Re: Update on my Dad

Hi everyone,

Just thought I would do a quick update on the last few days. On Monday Dad wasn't feeling too great, but nowhere near as bad as last week. Was really tired and had a bout of shaking so spend most of the day in bed. I wanted to get the gp out but dad didn't think that was necessary. On Tuesday we went to the Macmillan day care centre and Dad liked it. It was just to see what was on offer there and he is now going to go once a week for a few hours on a Tuesday. It will do him good to get out and meet others. They do all sort of alternative relaxtion therapies, group activitives and their are doctors and specialist nurses there to talk with. He seems keen on the idea so we will see how that goes.

Yesterday he saw his Macmillan nurse at home and we talked about various things. I brought up the possible stent blockage etc and what everyone here is telling me and she agrees that by the time dad gets his hospital appt that it will be too long to have to wait. She is going to get in touch with the specialist to see if the appt can be brought forward so keeping fingers crossed for that. I also mentioned about getting a second opinion if no treatment was offered to dad by his specialist, and this did not go down well with my mum, she really is not keen at all on this. Dad is also wary of pushing for this and they are of the opinion that the specialist is the expert and knows what is best for my dad. Dad went to bed after the nurse left and I tried to talk again about second opinion, but mum refused to discuss it. I knew persuing this further would just lead to another arguement so I dropped the subject for now. If they decide not to ask for another opinion then I guess I will just have to respect their wishes.

The nurse also brought up the topic of future care again and had dad thought anymore about this. Talked about whether he wanted to be cared for at home or a hospice if he needed it. Dad got a bit emotional and teary eyed again, but I guess it is something that needs to be talked about. Dad wants to stay at home as long as possible, but is worried about how this will affect mum considering her health problems. I know that if this situation arises then we will get plenty of help from Macmillan and Marie Curie nurses, but the affect it will have on mum really worries him.

Thinking about what has happened over the last few weeks, I still get the feeling that we are sort of being prepared for bad news when we see the specialist. Am trying not to think too negatively about this or get too down about it as that won't help any of us right now.

Anyway, thanks for listening.

Best wishes to you all.

Gavin

Any advice or comments I give are based on personal experiences and knowledge and are my opinions only, they are not to be substituted for professional medical advice. Please seek professional advice from a qualified doctor or medical professional.

Re: Update on my Dad

hi Gavin,
    im sure most of us here know what you are going through trying to respect your parents wishes. It is hard enough to deal with the first diagnosis let alone a second or third. Maybe if your dads doctors suggest that he seek a second opinion it might carry some weight. As someone dealing with the same monster i cannot stress the importance of another opinion, as for us we had four. i wont lie and say it was easy hearing the same opinions over and over again because it wasnt, it was gut wrenching but also necessary. But after seeing new specialist and doctors differant doors and options for treatment began to emerge, knowledge is a part of defeating this monster. The feelings your mom and dad are having now are very natural,you have some highs and you have your lows, but you must keep POSITIVE and keep going forward. Iwill be praying for you and your family...good luck....ron

Re: Update on my Dad

Ron, thank you so much, I doubt any one could have said this better!

Teddy ~In our hearts forever~ATTITUDE is EVERYTHING
Any suggestion I offer is intended as friendly advice based solely on my own experience. Please consult your doctor for professional guidance.

Re: Update on my Dad

Gavin,

I think you are experiencing a type of generation gap with your parents (as I did with my dad). My dad put his faith and trust in his doctor (who was quite knowledgeable about cc) and was hesitant to second guess or push him. Likewise my dad didn

Re: Update on my Dad

Thanks fro your kind welcome - never get on here very much as i've been spending so much time on the road to the hospital. Gaving - is Mr Tait your dad's consultant?

My husband has not been able to get to the  chemo stage for months. He was on Capcetabine tablets which didn't do much but he is fighting a blood infection. Everytime we got so far on the chemo the infection was back - high temps and rigours... it seems to 'eat up' antibiotics.

He was due to start on gemcetabine but for the passed 9 weeks he has been on 3/4 different antibiotics, then another stent needed in his liver, a stent in his bowel (cos the tumour was closing that) and mets on a bone in his lower back. He's not had a scan since february so goodness knows what is going on. maybe we should be asking for one but not sure if we want to know at the moment!

Trying to get him to eat is such hard work. Any ideas to counter the effects of the antibiotics?

Re: Update on my Dad

Hi everyone,

Thanks for your posts. Well we have had no joy so far in trying to get the appt brought forward so it is back to waiting for the 26th unless something happens before then. Dads mood has actually been pretty good the last few days, but he has been really tired and spent a lot of time in bed sleeping during the day. Back to the waiting game I guess.

Ron, thanks for your post. The first diagnosis was indeed extremely tough as I'm sure you know. Hearing that someone you love has cancer and that it is inoperable was not easy to hear. If dads specialist was to recommend a second opinion and could also recommend someone else knowledgeable enough about CC for Dad to see, then I'm certain Dad would want that. Even though it would indeed be gut wrenching as you say to hear the same diagnosis again, I think Dad would want that if it was recommended to him.  I hear what you say about different doctors offering different treatments. Because of the location of dads tumour, radiation and surgery were ruled out at the start and PDT was recommeded at first with the possibility of chemo at some point depending on how things progressed.

As far as highs and lows go, you are so right about that! We are trying to stay positive and I know that we must do. Thanks for keeping us in your thoughts and prayers, I will be keeping you and your family in mine.

Bazel, thanks for your post and you may well be right about a type of generation gap between us and our parents. Like your dad, my parents have and are putting their faith in dads doctor, and rightly or wrongly, they are also hesitant right now to push for another opinion. This is something I do have to respect though. Right now I just wish dads hosp appt was sooner so we have some idea of what may or may not be offered to him and at least then we can think about what to do next. You are also so right about the advice being offered by everyone on this site. Everyone here is so helpfull and the advice is very much appreciated. Good luck to you.

Pam, good to hear from you again and thanks for your post. Having to do that drive on a regular basis is not ideal and it must get tiring. If I remember correctly, it is not the best of roads either. Yes Mr Tait is my dads consultant, is he your husbands consultant also? My dad really likes him and spent a lot of time with him when he was in hospital. He also spent a lot of time with us as a family explaining things.

I'm sorry to hear of the problems your husband is having with infections, chemo and his stents. I dont know anything really about chemo or how to counter the effects of the antibiotics. Hopefully someone will be along soon that can help with that. As far as trying to get him to eat, are there not drugs that can be taken that can increase his appetite? I'm sure I read somewhere that there are such drugs, but I could be wrong. Is your husband due for another scan soon? The last one my dad had was in January and that was through in Perth.

I will keep my fingers crossed for your husband and I hope that he manages to get started asap on the gemcetabine. I hope you manage to post more if you can and keep us all updated. I wish you the best of luck.

Many thanks once again to everyone and I wish you all the very best.

Gavin

Any advice or comments I give are based on personal experiences and knowledge and are my opinions only, they are not to be substituted for professional medical advice. Please seek professional advice from a qualified doctor or medical professional.