Thats good that your mum seems a bit better each day and that her meds seem to be working. Visits from family and friends are indeed positive and will no doubt help her mood. I know when my dad sees some of his old friends it works wonders with his moods.
As to chemo or not, well for my dad I said to him it would have to be his choice if he should start it or not. He was initially treated with PDT last year with a view to maybe doing chemo later. As it turned out, we found out this week that he was not suitable for chemo, but if he was suitable, it would be his decision to do it or not if it was offered to him. I couldn't make that decision for him and my mum also agreed with that. Radiotherapy was never an option for him.
When my dad met the oncologist or his specialist, I was always there with him as that is what he wanted. He also told me that I could ask any questions that I wanted of the doc's and raise any issues that I thought needed to be discussed. Also, when the docs would ask dad something and he would answer, he also told me to mention things that he may have forgoten to say in his answers, or if dad was just wrong in what he was telling them. I dont know if this approach would be suitable for everyone, but it is the way that my dad wanted to handle things. And doing things this way meant that he could ask me what was discussed etc if he forgot something at a later date, which he does quite a bit. It also makes it easier when we go to see his local GP or the GP's at his day care if I know what was discussed etc with his specialists.
I also very much agree with what the others have said regarding taking notes and having questions prepared and ready to ask. The information can seem overwhelming as Marion points out. Again going back to my dads situation, sometimes he seemed like he wasn't taking the information in, especially if the news wasn't great, so it helps to have someone else there who can take it all in.
Hope some of the helps.
Best wishes to you and your mum.
Any advice or comments I give are based on personal experiences and knowledge and are my opinions only, they are not to be substituted for professional medical advice. Please seek professional advice from a qualified doctor or medical professional.