Topic: Update on John
I'm so sad today. I weighed John again and he's down to 156 from 162 a week and a half ago.
We don't see his oncologist again until the 7th. He has a CT scan on the 6th.
He has his birthday the 17th. I really don't think he's going to survive through the month.
This morning at 6 am he got up and looked so sad I went to hold him in my arms and could feel every one of his ribs, and his collar bone. His tushy is gone. We had to get a memory foam mattress because he can't stand the pressure of the regular mattress on his bones and skin.
He's not sleeping through the night due to pain and he's having the same dream every night. He's trying to fill the pickup with all our stuff to move to Alabama and there's never enough time. I think he knows there's not any time left and it's absolutely breaking my heart. I tried to tell him that God might be sending the same dream to tell him to get everything in order since there might NOT be any time left. I don't know how I'm going to survive without him. I love him so much and I know he's going to Heaven but I want him with me.
What do I do for him? I want him to talk to a preacher, I think it will give him a sense of peace for what is coming. I want him to not be afraid about what is ahead of him but he doesn't want that. I wish I could take his fears and sense of uncertanty on myself but no matter who is there, we all have to walk that last step alone. Just pray for him, ask God to send his Angels to guide him home and pray for me ,that I am able to give him my strengh with a smile and a sense of peace for the coming trial ahead.
Thank you all for always being here for me. I will let you know when he is gone. I love each and every one of you like my own family and for your help I pray for a beautiful home on the other shore.