• From: Hibbing, MN
  • Registered: Thu, 17 Apr 2008
  • Posts: 198

Topic: Remembering JeffG

It doesn't seem a year has gone by since Jeff left us.  I think of him often.  I remember when I first came to this site, completely in distress because my dad had just received this diagnosis.  I was a lurker for most of the time, reading everyone's entries as though they knew my story, my pain, my dread and my hope.  I remembering Jeff's entries vividly, because they were full of such experience, and helpful suggestions.  I felt as though at last, I knew what my family and I were up against.  And I remember the kindness with which he offered his sympathies when my dad died 21 months ago.

I remember the love in his words as he spoke of his family.  The joy his grandchildren gave him, the pride he felt of his children, and the deep love, respect and admiration he held for his wife.  Jeff was truly a great man, an admirable advocate for both patient and caregiver, and now a shining star in God's heaven.

In this time since my dad, and Jeff, have gone on, I have noticed so many new patients and caregivers on this site.  I hear the angst in their stories, and remember, too well, that feeling.  I'm glad for all on this panel who answer their distress~and can only think that Jeff is smiling down on each and everyone of you.

To Jeff's family, if you are stopping by today, know that we care about you and miss Jeff, too.

To Jeff~please say hi to my dad...he's the one smiling brightly with his beautiful bride by his side now.

Peace,
Jolene

"Faith in something greater than ourselves enables us to do what we have said we'll do, to press forward when we are tired or hurt or afraid, to keep going when the challenge seems overwhelming and the course is entirely uncertain."     ~g. b. hinckley

2 Reply by Katieloumatt (edited by Katieloumatt Thu, 06 May 2010 13:14:31)

  • From: Manchester,England
  • Registered: Mon, 03 Aug 2009
  • Posts: 328

Re: Remembering JeffG

Jolene,

What truly lovely, heartfelt words. I never 'knew' Jeff but he has left a legacy on here. His name being mentioned often. What a tribute to his family.

Katie

  • Lainy
  • Lainy
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  • From: Phoenix AZ
  • Registered: Fri, 13 Jan 2006
  • Posts: 8,219

Re: Remembering JeffG

Jolene, eloquently  said!

Hi Jeff, I know you loved a good joke but today no jokes, its about you and how much we miss you. I met you 4 years ago and you got me through those first couple of years, could not have done it without you. We have lots of newbies and I know you are chomping at the bits to help. How about just send us some heavenly hugs and we will send same back to you! Miss you and we love you and thoughts also go out to your family, who we got to know.  Every night there is the brightest of stars in the sky and we know you are just swinging on one of them. Rest peacefully, my friend.

Teddy ~In our hearts forever~ATTITUDE is EVERYTHING
Any suggestion I offer is intended as friendly advice based solely on my own experience. Please consult your doctor for professional guidance.
  • From: Wisconsin
  • Registered: Sun, 07 Sep 2008
  • Posts: 1,990

Re: Remembering JeffG

Well said Jolene & you too Lainy.  All I can add is that he meant a lot to all of us and helped so many.  He is well remembered and greatly missed.  I know he is smiling down on us all. RIP Jeff.

"One Day At A Time"
  • From: Shawnee, Kansas
  • Registered: Thu, 27 Mar 2008
  • Posts: 130

Re: Remembering JeffG

Jeff was one of the first people to talk to me on here.  I was so inspired by his positive attitude and just prayed that my sister had the same.  Unfortunately she did not .  We tried so hard to help her feel that way.  I was also just shocked he was from Kansas as I we are too.  I just felt a connection.  I used his story to inspire my sister.  He passed after my sister.  I was glad I did not have to tell her that he had been taken by that cancer.  I have a deep sadness for all of the members of this board who has lost someone or has been taken by this monstrous disease.  I will be checking this board until the day I go to be with Shirley.  Thank you all for your posts and friendship.

Teresa:)

tanoland's Website

  • Gavin
  • Gavin
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  • From: Scotland - Dundee
  • Registered: Tue, 23 Sep 2008
  • Posts: 4,832

Re: Remembering JeffG

I remember a while after my dads diagnosis and also after a few of my first posts here. I went through a rough patch and hadn't posted here for a bit and I guess that I was isolating away to a point. Well Jeff got in touch with me to see if I was okay and to see how my dad was and I can not thank him enough for that. He helped me out of that and through a rough patch and I will never ever be able to thank him enough for what he did for me. We went on to exchange many emails with each other and shared a ton of laughs together and I wish that I had the chance to meet him in person. What a great all round good guy.

Hi Jeff,

You helped so many of us in so many ways, more than you probably realise. Everything that you did for us all will never be forgotten and you are sorely missed by us all. RIP Jeff.

Gavin

  • From: London
  • Registered: Fri, 28 Aug 2009
  • Posts: 1,058

Re: Remembering JeffG

You left a wonderful, wonderful legacy here, Jeff.  I thank you so much for that.

Bless you & your family.
Julia

Missing my lovely sister ...

"When it gets dark enough, you can see the stars" - Lee Salk

Lalupes's Website

  • From: NSW,Australia
  • Registered: Sat, 14 Feb 2009
  • Posts: 557

Re: Remembering JeffG

Jeff was such a great bloke.He was always very sensible and no nonsense with his posts but very funny at times.I rememember how he loved The Eagles and I always think of him when I play them."Take it to the limit" was his signature.
I miss him,he was one of a kind                                     Janet

  • Lisa
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  • From: Stanwood, WA
  • Registered: Sat, 08 Sep 2007
  • Posts: 813

Re: Remembering JeffG

Jeff was a great guy.  I am sure he is watching over us and praying for us in Heaven.  We miss you!

Lisa's Website

  • Registered: Fri, 12 May 2006
  • Posts: 8,174

Re: Remembering JeffG

I agree with all.  He was one of a kind and he is still watching over us.

THIS INFORMATION IS NOT INTENDED NOR IMPLIED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR PROFESSIONAL MEDICAL ADVICE. YOU SHOULD ALWAYS SEEK THE ADVICE OF YOUR PHYSICIAN OR OTHER QUALIFIED HEALTH CARE PROVIDER
  • teresa
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  • Registered: Tue, 23 May 2006
  • Posts: 123

Re: Remembering JeffG

Hya jeff's family
if you have visited to have a look, Yes what a fantastic help he was to all of us.
It is but a short time when I came to this site after loosing Alan and it felt as if I had a thunderbolt dropped on me. Jeff you came to my rescue, not only me but everyone on this fantastic site.

U.K.Member
  • Registered: Fri, 30 Jul 2010
  • Posts: 32

Re: Remembering JeffG

I have only been on this site for a few weeks but spend a little time each day reading posts and members experiences.  JeffG got my attention quickly because of his fight with cc mets to bones and pain associated with it.  This is what my brother is dealing with (with a attitude much like Jeff's).  It took awhile before I realized that Jeff had passed.  I have read all of your comments about this wonderful man and could not agree more.  I feel there are some members who are taking over where Jeff left off and I say thank you to each and every one of you for the compassion, understanding and knowledge each of you bring to this great website.  I'm so very happy I found this site and honored to be part of the family.

God Bless you all, Victoria

  • Lainy
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  • From: Phoenix AZ
  • Registered: Fri, 13 Jan 2006
  • Posts: 8,219

Re: Remembering JeffG

Thank you Victoria for mentioning JeffG. He meant so much to us and we really miss him. When Teddy was first diagnosed Jeff led me to do all the right things and I thanked him by sending him jokes. Jeff was a true gentleman and a very knowledgable and caring person. If you are listening Jeff, sending you much love.

Teddy ~In our hearts forever~ATTITUDE is EVERYTHING
Any suggestion I offer is intended as friendly advice based solely on my own experience. Please consult your doctor for professional guidance.
  • JeffG
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  • From: Kansas
  • Registered: Mon, 16 Oct 2006
  • Posts: 1,242

Re: Remembering JeffG

Hello everyone,

Rachael again JeffG daughter. Pretty tired tonight but for some reason I was drawn to this website. When I clicked the link guess who was the faces of cholangiocarcinoma?? My daddy! Since I haven't been on here in so long I didn't think I remembered the password but, I got it right on the first try! The 1st anniversary of my dad's passing as come and gone soo quickly. I'm not too proud of how my family handled it but, I know everything happens for a reason.
I think I am on here tonight to seek advice and guidance. I only talk to a few close friends because I try not to burden everyone else. I feel so overwhelmed with life and I'm trying so hard to stay strong but it seems like the only ones I can stay strong enough for are my two little babies. Pierceton and Brooklyn...
The sad part is they have seen me cry way too much in the last year and I really need to find more strength!
Can anyone help me?
With Love,
Rachael
(Missing you forever daddy... my best friend)

Take it to the Limit,One More Time! (Eagles)
  • Registered: Fri, 12 May 2006
  • Posts: 8,174

Re: Remembering JeffG

Oh Rachel....it warms my heart to hear from you.  A few days ago, while scrolling through my cell phone, your Dad's number appeared.  To this date I have not removed it.   
Rachel, you have come to the right place.  We can only begin to return to you the appreciation and gratefulness your Dad deserves from the members on this site. 
So there, a big hug is coming your way.  Together we will get through this.
Hugs
Marion

THIS INFORMATION IS NOT INTENDED NOR IMPLIED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR PROFESSIONAL MEDICAL ADVICE. YOU SHOULD ALWAYS SEEK THE ADVICE OF YOUR PHYSICIAN OR OTHER QUALIFIED HEALTH CARE PROVIDER
  • From: New Jersey
  • Registered: Tue, 20 Nov 2007
  • Posts: 306

Re: Remembering JeffG

Dear Rachael,
My darling husband Rob passed very close to your Daddy's passing.  This has been such a painful journey for all of us...everyone who has loved the passed person.  I so feel your pain and suffering as Rob was also my best friend...my everything.  I offer to you my support and comfort, prayers for an acceptance in Jeff's transcendance.  And I don't believe crying is a bad thing...it helps to cleanse us.  Peace to you Rachael.
Karen

Wishing all God's blessings!
  • Lainy
  • Lainy
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  • From: Phoenix AZ
  • Registered: Fri, 13 Jan 2006
  • Posts: 8,219

Re: Remembering JeffG

Dearest Rachel, so often I still think of your dad, and you know he is still very much around. Just the other day I recommended that someone go to the JeffG
Posts to find out about something and then not too long ago I mentioned how he was my mentor and got me through those first few years with my husband's CC. He is truly in the hearts of many. We are here to help if we can, that is the very least we can do for a man who did so much for many.

Teddy ~In our hearts forever~ATTITUDE is EVERYTHING
Any suggestion I offer is intended as friendly advice based solely on my own experience. Please consult your doctor for professional guidance.
  • Registered: Fri, 29 Sep 2006
  • Posts: 466

Re: Remembering JeffG

Rachael,
   Your Dad was such a special guy, it's understandable that you still miss him and always will. Anyone that was lucky enough to know him, even here in cyberspace, misses him dearly. Grieving is a long hard process and everyone handles things differently. I know that if I lose my husband who is also my very best friend that I will probably cry for years, in fact I sometimes cry now just thinking about it! So crying is not a bad thing unless you are feeling so blue that it is affecting your ability to function and take care of your babies,etc. You may just need some counseling or join a support group so that you can talk to people who understand. Close friends are great but unless they have been through this it really is hard to fully comprehend the sadness you are feeling. Please feel free to come here and vent or cry or ask for help in any way. I hope things do get better. I guess we all just have to take things one day at a time!   Take care, Mary

  • Registered: Sun, 20 Jul 2008
  • Posts: 3

Re: Remembering JeffG

I also would like to express sincere appreciation for Jeff and his selfless willingness to help others.  Like Jolene,  I also joined the site in the spring of 2008 after my father was diagnosed.  I also was a "lurker" with the exception of a couple inquiries.  And as so many others have shared, Jeff was the first to promptly respond in detail with his experiences, advice and concern.  My father passed away nearly four months later in 2008 and the loss of my amazing father continues to be tremendously felt in so many ways. 

Today is the first I checked back with the board since then.  I immediately did a search to see how Jeff was doing and came across all of these tributes to his leadership and kindness.  It's obvious that his kind posts continue to help others navigate through this difficult journey.

-Margaret

  • From: Hooper, Utah
  • Registered: Mon, 12 Sep 2011
  • Posts: 199

Re: Remembering JeffG

Hi Margaret.  As one of those "newbies", I look forward to hearing more about Jeff and yourself. Perhaps I'll do a search and find out what a grand person he was. Continue your journey, Margaret, and know there is always love and support here.

-Byron

-Byron

"Pull down your hat, strap on your spurs, and tighten the cinch. Let's ride this mustang."
  • Lainy
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  • Registered: Fri, 13 Jan 2006
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Re: Remembering JeffG

Hello Margaret, nice to hear from you and hope you are doing well. JeffG is missed by us all. He was also the first for me when Teddy was diagnosed in August of 2005. He was a brilliant, kind, charming and funny man. We used to exchange jokes by e mail. I learned so much from him and I know I would have never made it through without the help of Jeff and Marion. Every once in a while it is so nice to remember those that have passed. Take care and best wishes.

Your Father, through your memories
                             Will never leave you. 
You will feel his tender care from now on
         As a warm serenity in your heart.
Hoping you always feel the encouragement
         Of his love, and hold in memory
All the happy times you spent together

Teddy ~In our hearts forever~ATTITUDE is EVERYTHING
Any suggestion I offer is intended as friendly advice based solely on my own experience. Please consult your doctor for professional guidance.
  • Registered: Fri, 12 May 2006
  • Posts: 8,174

Re: Remembering JeffG

Margaret.....Our JeffG was a hero to us all.  I agree with you; Jeff's wisdom, kindness, and caring will continue to guide us forever.  He will never be forgotten.
Margaret, I don't believe that we will ever get over the loss of our loved ones.  My husband passed away in 2007 and not one day goes by without my thinking of him.  The pain has lessoned, the memories have become my treasures, but nothing has filled the hole left in my heart.
All my best wishes,
Marion

THIS INFORMATION IS NOT INTENDED NOR IMPLIED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR PROFESSIONAL MEDICAL ADVICE. YOU SHOULD ALWAYS SEEK THE ADVICE OF YOUR PHYSICIAN OR OTHER QUALIFIED HEALTH CARE PROVIDER
  • From: Wisconsin
  • Registered: Sun, 07 Sep 2008
  • Posts: 1,990

Re: Remembering JeffG

Well said Marion and oh so true.

Love & Hugs,
Darla

"One Day At A Time"
  • Registered: Fri, 12 May 2006
  • Posts: 8,174

Re: Remembering JeffG

Hi Darla....it always is nice for you to pop in on us.
Hugs
Marion

THIS INFORMATION IS NOT INTENDED NOR IMPLIED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR PROFESSIONAL MEDICAL ADVICE. YOU SHOULD ALWAYS SEEK THE ADVICE OF YOUR PHYSICIAN OR OTHER QUALIFIED HEALTH CARE PROVIDER
  • Gavin
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  • From: Scotland - Dundee
  • Registered: Tue, 23 Sep 2008
  • Posts: 4,832

Re: Remembering JeffG

Just wanted to say that I totally and completely agree with everything that has been said about Jeff. He made such a positive impact on us all, was always there for everyone and nothing was too much trouble for him no matter what he was going through himself. He is sorely missed and will never ever be forgotten.

Gavin