• Pam
  • Champion
  • Offline
  • Registered: Fri, 11 Jun 2010
  • Posts: 292

Topic: My Dad

We enjoyed a few car rides last week.  Still haven't hired a sitter for three evenings.  Yesterday my dad had a short talk with me and told me his time was near.  I asked him how he knew and he just said he knows.  He said he wants us to take our time when we call for his body to be picked up.  He thinks we rushed my mom's, but a nurse found she had died in her sleep and the wheels turned pretty fast.  We all got to say a proper goodbye to her.  I could have defended that, but all  I could say was we would take good care of him. 

This was a profound conversation because my dad was just talking days ago about taking vitamins and minerals to give him some strength and questioned how long they would take to work. 

He is very confused and sleeps most of the time.  He is eating and drinking small amounts.  He can still get up to use the restroom but is very unsteady.  He is extremely jaundice and has lost over fifty pounds. 

I just love on him and tell him he might feel better after a little nap.  One nap turns into another.

  • From: Calgary, Canada
  • Registered: Sun, 07 Mar 2010
  • Posts: 361

Re: My Dad

Pam,

I'm so sorry to hear that he's not doing well, but he seems very much at peace with what is to come and I hope you also find peace in that.

Continue to enjoy this precious time, the car rides, and the conversations you have with him... those are the types of memories that will help to carry you through the tough times...

Thinking of you often...

Jen

  • From: Phoenix AZ
  • Registered: Fri, 13 Jan 2006
  • Posts: 8,219

Re: My Dad

Pam we are so near the same place in time. Teddy is not jaundiced but very pale. His skin is getting cool, sleeping more and more, can go to the bathroom but very shaky (tired) and eating very little. It sounds like your Dad wants you to make sure they don't take him too fast in case his time is really not over. Or maybe he wanted to have more time with your Mom before she was taken.
I also believe that people get a feeling when they know "time" is getting shorter.
Oops, I hear the little man loving about...got to run! Hang in!

Teddy ~In our hearts forever~ATTITUDE is EVERYTHING
Any suggestion I offer is intended as friendly advice based solely on my own experience. Please consult your doctor for professional guidance.
  • From: Mooresville Indiana
  • Registered: Wed, 20 Jun 2007
  • Posts: 202

Re: My Dad

Oh Pam,
What a wonderful daughter you are. I am so sorry that you are on this difficult journey. I know how hard it is. My mom passed away last year. We are all here for you. Sending lots of hugs your way.
Amy

  • From: Houston,Texas
  • Registered: Mon, 17 Aug 2009
  • Posts: 16

Re: My Dad

I'd like to ditto what Amy said.I too lost my mom on sept of last year.It was a rough journey but time well spent.Take care of yourself and many blessings to you! Corina

  • Pam
  • Champion
  • Offline
  • Registered: Fri, 11 Jun 2010
  • Posts: 292

Re: My Dad

Thank you all for your words of encouragement.  Today I heard the "death rattle". I know the sound because my mom experienced it before her death.  Hospice had given us secretion medication so I quickly gave him some.  He will be given it every four to six hours.  Even though I heard it several times this afternoon, my dad awoke to wanting ice cream and candy!  So of course he got it all!  He will get anything he wants from here on out.  My husband comes home on Friday and I hope my dad makes it until then. Luckily my brother in law came home this evening.  My dad seems to do better around guys.  We have double beds set up in the room so BIL will stay with him.  We will see what tomorrow
brings.  His Hospice nurse will see him tomorrow and will have more information for us, for sure.

  • From: Phoenix AZ
  • Registered: Fri, 13 Jan 2006
  • Posts: 8,219

Re: My Dad

Pam we are thinking about you and about what you are going through. Wish I could tell your Dad to look for Teddy! I hope it all goes peacefully and know we are sending prayers.

Teddy ~In our hearts forever~ATTITUDE is EVERYTHING
Any suggestion I offer is intended as friendly advice based solely on my own experience. Please consult your doctor for professional guidance.
  • From: Manchester,England
  • Registered: Mon, 03 Aug 2009
  • Posts: 328

Re: My Dad

Pam,

Just to say my thoughts are with you at this very difficult time. Sending strength and peace to you.

Katie

  • Gavin
  • Gavin
  • Moderator
  • Offline
  • From: Scotland - Dundee
  • Registered: Tue, 23 Sep 2008
  • Posts: 4,832

Re: My Dad

Dear Pam,

My thoughts are with you right now as you go through time this with your dad. It is just under a year since I was in the same position with my dad so I can so relate to what you are going through right now. I wish you strength, courage and hope everything goes peacefully.

Thinking of you right now.

Gavin

  • From: Cape Town, South Africa
  • Registered: Mon, 09 Mar 2009
  • Posts: 155

Re: My Dad

Dearest Pam

But 9 days ago, i was where you are, i feel your pain and i share your journey.  These days are so precious, my dad believed he would be healed to the end but was very ready to go, this gave us a sense of peace.  the death rattle is so unsettling, we lost soon  dad after, you dad is a fighter and though we thought that my dad would be released on 2 occasions before his death in that same week, he went on his terms when he was ready, quietly on his own, mum had left the room for 5 minutes!

We also, took our time when it came to letting go of his body, we did it when we were ready, some 4 or 5 hours later.....

I wish you strength and am with you in thought and prayer.

lots of love and a big hug.

Michelle

"My dad, Tony, passed away on 4 October 2010, after a 19 month battle with CC"   - I carry you in my heart, Dad, forever.
  • From: New Bern, North Carolina
  • Registered: Tue, 30 Sep 2008
  • Posts: 683

Re: My Dad

Oh Pam,

My heart goes out to you.   This is such a bittersweet, precious time.  I'm so glad you have hospice with you.  I remember that rattle as being such a horrible thing but the meds hospice gave us worked extremely well.

I know you are so tired but you are giving your Dad the most wonderful gift of love.  You are indeed an amazing daughter and will be the best legacy your parents leave behind. 

I will be thinking of you and am sending love, hugs and prayers.

Pam

My Mom lost her one year battle with CC on April 3, 2009.

"A prognosis is simply an audit of how truly precious each day is.  Live each day to the maximum, celebrate what was, and what is - Don't spend your life looking forward to what will or might be." .... words of wisdom from my beloved son on hearing of his grandmother's CC prognosis.
  • From: Calgary, Canada
  • Registered: Sun, 07 Mar 2010
  • Posts: 361

Re: My Dad

I'm at a loss for words right now, but please know I am thinking and praying for you and for your father... you are an incredible daughter and I'm sure your Dad is incredibly proud of you.  I wish you both peace in the days to come....

Jen

  • Walk
  • All-Star
  • Offline
  • From: NC
  • Registered: Fri, 07 Nov 2008
  • Posts: 180

Re: My Dad

Pam,

I can only echo what others have said. It was a little over a year ago that I was in your shoes. You are indeed providing something precious and invaluable for your father and yourself. I pray for your continued strength.

Jan

  • Registered: Fri, 12 May 2006
  • Posts: 8,174

Re: My Dad

Pam...I am wishing for love, strengths, and serenity coming your way.
Hugs
Marion

THIS INFORMATION IS NOT INTENDED NOR IMPLIED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR PROFESSIONAL MEDICAL ADVICE. YOU SHOULD ALWAYS SEEK THE ADVICE OF YOUR PHYSICIAN OR OTHER QUALIFIED HEALTH CARE PROVIDER
  • From: Cape Town, South Africa
  • Registered: Mon, 09 Mar 2009
  • Posts: 155

Re: My Dad

Hi Pam

We have not heard from you in a while, I am thinking of you and your dad,

with love and strength

Michelle

"My dad, Tony, passed away on 4 October 2010, after a 19 month battle with CC"   - I carry you in my heart, Dad, forever.
  • kimmie
  • kimmie
  • Senior Member
  • Offline
  • From: Maryland
  • Registered: Sun, 09 Aug 2009
  • Posts: 110

Re: My Dad

Ditto what Michelle said - thinking of you Pam.

~Kim
my mother lost her 16 month battle with CC 9/26/10
"Mothers have as powerful an influence over the welfare of future generations as all other earthly causes combined."

kimmie's Website

  • Pam
  • Champion
  • Offline
  • Registered: Fri, 11 Jun 2010
  • Posts: 292

Re: My Dad

Thank you, he is in a coma like state.  Has not woken up in two days.  Just mumbles and takes medicine.  He can not follow any directions.   He knows I am right here along side him.  I will take good care of him until the end.  Thank you

  • From: Mooresville Indiana
  • Registered: Wed, 20 Jun 2007
  • Posts: 202

Re: My Dad

Oh Pam,

I know how hard this is.  Sending lots of strength and love your way.  We are all here for you.

Love, Amy

  • From: Wisconsin
  • Registered: Sun, 07 Sep 2008
  • Posts: 1,990

Re: My Dad

Dear Pam,

I am so sorry for what you and your family are going through.  I have been following your posts, but it is so hard to know what to say.  It is so similar to what I went through with my husband in the end.  Just know that I am thinking of you and your family.  Your are a wonderful, supportive daughter and I am sure that your Dad knows you are there for him. Take care Pam.

With Lots of Love & Hugs,
Darla

"One Day At A Time"
  • kimmie
  • kimmie
  • Senior Member
  • Offline
  • From: Maryland
  • Registered: Sun, 09 Aug 2009
  • Posts: 110

Re: My Dad

Pam, many thoughts and prayers coming your way. 

Know that your Dad can hear you - talk to him.  That's what the hospice nurses told us, including my hospice nurse sister, but I didn't used to believe it.  When my Mom was in the state your Dad's in, we spoke to her a lot.  Mostly encouraging words that we would be ok, and she could let go and not to worry about us.  They're in that "transition phase" with one foot here and one foot in the next.  When an old family friend, who's a priest, came to bless her for what would be the last time, he said, "Bonita, I'm going to give you the Annointing of the Sick."  And my Mom, who hadn't said anything coherent in days, said, "I really appreciate that."  She heard.

~Kim
my mother lost her 16 month battle with CC 9/26/10
"Mothers have as powerful an influence over the welfare of future generations as all other earthly causes combined."

kimmie's Website

  • From: Calgary, Canada
  • Registered: Sun, 07 Mar 2010
  • Posts: 361

Re: My Dad

I'm so sorry Pam - please know that I am sending all my positive thoughts and prayers your way.  You Dad knows you are with him, and that will bring him peace and comfort in the days to come. 

Jen

  • From: New Bern, North Carolina
  • Registered: Tue, 30 Sep 2008
  • Posts: 683

Re: My Dad

Oh Pam,

These are such precious moments.  I'm sending prayers of strength for you and hugs.

Be strong,

Love,
Pam

My Mom lost her one year battle with CC on April 3, 2009.

"A prognosis is simply an audit of how truly precious each day is.  Live each day to the maximum, celebrate what was, and what is - Don't spend your life looking forward to what will or might be." .... words of wisdom from my beloved son on hearing of his grandmother's CC prognosis.
  • From: Phoenix AZ
  • Registered: Fri, 13 Jan 2006
  • Posts: 8,219

Re: My Dad

Dearest Pam, I had a feeling. What a strong, brave and wonderful daughter you are and will always be. Please tell dad to greet Teddy when he comes up to see him. You know Dad's never really leave their darling daughters, they just go into the next room. Our strongest Prayers and thoughts coming your way.

Teddy ~In our hearts forever~ATTITUDE is EVERYTHING
Any suggestion I offer is intended as friendly advice based solely on my own experience. Please consult your doctor for professional guidance.