1 (edited by leia Mon, 16 Jul 2007 00:02:22)

Topic: Hi there. My 80 y.o. father apparently has this form of cancer

Hi there.  My 80 y.o. father apparently has this forum of cancer.  When I spoke to his PCP last week (I'm in California - my parents are in the Midwest) the doctor said what kind of cancer it was and I jotted it down (phonetically) and then Googled the name and found this board.

First, my mom was told it was a 6 mm liver tumor (she's 69 and something may have been lost in translation).

What I now understand is that it's an 11 cm tumor that's located (they think) on the biliary tree and perhaps part of the pancreas.

I guess none of that really matters in his case because he is so debilitated from diabetes that he doesn't want to go with any kind of treatment.  He's nearly blind and almost deaf and had a quadruple by-pass six years ago.  He's tired . . . so tired.

They had suggested three possible options but he has decided to go with hospice. 

We just found out about this July 5 and sad to say - his condition has worsened a great deal since then and I think a lot of it is due to his mental state. 


I don't know how much I'll be posting here but I have been reading here quite a bit the last few days and I'm really appreciative of the fact that this site exists.  Thank you. 

I'm going back there to help out this week and won't have computer access but I wish all of you and your family members well. 

I'm not sure what these next few months will be like.  To be perfectly honest, I'm afraid because I've never been in the caregiver role before.  I'm aggravated with myself for feeling so uneasy and fearful and I'm hoping I can pull myself together to be a good support person for both of my parents during this time. 

Thanks again for this site.

Re: Hi there. My 80 y.o. father apparently has this form of cancer


You'll be great.  You'll cry and you'll be nervous and you'll do things you never thought you would be able to do, but in the end you will probably find that you just couldn't do enough for this person you love so much.  It's wonderful to know that our capacity to serve others is increased as their need increases. 

I remember the last night I spent with my brother, Mark.  I stayed up all night with him and he wanted to move around the room every hour or so.  He could barely walk and I was so nervous that he would fall and I wouldn't be able to help him, but I couldn't tell him no, I just couldn't.  I  prayed and asked God to help me and he did.  It was a very long night, but this is one of my most cherished memories now.


Re: Hi there. My 80 y.o. father apparently has this form of cancer

I am sure you will have the strength to handle this. And if not, just get online and post here. This is a wonderful community and we are here not only to get information for ourselves, but to offer ourselves as support to other members in need. So if things get too much or you have questions, come here and someone will come along and answer your questions and offer advice and the support you need. You will be heading into a difficult period for you and your family. You will need to be strong, but remember to take care of yourself as well.


Cancer is a word, not a sentence.

36 year old patient with buckets of hope