Dear Josias....My heart goes out to you. My youngest son was your age when he lost his Dad to this cancer and like you, his bond with his parent was the most precious relationship imaginable.
Although, we are a strong family having overcome many obstacles this one, dear Josias, was one of the most difficult times for my son.
Reflecting on the years passed (6) I would like to share with you that the passage of time indeed will allow you to accept the “unacceptable” in a way that at present may appear unimaginable to you.
It was a rocky road for him, dear Josias, and at times he simply could not accept the death of his dear Dad. It appeared that was taken one step forward only to fall back right thereafter. But, as time went on, his forward steps became leaps and his falling backward diminished however; it was one day at a time.
Hospice offers a great program for adolescents struggling with the loss of a loved one, which he attended at times. Additionally he worked with a counselor for several years.
My grief became bearable only by including my husband in my daily life and to this date I think of him and refer to him especially when speaking with my family and others.
He, on the other hand, was not able to do that. He realized that it was best for him not to think about it, as it simply was to painful to go there. He lived by his own rule:
IF IT HURTS TOO MUCH – DON’T THINK ABOUT IT.
As time went on his hurt of the loss was replaced with the memories shared and the gratitude he felt for having a parent that although irreplaceable indeed will forever shadow his life.
Each and everyone have his/her own way of coping with disastrous happenings and you, dear Josias, will find your way too. No one can tell you how to grieve and how long it may take, but please know that you too will overcome.
Reach out to those most helpful such as a support group, individual counselor, school counselor (if applicable) clergy, or organizations offering grief counseling.
All of us will be here for you, as is our Dr. Giles. You can reach him via this link:
Know that what you are experiencing is a true reflection of a young man having lost the most precious being in his life and that it moves slowly - one day at a time.
Please know that we also are here for you – always.
Hugs and love,
THIS INFORMATION IS NOT INTENDED NOR IMPLIED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR PROFESSIONAL MEDICAL ADVICE. YOU SHOULD ALWAYS SEEK THE ADVICE OF YOUR PHYSICIAN OR OTHER QUALIFIED HEALTH CARE PROVIDER