• From: NSW,Australia
  • Registered: Sat, 14 Feb 2009
  • Posts: 557

Topic: Keeping going

Hi there   Im keeping going-hanging on by a thread.I have found the last few months very difficult and I have been so overwhelmed by paperwork.Because my husband ,Joel died rather quickly we didnt have time to sort things out completely-we did try!I have found that the sorting out is incredible-many organizations require copies of the death certificate etc,I have been at this for months and it is endless.How terrible that all this paperwork is required from grieving people,so hard         Janet x

  • Registered: Fri, 12 May 2006
  • Posts: 8,165

Re: Keeping going

Janet...I so much can relate to you.  We had a large law-practice and in addition to the personal paperwork I also had to make sure that all the clients were protected, and I was protected.  Somehow, we get through this.  You will too.  Continue to vent.  Those feelings have to go somewhere.
Hugs
Marion

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  • From: Wisconsin
  • Registered: Sun, 07 Sep 2008
  • Posts: 1,990

Re: Keeping going

Hi Janet,

As you know we didn't have our affairs in order either since Jim passed so quickly. and I know what you are going through. The grieving is hard enough without all of the necessary things that need to be done.  Just when you think you have everything covered, something else comes up.  As Marion said, some how we do manage to get through it all and I know you will too.  Come back & vent all you want.  It does help & what better place to do it than here where everyone really does care & understand what you are going through.

Love & Hugs,
Darla

"One Day At A Time"
  • Tess
  • Champion
  • Offline
  • Registered: Sat, 15 Nov 2008
  • Posts: 344

Re: Keeping going

Hi Janet, just wanted to send you wishes for strength. I see my Mom going through what you're going through, and I think it's one of the greatest challenges she's had to face over the last couple months, since Dad's passing.... the logistics of paperwork. It is a terrible stress to add to a griever's plate.

One day at a time. I find a vase of fresh flowers helps the process of filling out paperwork and cleaning the house. Every once in awhile we have to get these for ourselves, instead of waiting for someone to bring them to us!

Sending well wishes your way!

-Tess

  • From: Phoenix, Arizona
  • Registered: Sat, 11 Apr 2009
  • Posts: 89

Re: Keeping going

Dear Janet,
EEKK, I feel your pain. My husband's affairs were also not organized and it's been a complete nightmare sorting through and trying to make arrangements. As you've seen from my other posts I am an emotional wreck - my 'sane' moments are spent trying to organize finances etc. and I keep finding little surprises (expenses, bills, credit cards...that I didn't know about). Disaster.

The ONLY support/good advice I can offer is:
1) I feel your pain as do most of us on this website
2) there is an end to the administrative mess. Although it feels like we have mountains of work to do and to be frank, even picking up the phone to make a call to VISA feels like work, settling an estate is not an endless task and eventually it will be okay.

Good luck. Vent here all you want - we can sympathize!!

XOXO

Danielle

  • From: Endicott, New York
  • Registered: Sun, 01 Jun 2008
  • Posts: 457

Re: Keeping going

Dear Janet,
  We can all agree - the paperwork SEEMS endless, and the emotional struggles we go through every time we have to deal with these things are SO difficult.  Rest assured, though - there IS an end to it - I just kept plugging along, one thing at a time. It has been almost 9 months now, and something came last week from my 403B through my employer - I had to send them a copy of Butch's death certificate (AGAIN), so that I could take him off as my beneficiary, and put my daughter on. That was a setback for me, as I don't like to do it - it just reminds me of something that I don't want to think about! But you will eventually get through the bulk of it. No wonder we're grumpy sometimes!

Love - joyce

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