• kimmie
  • kimmie
  • Senior Member
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  • From: Maryland
  • Registered: Sun, 09 Aug 2009
  • Posts: 110

Re: SENSITIVE-Dreaming & Talking

Lainy,

I've been away from the board since before Thanksgiving.  It was a tough time for our family not having Mom here for the holiday, and I've been keeping my mind busy with work and Christmas preparation, not much internet time. 

But I wanted to share what we experienced... What you describe sounds very similar to what my mother did the two weeks or so before she died.  The confusion was first, which actually started when we were still on the family cruise.  Once we were back home and she was in her comfy hospital bed, she slept a lot that first day, then more confusion, babbling, talking coherently but not making a lot of sense, calling out "Daddy."  Later that week she was staring more, almost like asleep with her eyes open.  Agitation increased, she kept telling us to get her out of bed so she could go sit in the chair, which would've been impossible due to her weakness.  By Friday, she spent most of her time asleep, which could have partially been due to all the medication.  She died late Sunday afternoon, and we didn't see any bluish signs until an hour or two before, and even then it was just her fingernail beds.  Also that last day her hands and feet were cold.

I don't want to make anyone sad or worried, I just thought sharing our experiences may help someone reading now or down the road.

~Kim
my mother lost her 16 month battle with CC 9/26/10
"Mothers have as powerful an influence over the welfare of future generations as all other earthly causes combined."

kimmie's Website

  • Lainy
  • Lainy
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  • From: Phoenix AZ
  • Registered: Fri, 13 Jan 2006
  • Posts: 8,315

Re: SENSITIVE-Dreaming & Talking

Thank-you Kimmie. Hospice is on there way and the decision I am sure will be made to move him today. He is going to be so upset but its for the best.  I feel like today is the day he is dying!  Sorry everyone. Will try to post tomorrow or tonight!

Teddy ~In our hearts forever~ATTITUDE is EVERYTHING
Any suggestion I offer is intended as friendly advice based solely on my own experience. Please consult your doctor for professional guidance.
  • From: South Louisiana
  • Registered: Mon, 17 May 2010
  • Posts: 94

Re: SENSITIVE-Dreaming & Talking

Lainy, I am so glad to hear from you.  I never even got it when they moved Wayne to hospice.  Even before burial, I was waiting for him to sit up and just say I was kidding.  Wayne had so much fluid build up, that he never looked thin, one time they took off ll liters of fluid which was 24 lbs., another time 16 liters which was 40 lbs. 

My couselor said that our lives were so intangled with each other that you couldn't split us up.  We were married for 35 years, he had a above knee amputation in 1990 and open heart surgery in 1999.  I was his caregiver and best friend.  We didn't need anyone else we had each other and now, I have my dogs. 

It still feels like when I get home he should be there.

I had heard about hospice, but this was my first real experience.  Everyone that does this work are special people, they are God's angels.  We were only in patient for 27 hours, but they made it bariable.  My Mom had hospice that came to the nursing home, but that was only for a week. 

As my counselor they have to have a special calling, I believe from God.

God will look over you and Teddy, but if you need help don't wait so long to get couseling like I did, I was at the point of ending it all.  The couselor I use, uses a sliding scale, my income dropped 75% when God called Wayne home.

God be with you and keep you tight in his hands.

Love to my Wayne for 36 years
I'm not a widow, I am a wife
We are only apart for heaven's sake
You are waiting for me at heaven's gate
  • Registered: Thu, 16 Sep 2010
  • Posts: 77

Re: SENSITIVE-Dreaming & Talking

Thank you ladies for helping me understand what I will be seeing and trying to do in the future.  I have learned so much from this site and it is not all "education" so much is comforting knowledge of how to cope and how to do so many things.  I do not know how others handle disease without a site and online friends who know the pain and frustration you are dealing with.

Bless you Lainy and missingwayne, I know it is so hard and you are both so brave and capable.  Your thoughts, information and posts have been helpful to so many.  Thank you and all of the others who post.

  • From: Elmo Kansas
  • Registered: Mon, 19 Apr 2010
  • Posts: 37

Re: SENSITIVE-Dreaming & Talking

Dear Lainy,  I don't post often but I visit everyday. I am so sorry for you and your husband Teddy. I only hope I can be as strong and honorable as you when it is time for my Judy to go home. Thank you for being here for me to lean on and learn from.     Tommy

  • From: New Bern, North Carolina
  • Registered: Tue, 30 Sep 2008
  • Posts: 684

Re: SENSITIVE-Dreaming & Talking

Lainey,

I'm holding you and Teddy close in my heart and prayers.  Remember when you feel down, that you and Teddy discussed the move to the Hospice facility. 

You've always done what's right for Teddy and you will continue.  These coming days are the most stressful but the most precious. 

Sending love and hugs to you both.

Pam

My Mom lost her one year battle with CC on April 3, 2009.

"A prognosis is simply an audit of how truly precious each day is.  Live each day to the maximum, celebrate what was, and what is - Don't spend your life looking forward to what will or might be." .... words of wisdom from my beloved son on hearing of his grandmother's CC prognosis.