Topic: feeling blue

i went to see my mommy grave for the first time since  the fueral  that was hard i miss my mommy a lot i have 2 older borthers and m y dad but me and my mommy was the only two girls and now it just me .i always went to my mommy about everything and now she is not here i can't .  there are days when i m ok and there are days like yersterday when i am feeling upset and want her there to give me a huge hug and stroke my hair like she did when i was upset of her being in the hospital or her having to do chemo i have a birthday this week and i am miss my mommy even more because she was always there to share my birthdays with me   i went throught and got rid of some of her clothes and i can't do it alot ebcause then i get upset and get down i don't want to throw her things away because it hard for me to accept that she is not here anymore i don't know what i should do anymore and i know that my dad and brothers are helping and miss her to i just want my mommy back here with me and i don't know what to do  missing and wanting my mom

Re: feeling blue

Peanut,
Don't be in any rush to go through your Moms things. Do it when you are ready. There may be things that you decide you want to keep. I know it is hard not having your Mom here with you physically, but remember she will ALWAYS be with you. As a Mom I know that I will always be with my kids even after I have left this world. In time it will get a little easier. You'll be able to laugh and smile at all the fun memories you have of her. Take care of yourself and allow yourself time to grieve. God Bless,
Jamie

Re: feeling blue

You know, I really feel it is important to s-l-o-w down and savor the process of grieving, to fully feel it and be in it, to be as present as possible with each and every emotion and event.  I also remember that I had to go thru and mark all the things I would take with me and I really felt her guiding hand in each decision, because frankly I was out of my mind with sorrow.

It turned out to be a good thing, because I felt that she selected each and every thing she wanted me to have, and I am all the more grateful for the things, but more so for that experience, and her special gift to me... learning how to live fully and take each moment as is comes. 

Just as you enjoyed your loved one... enjoy their memory, and communing with them each time you think of them or touch their treasured gifts.  If you are a daughter or son, remember that you are one of their gifts and take good care of yourself, learning to live fully with the memories and in your own "present".  (((hugs)))  -ljg