Topic: A Wife's Grief
This is one of those days. I feel like one foot won't go in front of the other today. All these things - helplessness, keeping everything together for everyone, caring for my sweet Charlie, doubt, fear, grief - it's overwhelming today. It's 1:00 p.m. and Charlie is still sleeping. I feel like I have disappeared, but how can that be? I'm the one holding everything together, aren't I? This limbo between Charlie's life and his "shell" of a life is unbearable today. Everybody talks about the precious time we have and how lucky we are. As it drags on and on, it doesn't feel so lucky. Seeing the love of your life deteriorate isn't easy on anyone. Charlie says he feels like a 90 year old man. I feel so guilty and bad thinking this way because everyone keeps reminding me how lucky we are. What's wrong with me?
Thanks for letting me get that out. I am so tired and burned out. Today is bad, pray for better tomorrows.