Topic: New Year's Day

Today is the first New Year's Day in 27 years without my beloved husband.
I am watching the Mummer's Parade and cleaning the kitchen, anything to keep moving. My husband was a South Philly guy and we loved watching the parade on tv.
It's still so unbelievable to me that I will live the rest of my life without him by my side. That my kids don't have their dad to turn to when they need him. 
I'm wondering if I will ever stop leaking tears.
I am moving closer each day to the first anniversary of his passing.
Only those of you who have walked this journey can understand this kind of pain.
I pray each day for healing for all who have been diagnosed and peace for all who have the role of caretaker.   
I want to say Happy New Year.
But I feel more like saying, "Dear Lord please help me and the kids get through this New Year without him".
Peace and Love to all.

Re: New Year's Day

Dear Tawanda400, I so understand having lost my dear Teddy Bear December 6th. I forced myself to go to friends for dinner last night and came home at 930PM as I didn't want to see the ball drop in Times Sq. But here I am and I am OK. Guess my life this past 3 weeks has been OK. Everything anyone asks me, I answer "I'm OK".  An OK world is not so bad as I know it will get better and I know above all that Teddy would not like to see me so sad. I keep telling myself that I have to go, do and get things done and get back to normal one day as that is what he would have wanted. The last thing he said to me was, "I love you, be strong". It was more important to him that I be strong! I can't give you words of wisdom but please know you are not alone. This holiday is almost over and then maybe we can move on again with the way our husbands would want us to be.

Teddy ~In our hearts forever~ATTITUDE is EVERYTHING
Any suggestion I offer is intended as friendly advice based solely on my own experience. Please consult your doctor for professional guidance.

Re: New Year's Day

Dear Tawanda - I also pray that God will help you get through this year. I am praying not only to get through it, but to actually find some of the joy you have lost. May your love for your husband and his memory give you strength for the day and comfort for the night. You have accomplished so much by getting up every day and putting one foot in front of the other and then you honored his memory by watching the parade. As hard as it is to survive without your love next to your side and his strength, you have done it. Take a moment and appreciate that you have made it this far without him. He would be proud of you.  May the pain grow lighter, the loss less acute, and the memories sweeter.  Blessings, Susan

Re: New Year's Day

Thank you Lainy and Susan, words of great wisdom, even though Lainy you thought you didn't have any! I've read all you've written over the many months of Teddy's illness and drawn great comfort from your posts.
I answer OK to everyone also.
And Susan, I love your last words.
Peace to you both!
Debby