Re: Sensitive: End stage

Hey, Tommy. Talk about wonderful Dads and Husbands, you are right at the top. Tommy, I believe even though you have a lot of help it is a mental tiredness you have and no one can help that. It is really important that you get your sleep at night. I am so very sorry to hear Judy is at that point. Is she in any pain and if so is it pretty much under control? How are the girls doing? You have no idea what a good dad you have been, I can read between the lines and you will see for yourself when the girls become your greatest comfort. Please let us know how Judy is doing as you go along. I think writing on this Board can eb so cathartic.   I think I told you I am originally from KCMO. Not sure how far that is from Elmo. Tommy, stay strong as that will give Judy the confidence that you will be able to do what ever is necessary with the girls. Prayers and hugs coming your way.


Re: Sensitive: End stage

Thank you all for your kind words.  Dad passed away at 2.45am this morning and it was how we wished it to be. Mom, Dad and me, peacefully all together.  Dad was painfree but fought until the end.  He did get agitated at one point, he wanted to sit up and his eyes were fixed to the corner of the room, he kept reaching out as if he was trying to get to someone.  This caused his breathing to become very rapid.  The DN decided then it would be kinder to fit a syringe driver and give him some drugs to calm him down.  They did and 2 hours later he passed away. They had expected him to pass away Thursday night but he kept hanging on, in the end enough was enough and we told him to let go, and he did, as Mom and I held him and told him we loved him. He had been talking to his Mom and told someone "I'm coming in a minute".  Mom and I felt waves of coldness wrap round our bodies during the night, it was an experience I can't explain apart from a feeling that he was being met by past loved ones.

He looked so at peace, his jaundice had faded, his skin looked wrinkle free and his smile said I love you, I'm ok.

At the moment I just feel numb, I want to organise things but as it's a Saturday we are in limbo as we can't get the death certificate until Monday.  My little one was devastated and it broke my heart to see his little face crumble but we had a good cry a good talk and we will take it minute by minute, it's too soon for day by day.  I was so proud of my Mom, she found her strength and was truly amazing.  The next hurdle is the funeral.  Once again thank you to all my cc family, you are also amazing, and one good thing to come out of this is all of you.

Best wishes


Devoted Daughter to the most wonderful Dad a girl could ask for.  Sadly lost his battle on 19.02.11, peacefully in the arms of Mom and I.  As requested by Dad "we will keep on smiling".

Re: Sensitive: End stage

Dear Andrea - you are amazing, too.

“When it is dark enough, you can see the stars." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Re: Sensitive: End stage


Julia is right.  You are an amazing person and a wonderful daughter.

"One Day At A Time"

All of my comments and suggestions are just my opinions and are not a substitute for professional medical advice.   You should always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care providers.

Re: Sensitive: End stage

Andrea, Love and peace to your family. Your dad will never be forgotten and will be with you forever.

Loving my husband from afar.

31 (edited by micsyl Sun, 20 Feb 2011 13:18:31)

Re: Sensitive: End stage

Hi Andie

I am so sorry, i have posted on the Remembrance site, but wanted to share something with you which i found comforting at the time of my dad's passing.  My dad also held on until the bitter end, we had all reassured him that it was ok to go but he just hung speaking to the hospice sister she explained to us that sometimes in a really close family with deep connections the loved one waits until the very last moment to go, because it is has hard for them to leave as it is for us to say goodbye, it is almost like when you are going away for a long time, and you are at the airport and you wait until the very last moment to board.  It helped me to understand why perhaps my dad held on...just wanted to share this with you.  I am thinking of you and your mom all the time.

with lots of love and hugs


"My dad, Tony, passed away on 4 October 2010, after a 19 month battle with CC"   - I carry you in my heart, Dad, forever.