Topic: Today has been a very bad day
Some days are good, some days are just tolerable, but today has been a rough day. I can't give any reason why today is different....My Daddy passed away on January 14. Saturday, the one month anniversary was better than today. It frustrates my husband, because he wants to know why I am crying and all I can say is 'I miss my Daddy." I don't know what triggers it, a smell, a song, a certain food I cook.....that is how today is. Today at work, sitting at the computer, the tears just started and flooded and flooded. I tell myself that Daddy is so much better off, no more pain, no more gasping for air, but I am selfish and want him back. Not with the cancer, but back before this horrible disease invaded his life 18 months ago. For the last 6 weeks of his life, he didn't have the strength to go outside, which he loved and in the last 3 months of his life he went from a strong man of 230 pounds to 175 pounds........the way this cancer just eats the life away is horrible......sorry for my ramblings, but it does help to come here and read all of your posts and know I have others who feel my pain and understand the emptiness I am feeling right now. I want to share a poem that I read often when I feel like this and it is though my Daddy is saying these words to me. This is just how he would talk with me now as the tears flow as I type this. When Daddy passed away, I searched for a poem for his obituary. I am not sure if I found this poem on this site, if I did THANK YOU to the person who originally posted it. I has been great comfort to me.
He is Gone
You can shed tears that he is gone,
Or you can smile because he lived,
You can close your eyes and pray that he will come back,
Or you can open your eyes and see all that he has left.
Your heart can be empty because you can't see him
Or you can be full of the love that you shared,
You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday,
Or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday.
You can remember him and only that he is gone
Or you can cherish his memory and let it live on,
You can cry and close your mind, be empty and turn your back,
Or you can do what he would want:
Smile, open your eyes, love and go on.
Thank you for reading my post.
Smiles through tears,