Topic: How not to say the wrong thing.

Hi CC family,

Someone I know posted this article to FB and I found it really rang true to me.  So many people want to say the right thing (and often do not) so i think this article is really helpful.

http://www.latimes.com/news/opinion/com … 4046.story

Thoughts?
-Randi-

Survivor of cholangiocarcinoma (2009), thyroid cancer (1999), and breast cancer (1994).

My comments, suggestions, and opinions are based only on my personal experience as a cancer survivor. Please consult a physician for professional guidance.

Re: How not to say the wrong thing.

I love this article! I never thought to post it here! Thanks Randi.

KrisJ
"Don't just have minutes in the day; have moments in time."
Any opinions I give are based on personal experiences, and are not based on medical knowledge. I strongly suggest receiving medical care and opinions.

Re: How not to say the wrong thing.

Nice, Randi. Wish I had had that ring for January - March!

Teddy ~In our hearts forever~ATTITUDE is EVERYTHING
Any suggestion I offer is intended as friendly advice based solely on my own experience. Please consult your doctor for professional guidance.

Re: How not to say the wrong thing.

Thanks randi.  I can so relate to this right now.  Sums up a few recent incidents from the last 3 weeks - some good, some not so good.

Clare

In the stars now . . . .

Re: How not to say the wrong thing.

The best one for me was "I'll trade places with you in a minute! At least yours is manageable." Said by a woman who's job stinks and her 16 year old daughter hates her.... REALLY???l

KrisJ
"Don't just have minutes in the day; have moments in time."
Any opinions I give are based on personal experiences, and are not based on medical knowledge. I strongly suggest receiving medical care and opinions.

Re: How not to say the wrong thing.

Thanks for posting this! I like it! Recently a friend of my age who has had a stroke which has left her completely brain-fine and face-fine but with a limp left arm and she can only walk with a cane because the left leg has a few issues too -- told me "I don't want to live like this, I'd rather die" .. what am I to say, I who would trade places in a heartbeat (but would never say that to her). I comforted her as much as I could because that is obviously her reality, her pain, I was just a little flabbergasted that she would say it to me across the coffee table, I who have this deadly cc and want so badly to LIVE, that's all! I'm sure we all have incidents like this every day. The well-meaning who say that anyone can get hit by a truck any day so why lose sleep over cancer... I like the "rings" idea in this article. Very thought-provoking.

Re: How not to say the wrong thing.

Randi, I love this article. Thanks for sharing. I have had chronic hives for too long now and they are disfiguring and miserable...I was telling a friend about how miserable I am and she said...well, it's not likes it your cancer or something that's going to kill you...
Or after my last scan that had good results, someone said well you are cancer free and now you don't have to worry anymore...
I actually have a friend that gets jealous of the attention I get because I have cancer....but...I still love her
Lisa

This Information Is Not Intended Nor Implied To Be A Substitute For Professional Medical Advice. You Should Always Seek The Advice Of Your Physician Or Other Qualified Health Care Provider

Re: How not to say the wrong thing.

I too like this article very much and am wondering:  what are some of the kindest gestures or words you can think of?  What has touched your heart in just the right way?  Too often people simply don't know what to say, hence this may just be the right time and place to help those needing  help in addressing cancer patients.
Hugs,
Marion

THIS INFORMATION IS NOT INTENDED NOR IMPLIED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR PROFESSIONAL MEDICAL ADVICE. YOU SHOULD ALWAYS SEEK THE ADVICE OF YOUR PHYSICIAN OR OTHER QUALIFIED HEALTH CARE PROVIDER

Re: How not to say the wrong thing.

I have an "older" friend who called every few weeks last year to see if I needed the lawn mowed. We almost never talked about my issues, just him asking if I needed anything else done. He could see for himself how I looked and took his cues from that. But with my blood levels being low, he didn't want me mowing the lawn so he would drive over.
And he never wanted anything in return. Not even water. He brought his own bottle. A really nice guy. I also had friends set up a dinner schedule to make sure my parents and I didn't have to worry about cooking after my first surgery. All without asking.
There are some great people in the world!

KrisJ
"Don't just have minutes in the day; have moments in time."
Any opinions I give are based on personal experiences, and are not based on medical knowledge. I strongly suggest receiving medical care and opinions.