• Registered: Mon, 23 Nov 2009
  • Posts: 4

Topic: It does not seem over

It has been 1 month and 2 days since my sister passed. It all happened so fast. Even though I knew what the ending would be, no one can prepare for the day when it comes. I was with her the night before. She got out of breath easily, and was a bit confused at times because of the pain meds. On Nov 26th, 7am I got a call saying things look bad. She was gone before any of us got there. I'll never forget holding her 18 yr old in the hospital parking lot. While she cryed and screamed "Why? Its not fair", while tears were streaming down my own face and I was seeing pain on my husbands face watching us. Or the sounds of her 8 and 11 yr old when we gave them time alone with their mother. The sounds of their crying riped threw my heart. I havent delt much with my own feelings yet. I have moments where its like painful anguish hits so hard. I still have her voice on my answering machine. Her 18 yr old is now living in our house. The younger 2 are at my brothers house. Tonight all 3 are here with my family. Its nice, but painful at the same time. I want to make it so the kids can be together as much as possible. I keep thinking the busier I am helping, my grief will ease. But its not. This is the first type of cancer to enter my familys life. Its unbelievable how fast its torn things apart. It caused the loss of a strong willed and minded woman of 46 yrs. A mother of 3. A sister to 5. A daughter. An aunt to many and an x-wife to 2. The list could go on. Everything goes on. Thats why I still do not feel its over.

2 Reply by tiapatty (edited by tiapatty Tue, 29 Dec 2009 00:49:40)

  • From: Chicago, IL
  • Registered: Sun, 15 Jun 2008
  • Posts: 710

Re: It does not seem over

Kristi,

I can hear the pain in your voice and I am so sorry she is gone. Cancer is a thief, it steals life, vitality, laughter and leaves a hole where all of those things were. I think when something happens so fast it is hard to process, it seems surreal.

Your sister's children are much too young to lose their mother but they are lucky to have you, a loving aunt who also misses their mom. You all have a lot of healing to do, stay close and take care of each other. And visit us here when you feel the need.

Patty

tiapatty's Website

  • From: Shawnee, Kansas
  • Registered: Thu, 27 Mar 2008
  • Posts: 130

Re: It does not seem over

I can feel your pain.  My sister's cancer was the first to enter our family.  It took her in 10 months.  She was 42.  She has a 16 and 14 year old.  She is also a sister to 5 and an ex-wife and was married at the time she passed. 

It's devastating.  It has been 11 months since she passed.  It is not one bit easier.  But you find a way to manage.  I cried on my way to work today.  I stayed with her for 9 days and nights until she passed right before my eyes. 

Your heart is broken...but the kids will heal you a little.  My sister's kids are a constant reminder of her every time I look at them.  That's why God gave us them.  To keep her alive.  Take care of yourself.

tanoland's Website

  • From: Manchester,England
  • Registered: Mon, 03 Aug 2009
  • Posts: 328

Re: It does not seem over

Kristi,

So very very sorry. Sending you strength to continue, your sister lives on not just in her children but also deep in your heart.

Katie

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  • From: Phoenix AZ
  • Registered: Fri, 13 Jan 2006
  • Posts: 8,213

Re: It does not seem over

Kristi, please accept our deepest sympathies along with our Prayers to you and your family.

Teddy ~In our hearts forever~ATTITUDE is EVERYTHING
Any suggestion I offer is intended as friendly advice based solely on my own experience. Please consult your doctor for professional guidance.
  • From: London
  • Registered: Fri, 28 Aug 2009
  • Posts: 1,058

Re: It does not seem over

I'm so, so, so sorry, Kristi.  How are you today??  My thoughts are with you & your whole family.

Julia x

Missing my lovely sister ...

"When it gets dark enough, you can see the stars" - Lee Salk

Lalupes's Website

  • From: Wisconsin
  • Registered: Sun, 07 Sep 2008
  • Posts: 1,990

Re: It does not seem over

Kristi,

I too am so sorry for your loss.  My thoughts are with you and the family.  The world has lost another wonderful person.

Darla

"One Day At A Time"