My mother was also told her cc was inoperable, but I was in the room with her and the oncologist when she was told that, and I was armed with facts and ideas from my research and from this board. When I questioned the dr., he said there were too many tumors and they affected both lobes of the liver. When I asked how many tumors, he said "uncountable - maybe hundreds, or thousands." So there went all our hope out the window. It could also be inoperable because of her age, the state of her health in general, or the location of the tumors. Also, if it has metastasized to other areas, they usually won't do a resection because there's no point when the cancer is already invading other areas.
It's usually a slow-growing cancer and they made my mother wait a month also. I tried everything to get her an earlier appt., but everyone was just booked up. Though it's slow-growing, if there is ANY hope then I believe it's best to see the doc as soon as possible--just like with any other cancer, time can be of the essence. Unfortunately, wtih cc, diagnosis usually comes when the patient is already Stage IV and there are only palliative measures available.
Sorry to be so brutal - please understand that your grandmother's situation can be very different from what I'm describing. I can sympathize with your frustration because it will be very difficult to get her to divulge anything or go along with your wishes. My own grandmother, who is 90, is driving me crazy in the same way - though she doesn't have cc. It's hard to balance your need to help her with your need to respect her wishes. But you can't force her to do anything - if she's like my grandmother, strong, independent and stoic, then she's an immovable force and you shouldn't feel guilty if you can't get through to her. Just try to be there for her and help her as much as possible and let her know that she is loved. I'm sure you're already doing those things, as you obviously love her dearly. But sometimes that's the most important thing of all.
Best of luck to you and your grandmother, and I hope you have some good news and some hope coming your way soon. Best wishes and best of luck to you,