Magic (& Charlotte and others)-
I am so sorry and troubled by your loss. It is a lonely time for you. Keep reaching out to those of us who understand. My best friend is gone, my Mother. She was merely 61 years old and was only 60 when disgnosed, and gone 41 days later.
You are not alone, please know this, and make steps to find support locally, in therapy, through friends, and get lots of hugs. Do whatever it takes to move through this.
I speak from the vantage point of a daughter. My Mother lost my father 1 year earlier (he too died early at 61) and it knocked her down hard, which I know speed the cancer to her quickly. The stress of loss and the trauma that occurs is so hard on those of us left behind. A part of her died with him and she made me promised not to let loosing her destroy me. You too have to promise your husband and yourself something similar.
I know it stings to hear this, but you have to go on living... without him. You have to live more fully and trust life again despite the shock and confusion. I only wish I could have made my own Mother understand this. She was trapped in her grief, and it hurt her more. Please do not make that same mistake.
(((Hugs)) to you. Take care of yourself. And remember... YOU ARE NOT ALONE. -ljg