• From: Calgary, Canada
  • Registered: Sun, 07 Mar 2010
  • Posts: 361

Topic: Dad has found peace...

Daddy was called home this morning at about 6:30. Mom was with him when he passed, which is how I believe he wanted it. Its a sad day and I miss him already, but I am thankful that he has finally found his peace, and pray that his "other world" is as beautiful as he described it. I am sure it will hit me over the next few days that my sweet and kind Daddy is gone, but right now I am tired and want nothing more then to sleep.

Thinking of you all - thank you for your constant love and support.

Jen

  • From: Phoenix AZ
  • Registered: Fri, 13 Jan 2006
  • Posts: 8,231

Re: Dad has found peace...

Jen, I am so very sorry for you and your family. But I am happy that Teddy will make a new friend. You just know I am thinking about you and what a wonderful daughter you are and how you made this awful journey with such strength. You have a right to be exhausted. And then when you re coup start looking for signs of your Dad because you know he will be all around you. Love and hugs!

When you lose someone you love,
Your life becomes strange,
The ground beneath you becomes fragile,
Your thoughts make your eyes unsure;
And some dead echo drags your voice down
Where words have no confidence
Your heart has grown heavy with loss.
And though this loss has wounded others too,
No one knows what has been taken from you
When the silence of absence deepens.
There are days when you wake up happy;
Again inside the fullness of life,
Until the moment breaks
And you are thrown back
Days when you have your heart back,
You are able to function well
Until in the middle of work or encounter,
Suddenly with no warning,
You are ambushed by grief.
More than you, it knows its way
And will find the right time
To pull and pull the rope of grief
Until that coiled hill of tears
Has reduced to its last drop.
Gradually, you will learn acquaintance
With the invisible form of your departed;
And when the work of grief is done,
The wound of loss will heal
And you will have learned
To wean your eyes
From that gap in the air
And be able to enter the hearth
In your soul where your loved one
Has awaited your return
All the time.

Teddy ~In our hearts forever~ATTITUDE is EVERYTHING
Any suggestion I offer is intended as friendly advice based solely on my own experience. Please consult your doctor for professional guidance.
  • Pam
  • Champion
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  • Registered: Fri, 11 Jun 2010
  • Posts: 292

Re: Dad has found peace...

Jen, I am so sorry for the loss of your kind, strong Dad.  You are terrific daughter and did an excellent job taking care that he had a beautiful passing.  I hope you and your family get some rest and strength for the upcoming days.  Thoughts and prayers are with you.

  • From: London
  • Registered: Fri, 28 Aug 2009
  • Posts: 1,058

Re: Dad has found peace...

I'm so, so sorry to hear your news, Jen.  You & your family are very much in my thoughts.

Love Julia

Thank you for the beautiful poem, Lainy.

Missing my lovely sister ...

"When it gets dark enough, you can see the stars" - Lee Salk

Lalupes's Website

  • Gavin
  • Gavin
  • Moderator
  • Offline
  • From: Scotland - Dundee
  • Registered: Tue, 23 Sep 2008
  • Posts: 4,841

Re: Dad has found peace...

Dear Jen,

I am so very sorry indeed to hear of your dads passing, please accept my sincerest condolences. You did everything possible that you could for your dad and you were always there by his side throughout all of this. My thoughts are with you and your family right now.

Hugs,

Gavin

  • From: Revelstoke BC
  • Registered: Sat, 01 Jan 2011
  • Posts: 552

Re: Dad has found peace...

Dearest Jen, So saddened to hear of your dad's passing. Send my condolences to all of your family. Your dad has left you in body but not in spirit; your beautiful relationship will be with you forever. I wish I could lessen the pain for you. We are here.  Big hugs from Tamia and I. Love Nancy.

Loving my husband from afar.
  • Registered: Sat, 17 Apr 2010
  • Posts: 656

Re: Dad has found peace...

Dear Jen,

Thinking of you and all your family at this heartbreaking time.  You all did your Dad proud and showed amazing strength and courage throughout this difficult journey.  I'm sure your Dad is looking down on you all with such love and pride.


You cannot see or touch me,
But I'm standing next to you,
Your tears can only hurt me,
Your sadness makes me blue,
Be brave and show a smiling face,
Let not your grief show through,
I love you from a different place,
Yet I'm standing next to you.

Our Dads will always be by our side Jen.

Love and hugs

Andrea xx

Devoted Daughter to the most wonderful Dad a girl could ask for.  Sadly lost his battle on 19.02.11, peacefully in the arms of Mom and I.  As requested by Dad "we will keep on smiling".
  • From: Ireland
  • Registered: Thu, 15 Oct 2009
  • Posts: 260

Re: Dad has found peace...

Jen
My condolences to you and your family at this difficult time for you all.  Look after yourself.

Gerry

  • From: Manchester,England
  • Registered: Mon, 03 Aug 2009
  • Posts: 328

Re: Dad has found peace...

Dear Jen,

Sending you my deepest sympathy on the loss of your darling Dad. Thinking of you and your family in the days and weeks ahead.

Katie

  • From: Wisconsin
  • Registered: Sun, 07 Sep 2008
  • Posts: 1,990

Re: Dad has found peace...

Jen,

I am so sorry for your loss.  Your dad is now at peace and no longer suffering.  He will always be with you in your heart and memories.  My thoughts are with you and your family at this sad time.

Darla

"One Day At A Time"
  • From: Cape Town, South Africa
  • Registered: Mon, 09 Mar 2009
  • Posts: 155

Re: Dad has found peace...

Dearest Jen

I have been away from the board for a while, I am so saddened to hear of the passing of your dad.  My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.  May your dear dad rest in peace now.

I know too well the pain of losing a beloved father - my heart is with you, Jen.

with love

Michelle

"My dad, Tony, passed away on 4 October 2010, after a 19 month battle with CC"   - I carry you in my heart, Dad, forever.
  • From: Calgary, Canada
  • Registered: Sun, 07 Mar 2010
  • Posts: 361

Re: Dad has found peace...

Dad's funeral was yesterday... it was perfect.  A full house, myself and my siblings giving the eulogy with a few other speakers, Dad's priest giving a great service and adding personal (and funny) stories of Dad.  We all made it through, and today it has hit me... my sweet and wonderful Daddy is gone.  I'm so sad sad  I knew it would eventually happen, but we were so busy right after he passed, and we've been telling people for so long that we're all okay so it seemed like we were.  I know I still am, but I miss him so much.  I'm also really sick, and have been since the day he passed away. Feeling so crummy and not being able to sleep at all is probably adding to my emotional state a bit, but I feel like today is the first time I've really realized that he's actually gone.  I do know he's in a better place, and at peace, which does help. 
I am thinking of you all.

Jen

  • From: Phoenix AZ
  • Registered: Fri, 13 Jan 2006
  • Posts: 8,231

Re: Dad has found peace...

Hi Jen. You are so right that life just kept you too busy to think. This is bittersweetly normal now. It does ease up  except for those moments that will come over you now and then. I think not feeling up to par doesn't help either as I have been under the weather for 4 months (just started feeling better) and during that time I was really getting down and crying a lot but now that I am feeling better the 'old' me is returning. Not crying as much. How is your Mom doing?  I think about you often even though I know you will be fine. HUGS

Teddy ~In our hearts forever~ATTITUDE is EVERYTHING
Any suggestion I offer is intended as friendly advice based solely on my own experience. Please consult your doctor for professional guidance.
  • Registered: Sat, 17 Apr 2010
  • Posts: 656

Re: Dad has found peace...

Dear Jen,

I'm so glad the funeral went well, I have been thinking of you.

What you are feeling is totally normal, I too was kept busy with different arrangements and then it hit me like a tonne of bricks.  It still does now and it's been 4 months.  Only today I was in tears, it's little things that will set me off, such as seeing the "Dads Garden" sign that I brought him for Fathers day years ago or for a split second waking up and thinking he's still here.

Mom sends her love to you and your Mom, she always asks about the people on the site.  Please take care of yourself Jen and remember we are all here for you.

Love and hugs

Andrea x

Devoted Daughter to the most wonderful Dad a girl could ask for.  Sadly lost his battle on 19.02.11, peacefully in the arms of Mom and I.  As requested by Dad "we will keep on smiling".
  • From: Revelstoke BC
  • Registered: Sat, 01 Jan 2011
  • Posts: 552

Re: Dad has found peace...

Dear Jen,  I am glad the service went so well.  I understand about being hit hard now. As you prepare for a funeral, you are still doing something for your loved one and when it's over you feel lost and alone. Hold close to your mom and siblings, they will understand the emptiness. The old adage "time heals" is actually true. It takes time, and your sadness will bring happy memories and they will comfort you and cheer you. Your dad is right there with you, helping you along as he always has.  Hugs, Nancy

Loving my husband from afar.
  • Registered: Tue, 14 Jun 2011
  • Posts: 42

Re: Dad has found peace...

Dear Jen -

Thank you for sharing -- like you, we've been absorbed in preparing for Dad's funeral this Friday --

Yesterday we sat down with our aunt, uncle and cousin to go over the eulogy our cousin will be giving at the funeral -- although this uncle is actually my dad's brother-in-law, he always respected my father and as he talked, my brother and I learned some things about my dad - it helped us to hear him reminisce and I know it helped my uncle too

As each day passes, it gets closer to dad's service and I am dreading the finality of it -- I know it's supposed to give one closure but I don't think so --it's just one more step in the process

17 Reply by JenniferS (edited by JenniferS Mon, 08 Aug 2011 15:32:00)

  • From: Calgary, Canada
  • Registered: Sun, 07 Mar 2010
  • Posts: 361

Re: Dad has found peace...

It's been over a month since Dad passed away and if I am being completely honest, there are days now that I find so much more difficult then when he first passed.  Last weekend would have been Mom and Dad's 34th Anniversary... the first of many "firsts" that we will all have to face.  One of the last days that Dad had any lucid moments, he picked a beautiful locket on a jewellers website as a gift for Mom, which I picked up and we gave on on the weekend.  It was incredibly emotional, but wonderful for to to get something from Dad. 

I had a complete breakdown (my first since he passed) this weekend - while at the theatre watching Harry Potter, of all things.  There's an incredibly emotional scene with his parents, and it really caught me off guard.  I was lucky to be sitting with my best friend in the world, who held my hand and cried right along with me.  The next scene was a train station in a place quite like heaven.  The last day before Dad become unresponsive, he said he had a train to catch and that he wasn't exactly sure where it was going, just that it was "going on", which were there exact words in the movie.  I felt Dad sitting with me right then, and had to smile remembering that Dad was so worried that he couldn't afford the train because it was going somewhere so beautiful.  My sweet brother just told him not to worry, the ticket was taken care of.  Dad, of course, just said "oh well that's just perfect". 

I'm babbling a bit, but feeling sad, and haven't updated in quite a while.  I am certainly having my share of "moments" lately, but we are all managing, and doing as well as can be expected, and taking care of each other.  As Lainy would say, we are trying our best to get used to our "new normal".  I sure miss my Dad.

I read the posts daily and I'm thinking of you all. 

Jen

  • From: Phoenix AZ
  • Registered: Fri, 13 Jan 2006
  • Posts: 8,231

Re: Dad has found peace...

Hi Jen, I just caught the Jen train! I love your stories! You are doing fine, yes you are, my goodness what kind of person would you be if you didn't have these moments. It has been 8 months now for me and I still have them, although not as bad. Teddy is not coming around as much and I find that is ok, I just miss him terribly. I am not lonely just missing him.
I have a feeling your dad was at the Movie and more around you than you even know. I got a cute story sent to me today. Very dear friends of ours from Milwaukee (3 of them) are coming out for Thanksgiving, their 16th year with us.
Yesterday  the 3 of them went to the Wisc. State Fair and saw a Shriner's booth (Teddy was a Shriner). Of course they were collecting money for the Shrine Hospitals and Jeanne said, "Did any of you know Teddy Sardina?". One man said yes, I knew Teddy. With that Jeanne made a donation and walked away with a happy smile as she felt it was Teddy at the booth saying Hello.
How beautiful that Dad picked out a locket for your Mom. That had to be such a precious moment. I found that it helps to keep telling stories about Teddy as it keeps a part of him alive. So tell your stories over and over and it helps heal a little as well. Sending big daddy hugs to you!

Teddy ~In our hearts forever~ATTITUDE is EVERYTHING
Any suggestion I offer is intended as friendly advice based solely on my own experience. Please consult your doctor for professional guidance.
  • Registered: Tue, 14 Jun 2011
  • Posts: 42

Re: Dad has found peace...

Hi Jen -

Just stopped by to check in - your dad and mine passed at about the same time and I didn't expect it but also found it more difficult after dad's one month anniversary -

Finally gathered myself up and went to the columbarium last week to see my mom and dad - had kept thinking I should go but just couldn't bear to do it - but when I finally went, it wasn't that bad - I know they're happy to be back together again - it's just hard on us that are left behind