• From: South Louisiana
  • Registered: Mon, 17 May 2010
  • Posts: 94

Topic: Holidays

I lost Wayne nine months ago to cc, and my Mom 2 weeks ago from time.
I can't help it I think of Wayne just about every waking moment these days.   There is two more weeks before Christmas, I can't help of thinking of him, it seems everything I do is still surrounded with him, my thoughts,  and my emotions.  I am going to a couselor every week, if it wasn't for that I would really be crazy.   I cry more these days and am still angry that our time together was cut short, I know he is better off to be without the pain, but I am so lost without him.  To be such a happy time of the year, this year is the saddest for me.

Terry

Love to my Wayne for 36 years
I'm not a widow, I am a wife
We are only apart for heaven's sake
You are waiting for me at heaven's gate
  • Registered: Sun, 01 Aug 2010
  • Posts: 493

Re: Holidays

Terry - The loss is immeasurable! One day you have a soul mate who celebrates your achievements and helps shoulder your burdens. Then a thief (cc) comes along and robs all the wealth you had in that relationship and leaves you emotionally lost (for a time). Keep missing Wayne and your mom and know that they are watching over you from above. Sometimes I talk to my dad's picture 'cuz I miss him. I face losing my husband soon and can't imagine what life will be like - we've loved each other since 1969. God be with you, Susan

  • From: New Bern, North Carolina
  • Registered: Tue, 30 Sep 2008
  • Posts: 682

Re: Holidays

Terry,

The depth of your grief is a testament to the great love you had for Wayne and your Mom.

Grieving is so hard and there is no timetable.  No two people will grieve in the same way.  It's a process and you have to just work your way through.

The holidays make it harder.  I lost my Mom to CC in April of 2009 and I'm still blindsided by my grief at times.  I still catch myself picking up the phone to call her when I'm excited about something.  Or find myself getting teary eyed when someone passes me wearing her perfume.

You will never forget but eventually you will remember more of the good memories and the pain will subside a little.

You are doing everything right.  I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

Hugs to all of us STILL on this journey....

Pam

My Mom lost her one year battle with CC on April 3, 2009.

"A prognosis is simply an audit of how truly precious each day is.  Live each day to the maximum, celebrate what was, and what is - Don't spend your life looking forward to what will or might be." .... words of wisdom from my beloved son on hearing of his grandmother's CC prognosis.