• kal
  • New Member
  • Offline
  • Registered: Thu, 19 Feb 2009
  • Posts: 9

Topic: Thinking about dad

It is coming up on three years this April since I lost my dad to cc.  He would have turned 60 in January and I still can't believe he isn't here.  In these few years without him I have gotten married and had a daughter.  It was so hard not having him there.  I feel as though I was robbed of something and so was he.  I know he is "always with me" but I long to see his face and to have a conversation and a huge bear hug.  I guess I go through hard times this time of year because it reminds me of the few months we had left with him after his diagnosis.  I still get so depressed thinking about all of the things he's missed.  And mostly about all of the things I know I've missed without him.  I try to be thankful for the times we did have but it gets the best of me sometimes. 

I have not been on this site in awhile and I must say that it is comforting to know that I'm not alone.  It also makes me feel good to see all of the resources and info available to everyone affected by this disease.  I am so glad to know these resources are here for other families that receive the horrific news of this diagnosis.  At the time we got the news about my dad we felt so alone.  The one glimmer of hope was this site at the time although most of it was under construction.  It is wonderful to see so many people reaching out to each other and helping one another.  Good luck to you all with whatever mountain you are climbing.

Life is a work of art and each day a potential masterpiece.
  • Lainy
  • Lainy
  • Moderator
  • Offline
  • From: Phoenix AZ
  • Registered: Fri, 13 Jan 2006
  • Posts: 8,313

Re: Thinking about dad

Dear Kal, welcome back! What kind of son would you be if Birthday time did not come with a meltdown? Sounds pretty normal and the way it just is, to me. What wonderful things have happened to you in 3 years. Marriage, a daughter  and you can keep all of that alive in your heart with pictures and stories and love of her Grandpa that you can pass down to her. Thank you for your update and I know you don't physically see him, but I do believe he is all around you.
Lots of good wishes and Blessings being sent to your wonderful family.

Teddy ~In our hearts forever~ATTITUDE is EVERYTHING
Any suggestion I offer is intended as friendly advice based solely on my own experience. Please consult your doctor for professional guidance.
  • Registered: Sun, 14 Nov 2010
  • Posts: 295

Re: Thinking about dad

Kal - We're all here with you wishing you good thoughts and happy memories.  It doesn't always get easier with time, does it?  Sometimes the longer my son is gone, the harder it is.  But you can focus your love on your little girl and know that your Dad is smiling down at you both.  Wishing you peace and strength - Nancy

Mother of John who lost his battle on Oct. 9, 2009 at age 30....
  • kal
  • New Member
  • Offline
  • Registered: Thu, 19 Feb 2009
  • Posts: 9

Re: Thinking about dad

Thank you both for your messages.  I am having a better week so far and back to celebrating his life instead of mourning.  It is harder having gotten adjusted to the "new normal" and remembering him at the same time.  I figured it would get easier over time but some days it just isn't that way.  Here's to more and more good days for us all!

Life is a work of art and each day a potential masterpiece.