1 (edited by ChineseChick Wed, 30 Nov 2016 02:07:06)

Topic: The passing of a great mom

After 8 months of courageous flight against CC, Heaven gained another angel. I am still in shock and denial. My mom gave it all she got and fought till the end.  She was diagnosed with CC in March 2016 and lost her battle on Nov. 16, 2016. 

My mom started immunotherapy but was in the hospital for pain management.   I took a short trip home and never imagine she would leave us while I was gone.  My dad and brother said she had a good day.  Wanted to have her hair washed, was alert and ate.  She rested but drifted into a coma and passed later that night. 

Mom...you fought hard so you can stay with us....the only comfort is knowing you are no longer in pain.

Re: The passing of a great mom

Dear Nancy,

I am very sorry for your loss.  You were a wonderful supporter and investigated every avenue to help her fight against the disease. 

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family,

Catherine

Not a medical Professional-  just someone who got caught up in this lousy disease.

Re: The passing of a great mom

Dearest Nancy, I am so very sorry to read this about your dear sweet Mom. She fought with so much grace and dignity and getting to know you through your emails, I know that you are a special, courageous Daughter. I don't believe the Moms every really leave their children and she will always be around you. One day you will find yourself putting all the hard memories behind you as all good memories will take their place. You are a very special lady just like your Mom.


Do not stand at my grave and weep;
I am not there. I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glints on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn's rain,
When you awaken in the morning's hush,
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry;
I am not there. I did not die.                   
For everything beautiful that you see
will bring a memory of me.

THANK YOU FOR LOVING ME! Teddy ~In our hearts forever~ATTITUDE is EVERYTHING

Re: The passing of a great mom

Dear Nancy,

I am so sorry for your loss.  You have my deepest sympathy.  Yes, at least for mom it is a blessing that she is no longer suffering or in pain.    Thinking of you at this sad & trying time.

Hugs,
Darla

"One Day At A Time"

All of my comments and suggestions are just my opinions and are not a substitute for professional medical advice.   You should always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care providers.

Re: The passing of a great mom

Nancy,

I am so very sorry. I lost my mother a few years ago, and know the pain you are feeling, even when you know that she is not suffering anymore. Take care of yourself in the coming weeks and months.

Re: The passing of a great mom

Dear Nancy,

I am so very sorry indeed to hear of the passing of your dear Mum. Please accept my sincerest condolences and know that we are all here for you. I so wish that I could say something right now that would help ease the pain that you feel. My thoughts are with you and your family right now.

Hugs,

Gavin

Any advice or comments I give are based on personal experiences and knowledge and are my opinions only, they are not to be substituted for professional medical advice. Please seek professional advice from a qualified doctor or medical professional.

Re: The passing of a great mom

Nancy,....My heart goes out to you and your family.  Knowing you the way I do and the enormous effort made to find answers to your Mom's cancer, you must be assured that everything that could have been investigated was done by you.

Hugs and love,
Marion

THIS INFORMATION IS NOT INTENDED NOR IMPLIED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR PROFESSIONAL MEDICAL ADVICE. YOU SHOULD ALWAYS SEEK THE ADVICE OF YOUR PHYSICIAN OR OTHER QUALIFIED HEALTH CARE PROVIDER

Re: The passing of a great mom

Thank you all.

I'm so lost some days wondering all the 'ifs'.   I know I did my best but still wondering what more I could have done.  Wasn't looking for a cure..but something to keep the cancer in place so we would have had more time with mom. 

Thank you Lainy, Marions, Catherine, Gavin, Darla and everyone else here on the board who answered and helped me along our battle.

Mahalo, Nancy

Re: The passing of a great mom

Dear Nancy,

I am so very sorry for the loss of your mom. Sending prayers for strength, peace and comfort to engulf you and keep you strong. If you ever need to talk, you know how to reach me, I have been thinking of you lots these past few weeks. Take care and lots of hugs to you.
Melinda

Re: The passing of a great mom

My Dear Nancy, try not to look back, I KNOW you did everything you could. Mom would want you to look forward and in time what was, will fade and happy memories will take over. You did everything that you possibly and humanly could but unfortunately as much as has been accomplished for CC is still not enough. Your Mom knows what you did and how much she was loved. Loving is the most important part and you certainly showed her that.  Grief takes it's own time but one day when you are ready you will realize that Mom is with you all the time.

THANK YOU FOR LOVING ME! Teddy ~In our hearts forever~ATTITUDE is EVERYTHING

Re: The passing of a great mom

I agree with Lainy.  You did all that you could.  We all did the best with the situation we were given and I'm sure most of us have questioned what we could have done different.   I know it's hard to believe right now, but with time things will get better and you will be able to take comfort in all of the good memories you have.  It never really goes away, but it does got better.  Grief is a very personal thing and everyone deals with it in their own way & time.  I am also a believer that although our loved ones are no longer with us physically, they are  always near to us.   Take care Nancy.

Hugs,
Darla

"One Day At A Time"

All of my comments and suggestions are just my opinions and are not a substitute for professional medical advice.   You should always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care providers.

Re: The passing of a great mom

Dear Nancy,
I lost my mum to CC in August, just 3 months after diagnosis. I hear your pain as clearly as mine. It is so hard, the speed at which things progress and yes the questions are there, did we do the right thing, is there more we could have done? But now with a bit more clear mind, I do see and accept that we did the best we could, and can be glad that she is now at peace and not in pain.
I wish you the same strength and courage that you showed the last few months, to take you through the coming months and years.
Hugs
Rangani

Re: The passing of a great mom

Hi Rangani,

Sorry to hear about your mum.  Yes, the only comfort right now is that my mom is at peace and no longer in pain.

Only time will heal...

Mahalo, Nancy

Rangani wrote:

Dear Nancy,
I lost my mum to CC in August, just 3 months after diagnosis. I hear your pain as clearly as mine. It is so hard, the speed at which things progress and yes the questions are there, did we do the right thing, is there more we could have done? But now with a bit more clear mind, I do see and accept that we did the best we could, and can be glad that she is now at peace and not in pain.
I wish you the same strength and courage that you showed the last few months, to take you through the coming months and years.
Hugs
Rangani

Re: The passing of a great mom

Thank you Darla.

Mahalo, Nancy


Darla wrote:

I agree with Lainy.  You did all that you could.  We all did the best with the situation we were given and I'm sure most of us have questioned what we could have done different.   I know it's hard to believe right now, but with time things will get better and you will be able to take comfort in all of the good memories you have.  It never really goes away, but it does got better.  Grief is a very personal thing and everyone deals with it in their own way & time.  I am also a believer that although our loved ones are no longer with us physically, they are  always near to us.   Take care Nancy.

Hugs,
Darla

Re: The passing of a great mom

Thank you Lainy.

I appreciate all the help you've given me since we started this battle few months ago.  Thank you for answering all my emails and help me understand more about CC.

Mahalo, Nancy


Lainy wrote:

My Dear Nancy, try not to look back, I KNOW you did everything you could. Mom would want you to look forward and in time what was, will fade and happy memories will take over. You did everything that you possibly and humanly could but unfortunately as much as has been accomplished for CC is still not enough. Your Mom knows what you did and how much she was loved. Loving is the most important part and you certainly showed her that.  Grief takes it's own time but one day when you are ready you will realize that Mom is with you all the time.

Re: The passing of a great mom

Thank you Melinda.

Mahalo, Nancy

mbachini wrote:

Dear Nancy,

I am so very sorry for the loss of your mom. Sending prayers for strength, peace and comfort to engulf you and keep you strong. If you ever need to talk, you know how to reach me, I have been thinking of you lots these past few weeks. Take care and lots of hugs to you.
Melinda

Re: The passing of a great mom

Thank you Gavin.

Mahalo, Nancy

Gavin wrote:

Dear Nancy,

I am so very sorry indeed to hear of the passing of your dear Mum. Please accept my sincerest condolences and know that we are all here for you. I so wish that I could say something right now that would help ease the pain that you feel. My thoughts are with you and your family right now.

Hugs,

Gavin

Re: The passing of a great mom

Thank you Catherine.

Mahalo, Nancy

middlesister1 wrote:

Dear Nancy,

I am very sorry for your loss.  You were a wonderful supporter and investigated every avenue to help her fight against the disease. 

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family,

Catherine

Re: The passing of a great mom

Hi Marion,

Thank you... Mahalo for taking my calls and help me understand this awful disease.  Appreciate your help the last several months.

Mahalo, Nancy

marions wrote:

Nancy,....My heart goes out to you and your family.  Knowing you the way I do and the enormous effort made to find answers to your Mom's cancer, you must be assured that everything that could have been investigated was done by you.

Hugs and love,
Marion

Re: The passing of a great mom

Thank you.

Mahalo, Nancy

googily wrote:

Nancy,

I am so very sorry. I lost my mother a few years ago, and know the pain you are feeling, even when you know that she is not suffering anymore. Take care of yourself in the coming weeks and months.

Re: The passing of a great mom

It's been a little over 8 months since I lost my mom.  I still find it hard to believe she is no longer with us.  Her 8 months of battle plays in my head over and over again.

I just started therapy today and hoping this would help...

Re: The passing of a great mom

Dear Nancy,

I am hoping therapy will help ease some of your pain and bring you through such a difficult loss, 8 months is still a short time for grieving, take care of your self, as I know from a mother's stand point that is what I would want for my children.  Love and hugs to you....Melinda

Re: The passing of a great mom

Dear Nancy,

I hope the therapy works.  My mom had her scan this week and we are optimistic that the CC  is still in remission ( results next tues).   However, we lost Dad to lung cancer 5 months ago and I just spent the last hour looking at pics from his memorial site and sobbing.  I have a  doc visit with GP and will be discussing depression and concerns that I am not as productive at work as I should be.  I guess my only  "positive" for today is that I am now remembering Dad as he was before the cancer took hold .  And, although I am devastated that he will not be coming back, I also realized how much he was loved and will always be a part of us.  My main focus is to support my mother. 

Sorry for the rambling and talking more about me than you-  but knowing how I feel, love and hugs are coming your way because I know how much it changes your life when you lose a parent. 

Take care,
Catherine

Not a medical Professional-  just someone who got caught up in this lousy disease.

Re: The passing of a great mom

Hello Nancy,
Do anything that helps!  I also am experiencing the toughness of this with my mom, so I can relate.
Please don't rush or think it's wrong or somehow you should not grieve for a long time.  Go at your pace and know it's okay to look at the positive memories with your mom.  I hope the therapy helps you to live daily in peace.