Topic: SENSITIVE-Dreaming & Talking

Has anyone who has walked these steps ever had their loved one talk non stop in their sleep? Teddy is talking constantly. This morning was the first time he visited his past. He picks at his covers and jerks quite a bit. Also the halucinations which I guess are part med and part Cancer are continuous when he is sleeping. Hospice comes this morning and I am quite anxious to ask questions. I am the type that needs to know what is happening, so this morning I found a site that described the last 1 -2 weeks and it sounds much like where we are, although handled Thanksgiving very well with 12 people in the house all afternoon.  His vitals are still good and I had asked about that and was told his Cancer has not hurt his vital organs but is doing its best at the rest of his body. He just told me he is very agitated and doesn't want to take the haldol anymore. I know this is hard to communicate and I am probably rambling a bit, just need to see if I can find out where we are at.

Teddy ~In our hearts forever~ATTITUDE is EVERYTHING
Any suggestion I offer is intended as friendly advice based solely on my own experience. Please consult your doctor for professional guidance.

Re: SENSITIVE-Dreaming & Talking

Sounds just like what my mom is doing the last 2 days. Very agitated, picking at the bedding, talking alot in her sleep. When she is awake it seems like she is seeing something she does not talk just has a look on her face of peace. Hope we can get some input from someone who has been through it. Have a great day Lainy saying a prayer for you and Teddy.

Lost my mom and my best friend on Jan 4, 2011

Re: SENSITIVE-Dreaming & Talking

Lainy:
I have no advice to offer you on this, but know that Tom and I are thinking of both you and Teddy.  Our prayers are also coming your way.

Hugs to you both!

Margaret & Tom

Re: SENSITIVE-Dreaming & Talking

Codergirl, yes he also stares into space and doesn't see me unless I call his name. Nightmares, dreams, constant talking. Hospice is coming in 1/2 hour and maybe we can learn more. He thinks its from the Haldol he is taking to prevent the nightmares. This morning he dreamed he was made at me and it upset him no end, I had trouble calming him down. He has all the symtons of 1 -2 weeks to end except for the blue nails and lips. I also wonder how much I should be telling him. Good luck on your end. Prayers to you as well.

Teddy ~In our hearts forever~ATTITUDE is EVERYTHING
Any suggestion I offer is intended as friendly advice based solely on my own experience. Please consult your doctor for professional guidance.

Re: SENSITIVE-Dreaming & Talking

Picking at clothes can be one of the signs that time on earth is ending and the completed journey home is nearer.

Re: SENSITIVE-Dreaming & Talking

Lainy - I have to admit, John was very calm in the last few days, with some agitation only hours before he passed.  Our Hospice nurses were giving him something for agitation....I just can't remember now what it was.  He mostly slept and did not seem distressed.  I was grateful for that and hope you will be able to resolve this issue for everyone's sake.  Hugs - Nancy

Mother of John who lost his battle on Oct. 9, 2009 at age 30....

Re: SENSITIVE-Dreaming & Talking

Thank you Kathy. Just what I thought but he is so full of surprises. Today is the first time he dreamed of people who have passed. His vitals today are 98/54 but he has had that before. I told the Nurse nothing had discolored yet and she said perhaps it won't. My gut is telling me 1 -2 weeks. Terrible to say this but enough already....for him! I want him at Peace as this is really not having him at all.

Teddy ~In our hearts forever~ATTITUDE is EVERYTHING
Any suggestion I offer is intended as friendly advice based solely on my own experience. Please consult your doctor for professional guidance.

Re: SENSITIVE-Dreaming & Talking

Lainy,
What else do hospice say about the Haldol?  I wonder about increasing the morhpine?  I think this might work on the agitation and clothes pulling.  I must admit my grandma had this about a week before the end and shouting 'nurse' a lot.  The last few days she became more peaceful.  Let us know what hospice think.  You have both been so strong.
Kate

Re: SENSITIVE-Dreaming & Talking

Lainy,

My dad had some of the things that you mention, especially the agitation and confusion. He had a few bad bouts of agitation when he was in the hospice and they seemed to get that under control with some extra meds but I'm not sure what they were. Dad was still on the Haloperidol at this point and I think they were giving it to him through his syringe driver. He wasn't agitated all of the time and it seemed to come in bouts every so often. If there is anything else that I can do to help then you know that you only have to ask and I will help you as much as I can.

Thinking of you both so much as you go through this.

Gavin

Any advice or comments I give are based on personal experiences and knowledge and are my opinions only, they are not to be substituted for professional medical advice. Please seek professional advice from a qualified doctor or medical professional.

Re: SENSITIVE-Dreaming & Talking

Dearest Lainy,

I'm sorry I can't offer any help but I just want you to know I am thinking of both you and Teddy.

Sending lots of love and prayers your way.

Andrea

Devoted Daughter to the most wonderful Dad a girl could ask for.  Sadly lost his battle on 19.02.11, peacefully in the arms of Mom and I.  As requested by Dad "we will keep on smiling".

Re: SENSITIVE-Dreaming & Talking

Love and hugs to you and Teddy. I wish there was more I could do.

Kris

Cancer is a word, not a sentence.

36 year old patient with buckets of hope

Re: SENSITIVE-Dreaming & Talking

Hospice was here and the only thing they could try would be Ativan? It was not our regular nurse and she rather our Connie be the one to say what to do on Monday as she knows T so much better and has been the main stay. His BP was 98/54 which he has had before. He ate a pretty decent lunch and is resting now.
I told her my suspicion is perhaps 1 -2 weeks but then he has surprised us before. He has had no color changes at all, face, nails, lips and she said some don't ever get that. Wouldn't Blue Prints sometime be a nice addition so that we really knew what to expect. Thank you all for your answers and Kris you have been there for me from the beginning so you have and are helping.

Teddy ~In our hearts forever~ATTITUDE is EVERYTHING
Any suggestion I offer is intended as friendly advice based solely on my own experience. Please consult your doctor for professional guidance.

Re: SENSITIVE-Dreaming & Talking

Oh Lainy,

I too am sorry for what you two are going through right now.  You have had so many ups & downs and have always been so strong.  You have always been here for all of us.  Just know that now we are all here to help and support you any way we can.   You two are always in my thoughts and prayers.

With Lots of Love & Hugs for both of you.

Darla

"One Day At A Time"

All of my comments and suggestions are just my opinions and are not a substitute for professional medical advice.   You should always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care providers.

Re: SENSITIVE-Dreaming & Talking

Lainy

Hang in there. My mom is showing so many signs now I have no internet there. Came by home to get more clothes on my wayback. I wanted to check on you and Teddy. Hopefully all goes well and peacefully. I will check in tomorrow. Sorry me words are running together. Prayers

Lost my mom and my best friend on Jan 4, 2011

Re: SENSITIVE-Dreaming & Talking

Lainy,I wouldnt stop the haloperidol as it is unlikely that it is causing the agitation at this point.It also helps to control nausea and when you are taking big doses of morphine this is a good thing.
As people deteriorate sometimes the oral drugs dont absorb so well and work better when given by injection via a syringe driver or similar. The ativan is good for anxiety etc and works quickly but is not a long acting drug.
   When people are very ill like this patches of agitation develop and then settle sometimes of their own accord,sometimes with help but it is a difficult symptom to see in a loved one,very hard because we really want them to be comfortable.
     Hoping this resolves a bit               my best           Janet

Re: SENSITIVE-Dreaming & Talking

Many thanks Janet, that was a big help!!! Finally he has had a good hour of sleep with no dreaming! I am sure I will hear him talking to people about 3AM!

Teddy ~In our hearts forever~ATTITUDE is EVERYTHING
Any suggestion I offer is intended as friendly advice based solely on my own experience. Please consult your doctor for professional guidance.

Re: SENSITIVE-Dreaming & Talking

Hi Lainy, remember that my dad recently past away.  I told him days before he passed that he would have a new coffee shop buddy, Teddy, to solve world problems with in the near future.
  Teddy sounds a lot like where my Dad was weeks before he past away.  We did not see blue coloration until hours before he died.  He was, however, very jaundice so the coloration was hard to detect.  My dad's vitals were pretty good until a week before he died, too.  He never pulled at his bed covers but he
halluated and asked where my mom was several times.  Adivan was the aniexty medication we gave him.  It really worked well.  My dad became so weak until he went into a coma until about eight days before he died.  The congestion started as he went into the coma.  We gave him congestion medication around the clock too.  It helped to crush the aniexty and congestion medications when he could not longer swallow.  We put them in his mouth with drops of water.  I dont know if the Hospice nurse has told you, but most cancer patients will run fever closer to death.  My dad did but we were able to uncover him to keep it down.  The fever stayed low grade off and on for a couple of days.  He kept his pain patch
on and had liquid morphine around the clock.
I don't know if any of this helps, but my sister and I wanted to know when it
would be his time.  It is only natural to want to know!  Our Hospice nurse said
for us not to feel guilty about this.  It was our protective nature and not

wanting him to be in pain or be in distressed.  I can honestly say he was comfortable.  The only time he was semi alert was when he was given a bed bath.  That was hard for him but necessary for him to rest.  We just loved and reassured him that we would take excellent care of him.  He was my dad, but I can't imagine what you are going through with your husband.  You are one brave amazing lady!  Just know you are so special and you will have wonderful memories of your love for Teddy.  I will be thinking of you in the upcoming weeks.  Pam

Re: SENSITIVE-Dreaming & Talking

Many, many thanks Pam. I remember asking you to ahve your dad watch for Teddy. Yes, my gut is telling me about 2 weeks more. I am so praying that he slips away like your dad. After what you told me I am thinking maybe I can be strong enough to handle this at home. No one ever mentioned a fever, perhaps I overlooked that in the Hospice booklet. Thank you so very much, Pam.
Sometimes I think all of you on this Board are hand picked by a higher power!!!

Teddy ~In our hearts forever~ATTITUDE is EVERYTHING
Any suggestion I offer is intended as friendly advice based solely on my own experience. Please consult your doctor for professional guidance.

Re: SENSITIVE-Dreaming & Talking

Thinking and praying for you and Teddy, Lainy - I hope you both have a few hours of quiet, dreamless sleep tonight. 

Lots of love.

Jen

Re: SENSITIVE-Dreaming & Talking

Lainy - I think I have mentioned that Randy has had numerous visits with angels and he has talked to them for up to an hour and a half at one time. He hasn't talked in his sleep much lately. He has had more energy but is seriously agitated and angry. My aunt did not have blue nails or lips until the last few hours. My thoughts and prayers are with you. I think of you every day. I know you will hold Teddy close. Please tell him we are thinking of him and love him. Blessings, Susan

Re: SENSITIVE-Dreaming & Talking

Lainy, my mother did the same. They say its natural for someone to do this as they are dying. I would catch my mother gazing, I just thought of it as her looking at her new place in heaven. She also said that her dad would come to see her. Try not to question there thoughts, my mom took it as insult like we thought she was crazy. lol. its a beautiful thing.

Re: SENSITIVE-Dreaming & Talking

Lainy, I am praying for you and your family. stay strong and patient. smile

Re: SENSITIVE-Dreaming & Talking

Lainy - During my dad's last hours, he held conversations with people he knew who had gone on before him and it was the most beautiful and peaceful experience for all of us. (I know I posted before, but wanted to add this) You know that my thoughts and prayers are with you. Blessings, Susan

Re: SENSITIVE-Dreaming & Talking

Lainy,

My husband passed away nine months ago.  We were only in hospice for 27 hours.  The nurse ask my daughter and I if we had received the blue book yet, we said no and he brought us two copies.  It is a small book only about 16 pages long, but tells what to expect from months to hours before death.

As we looked through the book we could see nearly all the things that had already happened.  One of the things is pulling at their clothing or bed sheets, pulling them from side to side, even looking under them.  Also, he would reach up with his arm as to touch something, bring it back down and look into his hand and shake his head, he did this for several days.  The last day he slept mostly, until the gurgle, a noise if you hear it you will never forget it.  He gurgled for the last hours of life on earth.

My advice is to find a couselor when you can, the couselor will seem like your best friend.  Things that I can't talk about even with my daughter who was also with me at the time when Jesus called him home, I can talk to her about it. It is very difficult to talk of that moment with anyone.  My couselor has gone through alot of rough times with me in the last five months, she doesn't give me answers she guides me to help find them.  I was ready to give up and thought about ended the pain, and she talks me back to life. 

My Mom passed away last week, guess who shows up at the funeral home, you guessed my couselor, she wanted to check on me to see how I was doing.  No one knew who she was, just me, but on another day that I could have gone all to pieces, she was there.

Individual counseling is the best, I went to group for 6 weeks, it is hard to confide in a group, everyone takes grief in a different way.  I always thought I was strong, I had to be, Wayne had been disabled for 22 years, but when it came down to it, I was like a new born kitten.

Love to my Wayne for 36 years
I'm not a widow, I am a wife
We are only apart for heaven's sake
You are waiting for me at heaven's gate

Re: SENSITIVE-Dreaming & Talking

Hello MissingWayne.  I have been reading your posts and I just wish I could come right over, give you some hugs and share a cup of tea (I don't like coffee). When I first read you were going for counseling I was so happy as I knew they would help and now I am happy they have. It is going to take some time. I have been prepared and ready for this and so far I am doing good. The hardest is today, when I will talk to Hospice about taking him to their facility. That is really facing the fact he will not be here soon. He is sleeping round the clock now, not eating, and yes, he has done all those hand movements and dreaming of others who have passed. What makes this harder is that he doesn't seem to feel he is dying. He blames the medication for his sleeping and nausea.
We made a deal in the beginning that I would keep him here as long as I could and that time is ending. I am a little gal and even though he is little now I just cannot handle him physically. I also am a little old Grandma of 70 and I am getting very tired. Don't get me wrong I would do it all over again for him, it has been a very precious time.
Do you think that because your husband was handicapped that you also miss the dependency he had on you?
About the picking at the clothes I was told that is the "death roll". Teddy has been doing it for 2 weeks now. This is some little stubborn Sicilian! I tell you.
I also have the set of books from Hospice and yes, Teddy fits the description.
I am ready,not happy about it, but so far he is as peaceful as he could be and that is all I asked for.
My wish for you is to feel so much better and please keep visiting us often! We care.

Teddy ~In our hearts forever~ATTITUDE is EVERYTHING
Any suggestion I offer is intended as friendly advice based solely on my own experience. Please consult your doctor for professional guidance.