once where there was warmth all night,
There’s nothing but an empty space and a pillow to hold tight.   
Our closet now holds all my clothes it still looks kind of strange,
I try to make it look like more and constantly rearrange.

When I’m in the kitchen and working at the sink,
Many times I stop and this is what I think…..
If Teddy was here he’d grab me to give a little cue,
That he was about to hug me and say his, “I love you”.

No more are the corny jokes that grew longer by the year,
What I wouldn’t give now for just once more, any one to hear.
When someone calls, your message is still kept on the phone,
That way no one knows I am really home alone. 

When day is over and dinner is eaten by one, 
No more thank you-s for the meal well done.
Can’t find anyone to cream or scratch my back
There’s just a big hole here, a hole of midnight black.

But, how am I doing? I’m doing okay,
I know that you would want it that way.
And I know you are with me morning to night,
Still watching over me, that every things all right!


Re: Strangest Thing Just Happened

What a powerful poem, so beautiful and sad.Hugs, Lisa

This Information Is Not Intended Nor Implied To Be A Substitute For Professional Medical Advice. You Should Always Seek The Advice Of Your Physician Or Other Qualified Health Care Provider

Re: Strangest Thing Just Happened

Lainy,I remember when Robyn posted those pictures.It was a thoughtful gesture because at the time us old friends were a bit shocked and it was lovely to see those pics,we all thought Teddy was such a sweetheart and we loved you of course so it was apreciated.
         Hopefully nobody minds me speaking for them!
                        Janet xx

  ps we are still with you journeying on with our "normal" changing all the time

Re: Strangest Thing Just Happened

Your poem says it all so well!  It's comforting (but sad) to know others are feeling the same emotions I live with in this new normal. many times I've longed for Gary's warm body next to me at night or a soothing back scratch!  And the closet all to ourselves....a luxury we never wanted.  Although I usually don't write on the board I still follow it daily and commend you for always having the perfect words to share. Take care!

Live each day to the fullest

Re: Strangest Thing Just Happened

Wow, I love those pictures Lainy...just beautiful.  thanx for sharing.

Survivor of cholangiocarcinoma (2009), thyroid cancer (1999), and breast cancer (1994).

My comments, suggestions, and opinions are based only on my personal experience as a cancer survivor. Please consult a physician for professional guidance.

Re: Strangest Thing Just Happened

Thank you so very much ladies. It was so strange the way this all came about. Could be I am getting close to his Birthday the 27th, can't believe he would have been 80. BUT he was more like 65! It just goes to show you that I get moments even though my motto is to BE STRONG!
Thanks Janet for such kind words and great memory. ElaineW so good to see you and to know you still check in on us. Randi as always you are here and Lisa one of our heros! You are all the very best.


Re: Strangest Thing Just Happened

Oh Lainy,

I too have started out doing one thing and found another.  I guess we are somehow being led that way.  I also remember Robin posting those pictures and I totally agree with Janet.   Janet, you can speak for me anytime as I know we think alike smile

Also thank you for the beautiful poem.  It is so true for so many of us.   As Elaine said, it is comforting but sad that so many of us are feeling this way.

Thinking of you out there is sunny Arizona.  smile  Take care.

Love & Hugs,

"One Day At A Time"

All of my comments and suggestions are just my opinions and are not a substitute for professional medical advice.   You should always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care providers.

Re: Strangest Thing Just Happened

Lainy, I love that poem of yours; it rings so true. I looked at the pictures, they were beautiful. So hard to believe it was just days before Teddy's passing. Our boys were so brave.
How am I doing? Like you say "okay". I am actually at a down point right now. Just trying to figure out my path in life now that it has changed direction. My kids and friends are my godsent, keeping me busy and laughing. Starting to look a little farther in the future and wondering where it may lead and what I should do about it! The hole in my heart is still aching but I am grateful for what I had, which many never experience.
Catching me on a bad day; tomorrow will be brighter. Thanks for thinking of us "New Normals". We certainly can't be called "Near Normals" - lol! With much affinity. Nancy

Loving my husband from afar.

Re: Strangest Thing Just Happened

Nancy, you may be having a little down time but you have not lost your sense of humor. Like me, you are able to be a little comedian between the tears. Perhaps you are concentrating on that path in life more than need be, is there something you truly want to do that you have never done before? We will always have that hole in our hearts and like Marion says its the price we pay for loving so hard. When I feel down I say to myself, "shame on you! you had for 16 years what most people never know in a lifetime!". So true, and it snaps me back to my new normal.
If you cannot come here on a bad day, then what good are we here for? It's great to hear from you no matter what kind of day it is. And, how cold would we be if we didn't have those kind of days now and then. I hope tomorrow is a lot better.


Re: Strangest Thing Just Happened

What a beautiful poem and lovely pictures, Lainy. God bless all you wonderful women.

Love, -Pam

My beautiful daughter, Lauren Patrice, will live on in my heart forever.

My comments, suggestions, and opinions are based on my experience as a caretaker for my daughter, Lauren and from reading anything I can get my hands on about Cholangiocarcinoma. Please consult a physician for professional guidance.