Topic: sometimes feel like nobody understands.....

I stumbled upon this website and I'm glad that I did.  I can relate to alot of what people are feeling when they lose someone dear to them.  Although sometimes I feel like no one at all understands.  I lost my dad in June and we didn't have a long distance relationship like some people I know.  The ones that don't have a relationship with their parents are the ones trying to give me advice on how to handle my grief.  What a joke.  They see their parents once a year.  I had a very close relationship with my dad.  He was in my life every day.  He worried about me every day.  I saw him everyday and he even called me every day.   I feel like no one understands how I feel.  Everyone has said it'll get easier welll its not.   Or does it have to get worse before it gets easier.  Thank you for this opportunity to say whats on my mind.

Re: sometimes feel like nobody understands.....

Dearest Annette, I will not say to you that it gets easier, but I do say in time the grief "changes positions" and that dad's don't really leave us behind. There will come a time when you will feel him all around you, as I do mine. Please feel free to visit with us any time and feel free to say what ever you feel like saying. It is wonderful that you and your father had such a loving relationship and you are both very lucky to have had that because as you say so many people never have a chance like that.


Re: sometimes feel like nobody understands.....


I am glad you found this site too.   Everyone here really does know & understand.

Those other people have no idea of how it feels and have no right to tell you how to deal with your grief.  Everyone's situation is unique and everyone has to grieve in their own way and time.  It will never be the same, but life will go on and you will be OK. It will get worse before it gets better.  There will be a lot of ups & downs. Life will never be the same and you don't have to get over it.  I don't think it ever really goes away, we just learn better how to live with it and try to go on.   You were very lucky to have the kind of loving relationship you had with your Dad and that is what makes losing him even harder to cope with.  As Lainy said, he is still all around you, watching over you.  Please come here any time.  We are all here to help & support each other.

Love & Hugs,

"One Day At A Time"

All of my comments and suggestions are just my opinions and are not a substitute for professional medical advice.   You should always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care providers.

Re: sometimes feel like nobody understands.....

Hey Annette,

I am so sorry to hear that your Dad is no longer with us.  June is only a little time ago, although I would never presume to tell you 'how to' grieve, it sounds as though the grief you feel is natural and normal.  My Dad also has a terminal CC - we are very close too, and I think this experience has made me realise how lucky and unusual it is to have such a close father/ daughter bond.  That's what I try to focus on when I feel sadness and fear about the future, but I'm sure that like you I will feel totally blindsided when the time comes for him to pass on.  I think some people are scared of seeing people grieve and be sad, perhaps your friends are trying to offer you advice because they're not sure what else to do and they feel helpless? Perhaps you could try telling them that you need them to listen and support rather than tell you how you ought to be feeling?  Otherwise keep posting on here, it makes such a difference to be able to talk honestly and openly with other people going through the same stuff.  I'll be thinking of you, and hoping that things are getting slowly easier for you now. The death of someone as beloved as your Daddy will take time to process, it must be so dark and difficult for you right now, but I wish you all the best and lots of strength to get through this. xx