• From: New Bern, North Carolina
  • Registered: Tue, 30 Sep 2008
  • Posts: 684

Topic: Feeling down today.....

This has been a really tough weekend.  The good news is my beloved son (in whom I am well pleased) graduated from Elon School of Law this past Sunday.  The saddest news is that his Grandmother was not there to take part in all of the ceremonies. 

My son was in his Grandmother's office one day and was telling her he was not really challenged by working in the insurance/financial planning industry.  She mentioned the new law school in Greensboro and that maybe he should think about a law degree.  He said it might be interesting.  She opened her desk drawer and handed him the application.  There were over 800 applicants for the 117 spaces.  My son was accepted and 3 years later received his J.D. on Sunday afternoon.

I do believe my Mom had the best seat in the theatre on Sunday but I feel cheated she was not sitting by me cheering her grandson.  After the ceremony as we got ready to return home to New Bern, I went to the cemetary and placed HER Ticket to the ceremony on her grave.

It still astounds me how much this monster of a disease can infiltrate our lives and happiness.  The sadness has abated for the most part but I'm still blindsided by grief every now and then. 

Ahhh.....the journey still continues.....

Hugs to all,
Pam

My Mom lost her one year battle with CC on April 3, 2009.

"A prognosis is simply an audit of how truly precious each day is.  Live each day to the maximum, celebrate what was, and what is - Don't spend your life looking forward to what will or might be." .... words of wisdom from my beloved son on hearing of his grandmother's CC prognosis.
  • Lainy
  • Lainy
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  • From: Phoenix AZ
  • Registered: Fri, 13 Jan 2006
  • Posts: 8,315

Re: Feeling down today.....

Dear Pam, you know how much I also believe that your Mom had the best seat in the house. I think there is a lot of your Mom in you as you always sound like such a caring and loving person. It is wonderful the way things keep moving forward that she instigated. How proud you all must be about your son and thank you for sharing that with us.

Teddy ~In our hearts forever~ATTITUDE is EVERYTHING
Any suggestion I offer is intended as friendly advice based solely on my own experience. Please consult your doctor for professional guidance.
  • Walk
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  • From: NC
  • Registered: Fri, 07 Nov 2008
  • Posts: 180

Re: Feeling down today.....

Hi Pam,

I understand being blindsided by grief. My daughter had her first dance recital this weekend and one of the groups danced to Daddy's Little Girl and I thought I was going to have to leave the auditorium.

I hope that you can feel your Mom's presence as much as I feel my Dad's. When I think back on "last year this time" I know that my father had ceased to be himself and it makes it easier to move to happier memories of earlier times. I know he is watching over us and that gives me comfort, but I do so understand how our wishes to have them here can be overwhelming.

I received an email from a friend today. Her partner is battling ovarian cancer. No treatment has worked and now, in addition to lymph node mets, she had lung and liver mets. Cancer is so unfair. This woman is 45 years old.

Take care and know that everything your son accomplishes in his new career is your mother living on in him.

Jan

4 Reply by Darla (edited by Darla Tue, 25 May 2010 09:24:00)

  • From: Wisconsin
  • Registered: Sun, 07 Sep 2008
  • Posts: 1,996

Re: Feeling down today.....

Pam,

Congratulations to your son on his accomplishment.  I too know that Grandma was there with all of you and so proud of him.  My son got his masters degree a few months after Jim passed away and we all felt his presence there with us that day and on many other occasions.  Yes, Pam the sadness comes and goes and it does blindside us at times and is very overwhleming, but know that our loved ones are always with us in spirit.  In the love that we shared with them and in our hearts and our memories.  All of us who have lost a loved one to this disease are traveling this journey of grieving together. Each at our own pace and our own time, but together.

Take care Pam and thanks for sharing your feelings with all of us.  It is good to know that we are not alone.

Love & Hugs,
Darla

"One Day At A Time"
  • From: South Elgin, IL (near Chicago)
  • Registered: Fri, 12 Mar 2010
  • Posts: 303

Re: Feeling down today.....

Pam,

What a great accomplishment for your son (and you)!  And a wonderful story to share with your family for a long, long time.  Your mother was certainly there with everyone else cheering your son on with a great big smile.

Take care and remember that the memories will always be there and will mellow with age.  She will always be in your heart.

Linda Z.

"Life is not about waiting for the storms to pass...
it's about learning how to dance in the rain."
  • From: New Bern, North Carolina
  • Registered: Tue, 30 Sep 2008
  • Posts: 684

Re: Feeling down today.....

Thank you all for your caring and compassionate responses.  You will never know how much you helped me this week....

Hugs to you all....
Pam

My Mom lost her one year battle with CC on April 3, 2009.

"A prognosis is simply an audit of how truly precious each day is.  Live each day to the maximum, celebrate what was, and what is - Don't spend your life looking forward to what will or might be." .... words of wisdom from my beloved son on hearing of his grandmother's CC prognosis.
  • From: New Bern, North Carolina
  • Registered: Tue, 30 Sep 2008
  • Posts: 684

Re: Feeling down today.....

Had to add the final ending to this post.  On Saturday my son got his official letter from the State of North Carolina telling him he passed the Bar Exam on his first attempt.

I am so proud of my son but after his phone call my first thought was to call my Mom.  I called Daddy and gave him the good news.  After we talked and hung up the tears began to fall. 

Once again I am blindsided by grief and angry about all the things my Mom should be here to experience.

I know she knows and is cheering him and me from heaven but it's still hard since I miss her so much....

Ah well....the journey continues....

Pam

My Mom lost her one year battle with CC on April 3, 2009.

"A prognosis is simply an audit of how truly precious each day is.  Live each day to the maximum, celebrate what was, and what is - Don't spend your life looking forward to what will or might be." .... words of wisdom from my beloved son on hearing of his grandmother's CC prognosis.
  • Registered: Fri, 12 May 2006
  • Posts: 8,314

Re: Feeling down today.....

Pam.... My husband practiced law for over 35 years and within this time we employed numerous law clerks, who did not pass the bar exam on the first try.  I congratulate you on your son's accomplishments.  Grandma knew it and your son proved it.
Do you know which area of law he will practice in?
Best wishes,
Marion

THIS INFORMATION IS NOT INTENDED NOR IMPLIED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR PROFESSIONAL MEDICAL ADVICE. YOU SHOULD ALWAYS SEEK THE ADVICE OF YOUR PHYSICIAN OR OTHER QUALIFIED HEALTH CARE PROVIDER
  • Lainy
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  • From: Phoenix AZ
  • Registered: Fri, 13 Jan 2006
  • Posts: 8,315

Re: Feeling down today.....

Congratulations, Pam, what a wonderful achievement, I can tell the pride in your Post. I hope the sun came out because it was probably your Mom bursting at the seams!

Teddy ~In our hearts forever~ATTITUDE is EVERYTHING
Any suggestion I offer is intended as friendly advice based solely on my own experience. Please consult your doctor for professional guidance.