Topic: Introduction

Hi Everyone,
My 89 year old mother was diagnosed with cholangiocarcinoma in early September after she was hospitalized for jaundice.  An external biliary drainage tube was inserted because the radiologist could not get the ERCP through the bile duct tumor.  Her doctors all said the same thing, that there was nothing they could do and we needed to focus on palliative care.  She is in fantastic shape for an 89 year old but she has become so incredibly frail since she got sick.  My brothers and I decided not to tell her she has cancer and is terminal because we thought if she expected to get well, she would have hope and may have more time with us.  She was in a rehab facility for three weeks following her hospitalization to get her back on her feet.  My brother and his wife were okay with her staying there but after seeing her decline I decided I would take a leave from work and have her discharged back to her place in NYC.  Hospice is coordinating her care and I will stay with her in her home.  In my mind there was no reason for her to spend her remaining time in a place with strangers and marginal food and being alone in bed most of the time, except for when my brother and his wife and kids visit for an hour or so every day.  I live in Maryland and another brother lives in PA.  I'm getting resistance from my brother and his family because I'm removing Mom from the facility and taking her into the city, 70 miles from where they live on Long Island, even though they declined to take her into their home (which was her wish).  We all have choices to make and I think taking Mom home is a good thing to do.  Please pray for her, for me, and for us all.  May God Bless.  Thanks for listening.

Re: Introduction

Dear Rosemary,

May God live within your heart.  Stepping up as the caretaker for your Mom is the most loving and caring thing a daughter can do for their parent.  Please take care of yourself and asked for help when you need it.  I'm sure your Mom has gained incredible wisdom during her life and will know when it is time to make her journey to our heavenly home.  I'm also sure God will give you the strength to know when it is time to let your Mom know that it's okay and  she can rest peacefully if she wants to.  My prayers go out to you all.   Don't ever be in doubt, If I did not have this CC I would be doing the same thing with my Mom.
Again God Bless You , Your Mom, and All of your family.

Take it to the Limit,One More Time! (Eagles)

Re: Introduction

Best of luck to you Rosemary. I'm sorry you are having resistance to what you are doing within your family, but I agree with Jeff G, it is the right thing to do, and I wish you all the best, lots of love, strength and peace to you all.

Re: Introduction

Hya Rosemary, As a mum myself I know that to be cared for  by my family would be the most loving and deepest act they could ever give to me. When my alan ( in rememberance) knew he was very ill the first thing he said to me was "mom can I come home and will you look after me and care for me to the end". This I did and I know that I did my utmost to make him comfortable and pain free. I opened our home up to all of his friends and he said he had support and friends that were priceless beyond beleief. I always remember someone years ago said to me that whatever we do it will never be enough. but as long as we do our best with what we have at the very most we have tried. I know that like me you are going to do your best and your mom will be greatly cared for, relished and loved beyond anything else . All my love and thoughts daily go with you and yours on this journey xxxxxxxx