It's been over a month since Dad passed away and if I am being completely honest, there are days now that I find so much more difficult then when he first passed. Last weekend would have been Mom and Dad's 34th Anniversary... the first of many "firsts" that we will all have to face. One of the last days that Dad had any lucid moments, he picked a beautiful locket on a jewellers website as a gift for Mom, which I picked up and we gave on on the weekend. It was incredibly emotional, but wonderful for to to get something from Dad.
I had a complete breakdown (my first since he passed) this weekend - while at the theatre watching Harry Potter, of all things. There's an incredibly emotional scene with his parents, and it really caught me off guard. I was lucky to be sitting with my best friend in the world, who held my hand and cried right along with me. The next scene was a train station in a place quite like heaven. The last day before Dad become unresponsive, he said he had a train to catch and that he wasn't exactly sure where it was going, just that it was "going on", which were there exact words in the movie. I felt Dad sitting with me right then, and had to smile remembering that Dad was so worried that he couldn't afford the train because it was going somewhere so beautiful. My sweet brother just told him not to worry, the ticket was taken care of. Dad, of course, just said "oh well that's just perfect".
I'm babbling a bit, but feeling sad, and haven't updated in quite a while. I am certainly having my share of "moments" lately, but we are all managing, and doing as well as can be expected, and taking care of each other. As Lainy would say, we are trying our best to get used to our "new normal". I sure miss my Dad.
I read the posts daily and I'm thinking of you all.