Topic: My Dad passed away on May 20, 2009

On May 20, 2009 my Dad passed away at the age of 70.  I am still in disbelief and cannot believe he is gone.  He was diagnosed with this terrible disease on August 8, 2008, 1 day before his 70th birthday.  Now, 9 months and 12 days later he is gone.  My sister and I took him to the Mayo Clinic in hopes "they" could do something.  After a failed attempt at a liver resection it was suggested he try chemo.  In December 2008 he started his treatments, Gemzar for 3 months.  After the CT scan showed no growth or no shrinking of the tumors, the oncologist suggested radiation and 5FU.  After 6 weeks of that Dad was experiencing vomiting and a lot of pain in his abdomen. He was admitted to the hospital on May 16, 2009 with a large amount of fliud build up in his abdomen.  On May 18th the doctors suggested we contact Hospice as there was nothing more the doctors could do for Dad.  We had him transfered to HospiceCare on Tuesday, May 19th and he died 1 day later on May 20th.  I am devastated and am not sure how to cope or what to do next. My two greatest fears in life have always been, losing my Dad and being alone. Now one has come true.  If anyone has any advise on how to cope with a loss of a loved one, a father and friend please share.  I am scared!

Bless all the people affected with this dreaded disease, the caregivers, the family and friends.

Re: My Dad passed away on May 20, 2009

I am so sorry.

Re: My Dad passed away on May 20, 2009

I am so sorry for your loss.  I can't give you help in coping,  because I haven't figured it out myself.  I wish there was something to say to make the pain go away, but I know there isn't. Try to remember all the wonderful years you had with your Dad and take one day at a time.

Lulu

I miss you more and more everyday. 
RFL 6/28/58-12/27/08

Re: My Dad passed away on May 20, 2009

What a wonderful father you had for him to be missed so deeply. I know you feel there will be no end to your sadness but in time you will remember more about the good memories and they will overtake the grief. Grief is a long process and just remember he will always be with you in your heart and in your mind. I do believe too that some of the sadness  in a way is the release of not having to care for him anymore. Remember that was what you lived so long with. He is truly in a more peaceful and happy place. And soon, as it has happened with others, you will begin to know he really is with you. Our prayers are with you and your family.

Teddy ~In our hearts forever~ATTITUDE is EVERYTHING
Any suggestion I offer is intended as friendly advice based solely on my own experience. Please consult your doctor for professional guidance.

Re: My Dad passed away on May 20, 2009

I am sorry for your loss. This is a terrible disease and it seems only to take the good ones.

Kris

Cancer is a word, not a sentence.

36 year old patient with buckets of hope

Re: My Dad passed away on May 20, 2009

My deepest sympathy on the loss of your dad.  There are no words to console you right now, but you can come here to vent and find sympathy whenever you want - we understand.
Joyce M

Re: My Dad passed away on May 20, 2009

sorry for your loss.it is terrable to loos your dad. but he is in peace now.
it needs time to overcome this. be strong there is sunschine after the
rain, time wil heal.

god bless you and your familie,

moon

Re: My Dad passed away on May 20, 2009

I am so sorry for the loss of your dear Father.  Having recently lost a loved one to this horrible disease, I understand what you are going through.  There is no easy way to get through this journey of grieving. It is a very personal, private thing & is different for each of us. It just takes time. Take comfort in the fact that he is in a better place and is no longer suffering. Know that he will be with you forever in your heart & memories. Just take things one day at a time, one step at a time and come here often for help & support or even just to vent your feelings. We are all here for you to help give you comfort & strength in this time of great sadness.

You and your family are in my thoughts & prayers.

Love & Hugs,
Darla

"One Day At A Time"

All of my comments and suggestions are just my opinions and are not a substitute for professional medical advice.   You should always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care providers.

Re: My Dad passed away on May 20, 2009

I am so sorry for the loss of your Father, and the grief that you are suffering through. It has been almost 8 months for me now, after losing my husband, and I can tell you that the grief will lesson as time goes along. I tm able to think more of the good times (and there were so many of them), and not remember those terrible last months quite so  much. It doesn't go away - the grief - but it is not so oppressive as it was those first months. I still think of my husband almost every day, but many times I smile when I think of him now - instead of the rivers of tears that came when I first lost him. I try to think of him in that other place - on the other side - happy and healthy again, and saving me a place for when I get there. Come here any time you want to vent - we will be here for you. This is not easy, but you have friends here.


Joyce C.

Re: My Dad passed away on May 20, 2009

I'm so sorry Swarty, losing a Dad is like losing a chunk of our own hearts, and it leaves a big empty hole in our lives. You're not alone.  It's hard to know what to do next, it's just one day at a time - especially when the grief is deep.  You're right, it's a scary ride. I lost my own Dad to cc in March, so I do understand your loss. My coping mechanism is to just keep talking to Dad like he was still here, and holding on to the hope that I'll see him again.

Sending many hugs to you, for strength and peace in your heart.

Tess