Topic: I just want to talk to someone who understands....do you??
My husband is away for work and so I am alone for the next week....not good. I hate being alone b/c that is when I think the most and relive everything. As I lay here in bed tonight I am thinking how crazy it is that our lives are filled with so many years and months and days and seconds but the minute tragedy strikes our lives are no longer divided into days and months and years but now "before mom got sick" and "after mom got sick". Everything, no matter how small will fit into one of these categories forever.
Mom started a journal when she got sick and wrote in it for almost 2 weeks until she was no longer able to write straight. I read that journal whenever I am alone. I know it will make me upset but at least then I will feel something, other than that I feel numb daily. It's been almost 2 years and it still kills me to hear my friends talk about their moms. When they fight with their moms I want to shake them and tell them to wake up and stop wasting their energy on such trivial stuff for one day, they will no longer have what I am so jealous of now. I don't really have a point to this post, I just wanted to vent to someone. To have someone tell me it will be okay. To have someone understand. To have someone......I hate being alone