• Registered: Sat, 09 Dec 2006
  • Posts: 514

Topic: 1 year, 8 months without Mom

Will there ever be a time when I stop counting down the months and years? I wish so much that my mother could see how my daughter has grown, tell her all the funny things my daughter does now that she's a big Kindergartener and has a list of boys who've asked her to marry them.

Mom always wanted to take her to Disney, and now we'll be going in November and I feel so sad that she won't be there. She was such a big kid - she could have lived at DisneyWorld and Universal Studios, laughing her way through all the rides. And sneaking Mallomars to my daughter all day.

I know these thoughts lead me nowhere, I just had to vent them. It takes so much out of me to forget, and it takes so much out of me to remember.

Joyce M

  • From: Phoenix AZ
  • Registered: Fri, 13 Jan 2006
  • Posts: 8,218

Re: 1 year, 8 months without Mom

Dear Joyce. The answer is probably No. You will never stop counting because if you did that, you would not be the daughter you are. And by the way I firmly believe Grandma sees everything your daughter is doing. Maybe even guiding her a little? And on a serious note have you made the guest list yet for the weddings?!

Teddy ~In our hearts forever~ATTITUDE is EVERYTHING
Any suggestion I offer is intended as friendly advice based solely on my own experience. Please consult your doctor for professional guidance.
  • JeffG
  • Moderator
  • Offline
  • From: Kansas
  • Registered: Mon, 16 Oct 2006
  • Posts: 1,242

Re: 1 year, 8 months without Mom

Joyce--- While at Disney world you can always let your daughter know this is where Gramma wanted to bring her.  You can always sneak her a Mallomars and tell her that Grammy wanted you to have this just from her.  In other woords let Grammy be part of the trip in some way.  I think you'll benefit as much as your daughter.  Memories are meant to live on and be supportive and beautiful in my opinion.

God Bless You All, and have a great Trip in November.  I've always wanted to go there my self.  Who knows what tomorrow will bring, Hey ?

Say Hi to Micky and Donald,
Jeff G.

Take it to the Limit,One More Time! (Eagles)
  • Belle
  • Senior Member
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  • Registered: Mon, 28 Jan 2008
  • Posts: 77

Re: 1 year, 8 months without Mom

Joyce, I know a bit about mourning because 7 years ago, I lost my precious 13 year old daughter very suddenly and without any warning at all. People ask me all the time if it gets better. The answer that I say is that it doesn't get better, it gets different. Right now, when your loss is so fresh, your emotional pain is almost physical. Almost everything you encounter in your daily life is in context of your mother. This passes with time. Your memories and longing for your mother never go away, but it recedes to the back (or side) of your brain instead of banging at your forehead all day, everyday.

I remember wishing right after my daughter's death that it would be 3 years later already because I felt I couldn't live any more with such raw grief. But I lived, I have experienced and do experience much pain. But I have also lived to feel great joy and happiness (which I never believed I would). We receive a lot more than we are called upon to give up. (I truly believe that!!)

This is a difficult time. Give yourself time and comforts. Best wishes, Belle

  • Registered: Sat, 09 Dec 2006
  • Posts: 514

Re: 1 year, 8 months without Mom

Thank you all so much for being there and your wonderful, caring words. What a great group of people!

Belle,
I can't even imagine the pain of losing your daughter - that's almost too much to withstand. I admire your strength and courage - you describe the grief process so well. Thank you for sharing with me, especially after the recent loss of your sister. I hope you can take some small comfort in the fact that you've helped a fellow griever with your wise words.

Jeff,
I love your ideas about the Mallomars and including my mother in the DIsney experience - what a great piece of advice! Who knows - I may see you there in November! Your spirit is so bright and positive and I really appreciate it.


Lainy,
You always say the right things - kind and funny. You made me laugh - thank you for that. Your work with the Oprah letters is invaluable and gives all of us a sense of purpose.

  • From: Hibbing, MN
  • Registered: Thu, 17 Apr 2008
  • Posts: 198

Re: 1 year, 8 months without Mom

Joyce,
I wish you peace for each day, and joy in the memories that you revisit, however bittersweet.  You've been so supportive to us,  I'm sending it right back to you!
Have a great weekend,
Jolene

"Faith in something greater than ourselves enables us to do what we have said we'll do, to press forward when we are tired or hurt or afraid, to keep going when the challenge seems overwhelming and the course is entirely uncertain."     ~g. b. hinckley