• From: Connecticut
  • Registered: Thu, 18 Nov 2010
  • Posts: 68

Topic: Counseling starts next week...

Hi all,

I've been having such a hard time lately dealing with the passing of my dad. It feels like the first two weeks were my "numb time" and now its really kicking in. I can't sleep for my life, my mind is just keeping me awake, even if i take sleeping medicine, i can't get to sleep. I was actually able to sleep last night, but my dreams were so wacky, similar to how you dream when you have a high fever, so it was not restless.

I'm hoping therapy will help me try to understand my own feelings and get through this time a little easier...it will at least give me someone to talk to that i won't stress out more (I know my pain/difficulty dealing with this is making things harder for my mom and husband).

I've been to counseling before when i was younger, but for different reasons. Are there certain things I should be talking about in the first appt? Should I make a list of my biggest concerns/things that are causing me the most anxiety to try and make the most of the appt?

Thanks to all of you for letting me get my thoughts out on virtual paper tongue

I lost my Dad to CC Feb 13, 2011 at 7pm EST. I felt him take his last breath. He was 57.
I love you, Daddy.

--Kim
  • Lainy
  • Lainy
  • Moderator
  • Offline
  • From: Phoenix AZ
  • Registered: Fri, 13 Jan 2006
  • Posts: 8,199

Re: Counseling starts next week...

Kim, I am not sure how counseling goes but I would imagine you don't have to do much as the Therapist will guide and ask you. Probably after the first question you will start pouring out your feelings. Good luck and let us know how you progress.

Teddy ~In our hearts forever~ATTITUDE is EVERYTHING
Any suggestion I offer is intended as friendly advice based solely on my own experience. Please consult your doctor for professional guidance.
  • From: Connecticut
  • Registered: Thu, 18 Nov 2010
  • Posts: 68

Re: Counseling starts next week...

Thanks, Lainy. I'll definitely be talking about you all to her! You're such a good support system and i'm so thankful to have you guys smile

I lost my Dad to CC Feb 13, 2011 at 7pm EST. I felt him take his last breath. He was 57.
I love you, Daddy.

--Kim
  • From: South Louisiana
  • Registered: Mon, 17 May 2010
  • Posts: 94

Re: Counseling starts next week...

Kim, I lost my husband to cc Feb. 17, 2010.  It was the darkest day of my life, I have been going to grief counseling since June, I have found it very comforting.  I discovered that I hold everything in, I always did this when my children were small, I couldn't talk about his illnesses in front him, I didn't want him depressed and the children were to young to understand.  So I kept a wall around me and no one was let in.  I did this since 1985 the first time he was ill, up to 2-17-10.  With my counselor I feel like I can talk to her about everything, it seems like I share more of me with her every week. I told her this week that my son is sick, she asked how long I had known, she thought it was something I just found out about, but I have known for nearly a year and a half.  It was inside that wall I have built up around me.  I also keep a journal, I only started this a few months ago, I share some of the entries with her.  I believe in couseling 100%, this is the first time I've ever been, sometimes I wish I could go more often, I usually feel so much better afterward.  By the time I go for another visit I'm usually feeling low again.  Let us know how it goes.

Terry

Love to my Wayne for 36 years
I'm not a widow, I am a wife
We are only apart for heaven's sake
You are waiting for me at heaven's gate
  • Registered: Sat, 17 Apr 2010
  • Posts: 655

Re: Counseling starts next week...

Dear GracefulMeadow,

It will be 2 weeks Saturday since my Dad passed away, I too feel numb and I don't remember what sleep is.  I'm downstairs most nights till 2am then when I finally get to bed I can't seem to switch off. Like you I don't want to discuss how I feel with my Mom and Husband, I also feel I have to keep strong for my Mom, and to tell the truth I don't even know how I feel. I suppose empty is the word I could use, and lost.

Good luck with the counselling xx

Devoted Daughter to the most wonderful Dad a girl could ask for.  Sadly lost his battle on 19.02.11, peacefully in the arms of Mom and I.  As requested by Dad "we will keep on smiling".
  • From: South Louisiana
  • Registered: Mon, 17 May 2010
  • Posts: 94

Re: Counseling starts next week...

Andie,

Try counseling, it makes me feel better, you can vent your feelings, and no one ever judges you.  I think I've had it bad I lost my Dad 33 years ago, my  husband 12 months ago, and my Mom 3 months ago.  The only reason I'm at all sane is due to couseling.

Terry

Love to my Wayne for 36 years
I'm not a widow, I am a wife
We are only apart for heaven's sake
You are waiting for me at heaven's gate
  • Registered: Fri, 12 May 2006
  • Posts: 8,157

Re: Counseling starts next week...

Kim...   Please do also reach out to our Dr. Giles.  We are so fortunate to have our very own licensed psychologist on site.   His wisdom and kindness has been a steady support for us. 
All my best wishes,
Love
Marion

THIS INFORMATION IS NOT INTENDED NOR IMPLIED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR PROFESSIONAL MEDICAL ADVICE. YOU SHOULD ALWAYS SEEK THE ADVICE OF YOUR PHYSICIAN OR OTHER QUALIFIED HEALTH CARE PROVIDER
  • Registered: Sun, 01 Aug 2010
  • Posts: 493

Re: Counseling starts next week...

Dear Kim -

As a therapist, who is also grieving, I think counseling will be wonderful for you. It is one place that you can let down your feelings with someone who will help carry the load. I am actually journaling, talking to my friends and colleagues, and practicing feeling my pain (for short periods of time). I also have trouble sleeping and concentrating - and it's ALL so NORMAL. Hard, but normal.

Here's a virtual hug for you. Grief is a road you are on and I haven't ever found a short cut. Allow yourself to feel your pain, but don't let yourself stay in it.

I think Dr. Giles is also a great suggestion.

My thoughts and prayers are with you.

Blessings,

Susan

  • From: Cape Town, South Africa
  • Registered: Mon, 09 Mar 2009
  • Posts: 155

Re: Counseling starts next week...

Hi Kim

I understand fully, i found that counselling really helped me to off load, and to start the hard process of dealing with my grief, i only went for one or two sessions.  It was just in the period before Christmas - a really difficult time.

There is not a day that goes by that i don't think of my dad, but i can tell you that as time passes it does not go away but it does get easier to bear.

Thinking of you

Michelle

"My dad, Tony, passed away on 4 October 2010, after a 19 month battle with CC"   - I carry you in my heart, Dad, forever.