Topic: I have a question about work.
My Wayne passed on cc on Feb. 17, 2010. I took off work the month he was in the hospital, went back to work four days later. I work for the state so I had ran out of my sick days. I notice my boss sometimes singles me out, at the end of last year, she told me that she knew I had a rough year, but I needed to do more. My mom passed away on Nov. 21, 2010 I only took off a week, because we had a holiday.
People don't understand that maybe some days aren't good for me, so I don't smile all day. I think some of my coworkers think I should be over it.
In fact I believe the longer it is the worse my emotions seem to be. I am on medication, and I'm seeing a counselor every week.
I was writing in my journal last night. I know I'm in denial, because I'm waiting for him to come, I ask God every night to send him home to me. My head knows it but my heart doesn't. Anger, I am not angry at Wayne, but I'm angry with me, I should have done something to help. I am also angry at God, for letting it happen, he has the power to say one word and he would be well, or he could come back to me. Depression I've been depressed over a year.
Somedays I think the boss singles me out to fuss at. As of yet, I haven't really broke down in front of her, but when she is out of sight I do. I think that we are a reality check, what happened to us could happen to them. When I told her I wasn't going to work on the 17th, I told her that this last year has strained my faith in God. The only thing she said, that wasn't something that you should let it affect your faith. I daily ask why this has happened to us. but I never get a answer.
My question is, can they fire you for not being happy all the time, I also have trouble being around people who are in remission of any type of cancer.
I'm not a widow, I am a wife
We are only apart for heaven's sake
You are waiting for me at heaven's gate