Topic: End of life
This weekend for me marks the anniversary of the end of my life as I knew it.
My husband,Joel was diagnosed on the 12th after a ct scan following some abnormal blood tests during a routine check.The ct showed cholangiocarcinoma,quite advanced.We left the emergency room at my insistence,not waiting around for the medical registrar.When I heard the word cholangiocarcinoma I felt we were doomed,being a registered nurse I knew it was one of the worst cancers you could get.
We saw our own doctor on the monday and when I saw the results in black and white I knew this was really bad.I did not tell Joel though,I thought it was not my role to do this so that came to the oncologist two weeks later.It was the most unbelievably stressful time for me with that knowledge and also as a nurse of 30 years experience I knew exactly what would happen,the ascites,loss of weight etc.I was really heartbroken,I had looked after others but to imagine my precious husband going through it all was unbearable.
It did all play out as I thought it would,he did not last long,despite having no symptoms at diagnosis.The family and local community were flabbergasted when he died but unfortunately I had seen it all from the minute of diagnosis.