Welcome to the site and my apologies for not replying to you up until now. Sorry to hear of your husbands diagnosis and also what you are going through also with everything. Having been my dads carer when he went through this and also having been my mums carer for 11 years now I can relate so much to what you are going through right now.
My dad experienced much of what your husband is going through right now and he also withdrew a lot from everyone for much of the time after his diganosis. This I would argue is quite common. Part of his treatment was in hospital in which he had to spend around a month or so in a room on his own and his doctor put him on Prozac during that time. He had light sensitivity due to the PDT so had to stay in the room for a month and no wonder the docs wanted to put him on Prozac. Is there anyone that could speak with your husband on a man to man basis I guess to try and get him to talk a bit about things and what this is doing to you?
Your social worker sounds like they are on the ball here so maybe they could do this? An AD for yourself also sounds right as you have a ton of stuff now to deal with. Please do not ever beat yourself up about what you are doing as you are doing everything that you can to help right now. No one has wrote a book about the right or proper way to do all of this and there is no manual as it were. You are doing great so do not waste energy worrying about that if you were.
As to future care. If you feel that you have reached or reach the point where you do not feel capable anymore of providing the care that your husband needs and deserves then please please get on the phone to the social worker or the hospice team and tell them immediately. Do NOT feel ashamed or bad about doing that as that is their job and what they are there to do. They are the professionals and we are not. We do our best and what we can but sometimes we need the help of the pro's. No shame what so ever in that.
As to the ascites and the draining. The draining of the fluid from the abdomen will help your husband feel better once it has been drained but it will keep on coming back hence it will continue to need to be drained. But hopefully when it is drained he will feel a bit better after it. And the tiredness and wanting to sleep is also common and my dad went through that as well.
It does sound from what you say that you have a good team around you but remember not to be afraid to ask them for more help if need be. You should not go through this alone and fi it gets to the stage of in hospice care then they will be there to keep your husband as comfortable as possible. My dad went into hospice care and they took very very good care of him.
Now that you have joined us here you are definitely not alone in this, we are all here for you so please keep on coming back and we will help in what ever way we can. We don't have all the answers but many of us have been or are going through what you are. And if you want to vent, shout or scream then feel free to do so as that often helps! Please keep us updated on everything.
Any advice or comments I give are based on personal experiences and knowledge and are my opinions only, they are not to be substituted for professional medical advice. Please seek professional advice from a qualified doctor or medical professional.