Topic: New to site

Hi my name is Kathy. The time is 2:41 a.m. As you can tell I cannot sleep tonight.  Earlier today I was in the hospital with my mother (age 73) waiting for her to come out from "out patient gall bladder surgery".  When the surgery was over, the doctor came in to consult myself along with my brother & sister on how it went. To our complete surprise and shock, we were informed that the gall bladder could not be removed and that a tumor was found on her liver.  An immediate biopsy was done and we were told that she has CANCER! Doc said it was not "liver" cancer and that it looks as if it started in her bile ducts and spread to her liver. He called it Cholangiocarsinoma and that she was in STAGE IV.  Because I know nothing about cancer (being blessed this has never struck anyone in our family), I started researching it and found this website.  I am so scared of losing mom and do nothing but cry. My father passed away 6 years ago and I am not prepared to lose mom.  This came up so fast, she is never sick.  It all started approx. 1 month ago when she woke up  at 3 a.m. with a stomach ache and nausia thinking it was from eating a few nibbles of raw cookie dough. After severel tests it came down to them telling us her gall bladder should be removed. This is truly unexpected!  Next week we are scheduled to meet with a "Cancer" doctor to answer all our questions and explain to us the next steps to be taken.  I am aware that stage 4 is the worst and last stage of cancer - Doc told us there is no cure and she will die from this. What bothers me is the time frame we are talking about? I know going forward we will keep our chins held high and take one day at a time, knowing we are blessed to have that day and continue to pray for a miracle.  However, not knowing is really hard for me to deal with.  I appreciate your comments - all good and bad ones.  I want to hear of those who has or had this and things I can expect.  I realize each one of us are different - but knowing what you went through will help me understand what we may face tomorrow.  Thank you - God bless!

Re: New to site

Hi Kathy,

Welcome, you have come to the right place for answers. I am so sorry to hear that you & your family are dealing with this terrible cancer. You are correct, everyone is different when it comes to this disease. In my case my husband was healthy the beginning of July & about the middle of the month started having problems. The doctors treated a kidney blockage with a stint.  It progress quickly from there. Several visits to the ER. 4 hospital admissions. He was at stage IV when finally diagnosis with CC after a liver biopsy & a PET Scan. He passed away 9//2/08 at the age of 62. In his case it went very quickly, many here have fought it longer & have had more optimistic results with different types of treatment. In our case it progressed very fast & he quickly lost so much weight & was so weak & sick that any treatment options discussed were not considered because of his condition. Atleast I have the consolation that he is no longer suffering or in pain. I now have to go on & pick up the pieces. All I have left are the memories of all the good times we had. In any case, all I can say is that you will all need to be strong for your Mom. The most important thing is that she be kept comfortable & free of pain. Good Luck to all of you on this journey. Please keep us posted as to how your Mom is doing. If you have any specific questions you need answered feel free to ask. I or anyone else here will be glad to try to help you every step of the way.  I wish I had found this site sooner, but even though my husband has passed on, it has been a blessing & comfort to me to have found it. I can hopefully help others that are now dealing with this terrible cancer. God Bless You & your family. My thoughts & prayers are with you.


"One Day At A Time"

All of my comments and suggestions are just my opinions and are not a substitute for professional medical advice.   You should always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care providers.

Re: New to site

Welcome Kathy, wish you didn't have to join us or take this journey!  We were visiting our kids in Milwaukee when my husband was diagnosed. His was in the bile duct valve and the doctor got it all at that time. This last April the monster reared its ugly head again and Teddy just finished Radiation so that he can move on with cyberknife. You quickly learn the ropes around our site! You have come to the right place. Where are you in WI? We lucked out with Dr. Lyle Henry at Columbia Hospital as there are not too many who know how to deal with our lot in life. Somehow we all stay strong and do what we have to do to get through this nightmare. This web site is full of heroes!


4 (edited by Karen Mon, 15 Sep 2008 05:10:40)

Re: New to site

Dear Kathy,
So sorry for the terrible shock you and your brother received.  I wanted to share with you what our first oncologist said in relation to "how much time is left".  I was very upset at how she put it at the time, but now feel differently.  She said your husband has months...months meaning weeks or months meaning years.  Only time will tell.  We are almost one year out from that conversation and I do try to enjoy every bit of the extended time with my husband.  Prayers coming your way for your Mom.

Wishing all God's blessings!

Re: New to site

Thank you Darla, Lainy & Karen for watching this site so closely and responding so quickly. I appreciate your honesty and respect you for the courage it takes having this disease as part of our lives. You are now part of my life and part of my prayers.  This weekend is the beginning of our journey, it has changed our lives completely.  We seem to be in a "dream like" state not knowing our path in life from here on out.  Tomorrow we will start facing a road that we have never been down before, a very scary road.   (PS: Lainy-our doctors and hospital we are dealing with are in Appleton, WI.) Thank you for your support!