1 (edited by kimmie Wed, 03 Nov 2010 18:01:17)

Topic: Books about grief?

I tried using the search function for this, but it was tough trying to go through all the results.  I thought it would be good to start a new thread...

After losing your loved one, what books and/or online resources have you read to help you understand and cope with your grief?  What do you particularly like or dislike about the book?

I haven't found anything yet (my Mom just died on 9/26) but I feel like I'm ready to get started on some reading.  I'm having trouble wrapping my brain around the fact that my mother is physically no longer on this earth.  How can it go on spinning without her here?  I'm also having trouble with the fact that my husband and close friends seem to forget, or just don't realize, that I am still totally grieving and will be for quite awhile.  My children (ages 9 and 11) are the only reason I get out of bed in the mornings.  I make sure their schedules are on the calendar and get them where they need to be.  I go through the motions.  But I'm often moody with the roller coaster of my emotions, and my husband keeps wondering if he's done something to piss me off.  Hello - my mother just died!  I don't blame them, no one can really grasp the depth of my sadness unless they've gone through a similar loss.  Sigh...

~Kim
my mother lost her 16 month battle with CC 9/26/10
"Mothers have as powerful an influence over the welfare of future generations as all other earthly causes combined."

Re: Books about grief?

Kimmie,

Believe me...I KNOW how you feel.  One of the things I did was page through my Mom's bible and read all of the verses she underlined.  She had also made notes there as well.  It was llike a small window into her world.

I still find it hard to believe that my grief  and loss doesn't seem to be paramount in other's minds.  To me, losing Mom is if it only just happened.  I've felt so alone at times in this journey with grief.  My poor husband has taken a lot from me.  I'm so lucky he puts up with me. 

Grief is the hardest job I've ever had but I think I'm progressing.  I know we'll all make it but it is truly a journey...

Hugs to all,
Pam

My Mom lost her one year battle with CC on April 3, 2009.

"A prognosis is simply an audit of how truly precious each day is.  Live each day to the maximum, celebrate what was, and what is - Don't spend your life looking forward to what will or might be." .... words of wisdom from my beloved son on hearing of his grandmother's CC prognosis.

Re: Books about grief?

Hi Gals. I know Hospice has some booklets on grief. That might help.

Teddy ~In our hearts forever~ATTITUDE is EVERYTHING
Any suggestion I offer is intended as friendly advice based solely on my own experience. Please consult your doctor for professional guidance.

Re: Books about grief?

Kimmie,
My husband died one year ago and I have been tremendously uplifted by some of the books I have read or listened to while in the car.  90 Minutes In Heaven by Don Piper was extraordinary!  I wish I had discovered it before Gary passed away so he could have read it also.  The first few chapters are the real heart of the book - they describe the author's vision of heaven.  It was such a comfort to me!  I also like anything written by Max Lucado and Joyce Meyer.  You don't have to be a religious person to gain hope, perspective and optimism from them.
Getting used to the fact that everyone else goes about their business while your world is shattered is one of the most difficult emotions I faced.  It does get better with time.  A bereavement group or counselor(and possibly some medication) helps as well.   Good luck...wishing you peace of mind.  Elaine

Live each day to the fullest

5 (edited by tiapatty Wed, 03 Nov 2010 21:15:52)

Re: Books about grief?

Kimmie,

Poetry has been very helpful for me, the Indian poet Rabindranath Tagore in particular, here are some poems from his work Gitanjali:

http://www.schoolofwisdom.com/history/t … gitanjali/

Cristina Rossetti also speaks to me, see:

http://www.poetryfoundation.org/bio/christina-rossetti

I also just got Mourning Diary by Roland Barthes, who writes of mourning his mother, see:

http://www.worldcat.org/title/mourning- … ef_results

Patty

Re: Books about grief?

Hi Kimmie

It seems like we are travelling a similar path, so alike and united in our grief, thanks for starting this thread, i am also needing some insight.

I know that my father is in a better place, but i miss him so much.  My brother dreamt of him the other night, and he related to me about how wonderful it was to see him.

I just wish i could dream of him, also.

I have started lighting a candle for him in my classroom and have his picture on my computer in classroom.

I am thinking of you, across the miles.


Love

Michelle

"My dad, Tony, passed away on 4 October 2010, after a 19 month battle with CC"   - I carry you in my heart, Dad, forever.

Re: Books about grief?

Thanks everyone.  It's somehow comforting to hear from people that know just how I am feeling.  I think it's worth a trip to the bookstore at this point.

Michelle, I ask my Mom every night to visit me in my dreams!  Luckily I've always had vivid dreams, so I've had a couple about her.  Last night, we were packing for a weekend at the beach, just me, my sister and Mom.  We were shoving everything into back packs so we wouldn't have a lot of luggage.  Then we boarded a train at a restaurant and off we went.  That was all there was to the dream, nothing exciting.  But it was like real life, something we would've done before CC entered our lives (except the train at the restaurant part!) and in my dream Mom was just her normal old self.

I love looking at pictures of her.  I have a wonderful one on the window sill above my kitchen sink.  It was taken about 10 years ago at Thanksgiving at my sister's house.  Dad's sitting in a chair with my sister's apron on, and Mom's sitting on his lap laughing so hard - you can practically hear her laugh just looking at the picture!  Humor and laughter has always been such a big element in our family.  So this picture always makes me smile.

The home hospice organization that cared for Mom offers counseling during the first year for their loved ones.  Today I have my first appointment.  I'm curious to see how it goes.  It certainly can't hurt, and it might just help.

~Kim
my mother lost her 16 month battle with CC 9/26/10
"Mothers have as powerful an influence over the welfare of future generations as all other earthly causes combined."

Re: Books about grief?

Kimmie,

One of the books I just read that was comforting was "the shack".  I also googled "grief" and came up with several websites.

http://www.connect.legacy.com/ was my favorite.

hugs!
Pam

My Mom lost her one year battle with CC on April 3, 2009.

"A prognosis is simply an audit of how truly precious each day is.  Live each day to the maximum, celebrate what was, and what is - Don't spend your life looking forward to what will or might be." .... words of wisdom from my beloved son on hearing of his grandmother's CC prognosis.

9 (edited by Sunshinecaregiver Thu, 04 Nov 2010 11:20:19)

Re: Books about grief?

Check with your local funeral home.  Ours provides the family a book on grief and dealing with death within about 4 weeks after the death of a loved one.  They have another special book written for young children so they can understand life and death easier.  I read the book and thought my Grandchildren would benefit from their information.

Re: Books about grief?

I also read The Shack and found it to be very comforting.

"One Day At A Time"

All of my comments and suggestions are just my opinions and are not a substitute for professional medical advice.   You should always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care providers.