Dad left today

Dear Rose, your Dad is now at Peace and yes he is with the love of his life.

Your Father, through your memories
                             Will never leave you. 
You will feel his tender care from now on
         As a warm serenity in your heart.
Hoping you always feel the encouragement
         Of his love, and hold in memory
All the happy times you spent together

Rose, he will always be all around you, I am a firm believer as my posts about Teddy show. There are no words to describe the feeling of knowing our loved ones are right here. One of these days I will post my log of Teddy's visits since he passed December 6th. Perhaps those who don't believe poo, poo it but it sure has got me through the last 6 months. Take care and start to look around you, Dad is there.

We've been having quite a bit of rainy weather these past few weeks and every morning, I would watch from the sliding door in dad's bedroom as the clouds gathered in the valley and then it would shower several times.  On Friday, it was a little cloudy in the early morning but when I arrived to see dad, the sun was out and shining brightly.  After the nurse's aide came and we were talking in dad's bedroom, the aide was startled to see a wild pig in the garden  (they often wander down from the mountain but my brother said they usually don't
come out until the afternoons).  My brother ran outside to shoo the pig away but a minute later, the aide saw the same pig and two more running through the garden.  My brother went out and chased them away.  But I think they came to say "good-bye" to dad. 

That afternoon, the clouds briefly gathered and there was a very light shower and a beautiful rainbow appeared.  Hawaiians believe showers are blessings and I think that was for dad.  Then the sun came out again.

It was still sunny and bright when dad left.  The two days since have been cold and rainy again.

Hi Lainy -

I had been reading your posts about your visits from Teddy and was thinking about sharing what happened after my mom passed away.

I was extremely tired when I got home the night after mom died and I feel into a deep sleep.  At 4 a.m., I heard her call my name but it was how she did it when she was upset with me.  So, I crawled out of bed and at 4:30 a.m., I was trundling down the deserted aisles of the nearby 24-hour Safeway (the first and only time in my life).  I guess she did it to make sure I had food in the house although certainly she also knew that I was not the cook she was!

Well, after that, there was absolutely nothing and I felt a little hurt that the one time I heard from her, she had sounded so sharp. 

About six years afer mom passed, my long-term relationship with a boyfriend ended and it was a very tough time for me.  I took to going to Punchbowl to see mom every weekend and after I left her flowers, I would go up to the look-out.  From that look-out, on one side, you can see the whole city below and the other side, you can see the whole of the cemetary.  I would look at the columbarium where mom rests and I would so wish that she were here so I could talk to her.

One sunny summer day, I was walking down the broad bricked pathway from the look-out to my car when I saw a bright twinkling (immediately fairy light came to mind although this was in bright sunshine) which danced in the air.  I kept watching it as I walked down the path and this light kept twirling in the air and drifting slowly down the path.  I finally neared, reached out and caught it in my hand.  It was a square of textured, clear plastic wrap (like what might be placed on the top layer in a box of candy.)  I looked at it and said "hi, mom."
I folded it carefully and it has ridden with me since in my car console.     

I got some strange looks when I describing hearing mom call me so I didn't tell anybody about what happened at Punchbowl.  After reading about your visits with Teddy, I know mom came to see me because she knew I needed her.

I take my dog walking every morning and as I mentioned, it's been cold and rainy.  On Saturday, when I looked up, there was a big, triangle-shaped patch of clear sky with the gray rain clouds streaming past and this morning, there was a big square of clear sky with the gray clouds surrounding it.  I think mom and dad are looking down to check that we're OK.

So, Lainy -- I'm with you 100%

Rose,
I'm so sorry for your loss.  Dad passed the same day, so I hope they met up on their journey.  I believe our dear Dads are watching over us and never far away, and hope you find peace in the difficult days ahead.

Thinking of you.

Jen

Hello -

Thank you all -

We will be holding a Buddhist funeral service for Dad this Friday and the Bishop asked us to meet with him today to go over the ceremony -- neither my brother or I are Buddhists but it was very comforting to talk to him.

He explained that for 49 days, the spirit remains, essentially to make amends for any regretted actions, thoughts, etc.  A service is done shortly before or by the 49th day after someone passes so the spirit can then depart.

My sister-in-law then asked if Dad was still in the house.  Although she makes sure to close Dad's bedroom door, several times at night, the door has opened although there is no breeze blowing. 

So while we had originally not thought of holding the 49-day service, now that we understand the reason for it, we have a new perspective.  If it will help, I'm all for it.

Every day is a little journey and I learn something.  There's a long way to go but at least I can look back and see how many steps I've taken.

Rose - I am so sorry for your loss, but I have come to believe that there is another whole world around us that we cannot see and every once in awhile we get a glimpse of it through the visits or reminders of our loved ones. I am so glad that the pigs came and the twinkling and the opening in the sky - you are experiencing that world that many never see as they don't have eyes to see it. Maybe we need to lose someone very special and deeply loved to be open to what else is available to us. I look upon it as God's grace extended to us to bring us comfort and joy. Blessings, Susan

Rose - Dad was the same way near the end.  He was mostly distant the same way you described, but I loved every second that he was lucid and able to communicate, if even only to say "I love you" or "everything's good" (something we heard a million times since he was diagnosed) before going back into his other little world. 

Thinking of you.

Jen

Rose - so glad the funeral went well yesterday and you had a nice sunny day.  Hope you are doing okay today - I found the day after the funeral a bit tough, since there was nothing left to plan or take care of.  I'm thinking of you, and hope you are doing well!!

Jen

What a beautiful message.
So glad to hear you are sleeping better and allowing your wonderful memories of your dad to soothe you. Take care. Nancy