If we had our time again, these are a few things we would have done/asked:
- Do not hesitate to ask each and every question that is playing on your mind - no matter how small or simple you might think that question is.
- Ask the tough questions. The answers may be frightening, but somehow it is easier to cope if you know exactly what it is that you are confronting.
- Don't let the doctors shirk the difficult questions, press them for honest answers. Don't let the doctors put you off. If the doctor says your loved one can't be seen for two weeks, and you're not satisfied with that, don't accept it - force the issue!
- In particular, ask questions about what you should be on the look out for and when you should bring your loved one in for medical attention. We were flying somewhat blind during Mum's illness and didn't have sufficient information to distinguish between symptoms that were part of the progression of her cancer and other symptoms that indicated something else entirely was happening (Mum developed a blood clot, and we had no idea that this was a risk or the symptoms to be on the look out for)
- If while caring for your loved one you sense something is going wrong, trust your instincts. If you feel that your loved one needs medical attention, do not hesitate to seek the help you need.
Hope that helps - my best wishes are with you.