Topic: Dear Santa,

So this year is my sons very first christmas. His first time waking up christmas morning to a stocking overflowed, his first time seeing the beautifuly lit tree overwhelmed with presents, his first time seeing the jolly red guy his uncle is dressed up as. I should be happy, I should be excited. The last 2 years I have dreaded christmas and all the trimmings. This year I have something to celebrate, someone to celebrate. So why aren't I smiling. Could it be the fact that right now I am staring at the calendar on the fridge which is more full than not? Why would this bother me? Because almost all the events are with my husbands family. Although I adore them and they are all wonderful to me, they remind me of what I have family. As most of you who will read this know, my mom, my best friend, my whole world died on October 20, 2008 leaving behind, myself, my brother and sister and my father. I thought, I guess assumed that when mom passed away our family of 5 would become a family of 4. Little did i know, we would become a family of 3 as my dad somehow lost interest somewhere along the way. How the hell do you lose interest in being a family? I'm not sure, i'll ask him the next time he speaks to me for 5 whole minutes every few months. Is this him grieving? Never speaking of the woman he spent the last 32 years of his life with? moving on within days of her passing and then getting married? Removing the clothes, the pictures, the memories of the woman he kissed goodnight every night of his life? Is this him grieving or are his true colors showing, does he really want to forget his old life and eveything in it? I cant take the heartache anymore, I just want my old life back. I am 29 years old, I know the difference, but Santa if you see this please bring my mom back to me and my family. God bless you Santa xo

Re: Dear Santa,

Oh, Sarah, it is not too late to step up and be the hero! Perhaps if you just sat down quietly and talk to dad and tell him how you feel he will let loose, which is maybe what he needs to do. You might also suggest some grief counseling.
As far as cleaning the house out, you all know of my love for Teddy, no question there but I am almost done cleaning out. I have everything arranged in the garage so that when the kids starting coming in tomorrow for the Service, Friday, they can take what ever they want. We were strong believers in passing it all down to the kids.  In fact he gave a lot of his stuff out to the kids after he got his prognosis. He looked upon it as business he needed to finish. I have a feeling your dad is suffering knowing that Christmas is around the corner. Chat and then mention a little grief counseling. Let him know you are not ready to loose both parents. Good luck and hope things change for you.


Re: Dear Santa,

I just typed a long reply to you, then Internet Explorer locked up and I lost it!  I'll try to remember what I said...


my mother lost her 16 month battle with CC 9/26/10
"Mothers have as powerful an influence over the welfare of future generations as all other earthly causes combined."