Topic: Top 10 list
10 Ways You Know That Your Doctor is an Oncologist
- Emily Hollenberg, Cancer Survivor
10. Even though he/she is wearing a white lab coat and not a military uniform, words like battle, fight, war and weapons are frequently used in the conversation.
9. You know that your doctor is an oncologist at a medical center when he/she uses "oma" words like carcinoma, lymphoma and melanoma instead of cancer.
8. He/she tries to explain to you why a low grade is better than a high grade on your path report. (I could have used that approach explaining my grades to my parents.)
7. He/she wants you to be excited when your tests come back negative not positive, of course this does not fit with most life experiences when you know it is better to be positive than negative.
6. He/she talks a lot about trials and as far as you know is not a lawyer or a judge.
5. When shaking hands with you at your initial appointment, you have a feeling that your veins are being checked out.
4. Asks you if you want a port and you know that this is not an invitation to have a drink.
3. Tells you that you will get a series of treatments and you keep wondering where the "treat" part comes in.
2. Tells you that you are on a protocol and it doesn't seem to fit with the dictionary definition. Protocol: form of ceremony and etiquette observed by diplomats and heads of state.
1. Has you sign a consent form for treatment that is more intimidating than the diagnosis.
I should add:
11. You can't spell his/her last name and saying it is practically a tongue twister.
Feel free to add your own.