Topic: 1 year later

I haven't been around here lately.  I just wish I had more to contribute.  I know when my mother was going through this all I wanted for her was success stories...and they are out there.

Well, today, in fact, 20 minutes ago my mom passed.  It has been a tough year.  My mind was taken off my mothers death, by my daughters depression.  Good news though, my daughter is finally back home and doing great.

Can't believe it has been a year.  In the beginning I had many messages from mom, especially when I have needed them.  Not so much anymore.  However, just a few weeks ago, I had a dream and she was telling me about the new bedroom furniture she just got and that Canada was just beautiful.  I do keep a list of these dreams on my phone that way when I need, what I call a mommy message, I am able to go back and reread the dreams.

Isn't it amazing, no matter how old we are, we will always still need our momma.  That was the hardest part for my mother to leave.  When all her friends asked her how was she going to leave her grand mom always said, she will be fine, she has a mother who will be there to take care of her.  However, I am having a hard time leaving Michelle, alone without a mother.

Hugs to all of you that are going through this process also and thank you for allowing me to vent.

Re: 1 year later

Dear mn,  Thinking of you as you pass the year milestone. I passed the year of losing my husband in September. I am finally starting to dream of him well instead of sick. It is much more comforting.
Just wanted to say I lost my dear mom over 13 years ago but she hasn't left me. In fact there are days I look in the mirror and see her vividly - lol!
As we approach Remembrance Day we reflect on memory and it has been said to live on in those that we leave behind is not to die. I am sure our mothers live on in us. Wishing you comfort as you move forward through the next year. Nancy

Loving my husband from afar.

Re: 1 year later

Dear MN, so good to see your smiling face again and even though it's an anniversary of a Passing it is to be honored/celebrated. I have a log in my computer of all Teddy's many visits, about 55 of them, and it will be 2 years Dec. 6th. When I feel lonely I just read the log and know he is all around me. BTW, you are family and you can come here anytime for anything! I am also happy for you that your daughter is home again. It is good to see you!


Re: 1 year later

Hi Michelle,

I remember your Mom's passing last year and how sad you were over the holidays. My heart broke for you. You were always so sweet and caring with your responses to me about my daughter and I will never forget that. Don't ever say you have nothing to contribute. You made me feel better and I know you could make others feel better by just offering a compassionate shoulder to cry on. I an sorry to hear about your daughter. Depression is so awful and difficult. I am happy she is feeling better. I think of you often and have wondered how you were doing. I hope each day becomes easier for you and it is so great to hear from you.

Love, -Pam

My beautiful daughter, Lauren Patrice, will live on in my heart forever.

My comments, suggestions, and opinions are based on my experience as a caretaker for my daughter, Lauren and from reading anything I can get my hands on about Cholangiocarcinoma. Please consult a physician for professional guidance.

Re: 1 year later

Dear MN;
Please continue to write on this site as I feel your honest and thoughful comments are helpful to others.  I wish you and others lived closer to me so I can personally give out hugs.  For now, I send them on line.  It's 9 months since my Mom passed.   I go on, but I am afraid I will never be the same.  I wish I could have a dream about her and be able to log her visits.  My Mom was very active and this illness came on so fast.  Luckily, I had wonderful times with her before her illness for which I am grateful.  We must continue to support each other.  The women who had their husbands taken; the Mom who continues to care for her daughter, etc, etc. 
I am happy your daughter is doing better and that you sent your message.
Take care.