Topic: Is This What U R Really Thinking?
If I should express anger or depression, PLEASE don't say "You have to stay
positive" or "Let's talk about the good things in your life".
Accept that I am afraid, lonely, anxious and in pain. I NEED to let these feelings out!
Don't feel you have to "FIX it!" Don't worry about saying the right thing, it's OK to tell me you don't know what to say.
REMEMBER no matter how supportive you are, my feelings don't disappear when you hang up the phone or walk away.
If I say I'm tired, please don't say "who isn't tired?" The tiredness I feel from my treatments go beyond fatigue. Remember I still have to do the same housework, shopping, laundry that you do, while being physically, emotionally and financially drained.
IF I need to talk about the possibility of my own death, PLEASE DON'T say "Stop talking like that" or "Everyone's going to die. I could get hit by a bus tomorrow." The only way you can compare getting hit by a bus and going through treatments for cancer is if the bus hits you, and then dragged you around for 5 years before you died.
PLEASE DO listen to my fears. Just listen and let me know you are there for me. I know how important it is to be positive, but sometimes I just need to
cry, scream and talk about how unfair life is.
REMEMBER I am on chemicals that are poisons. My hormones, emotions, body, plans for the future, activity level, finances and friendships have all been affected by cancer.
REMEMBER above all else, cancer has not only affected me. It has affected you too. And just as I have asked you to be there for me, I promise to do what I can to be there for you!
Any suggestion I offer is intended as friendly advice based solely on my own experience. Please consult your doctor for professional guidance.