Topic: Not so good news

I just got my initial results from the MRI today. My bile duct has enlarged from my last MRI in May. This could either be from a stone or a tumor. Well, lets not put our heads in the sand-it is most likely tumor.
My lovely doctor is sending the images to several  people for second and third opinions.  I am so scared and frustrated. He is going away in the middle of next week for a week and he doesnt think he will get the results by then, so I will have to wait until the end of November for a final assessment and possibly a plan of action.

I am devastated. They said that the sooner it comes back the more aggressive the form of the cancer. I only had it removed in January. I am not even sure about what it means. I thought they removed my bile ducts in the surgery, how can one be enlarged (I didnt think to ask that at the doctor) I am angry they would not give me chemo when I begged for it. I think the most difficult thing for me is that if the result does come back as cc again, I have lost my chance of having children. I know in the scheme of things, that is really a small problem, but it is the one that really weighs on my heart.

My husband and I just snuggled on the bed together-he is very good at letting me cry. I was told not to make plans to go home for thanksgiving and Christmas as my doctor doesnt want me gone that long. I called my parents all in an uproar of emotions. All I want to do is go home. My dad called me back and said come home for two weeks, I will not know the results anyway and I might as well wait it out in the US. So, if I can I will head to South Carolina for a bit.

Sorry it is so long, I am a mess.

Cancer is a word, not a sentence.

36 year old patient with buckets of hope

Re: Not so good news

Oh, I'm so sorry to hear your bad news!! Yes, go home where you can be surrounded by loving family and friends - do whatever will give you some peace and comfort- you deserve it!

I know you're upset, and understandably so, but don't give up hope - you don't know for sure what the problem is, you're young and strong and the odds are in your favor --you may even have those children yet! All my hope and love is going your way. It's good you have a loving husband and family to support you in this scary time - let them take care of you for a while.

Best wishes,
Joyce

PS - As far as the bile ducts, I don't know which ones you had removed, but there are bile ducts located outside the liver and also inside the liver, so you may want to ask which type of duct is affected.

Re: Not so good news

Kris, 
I'm so sorry.  It's so easy to feel hopeless but Joyce is absolutely right.  Don't give up hope and don't give up the fight.    There are so many variables we never know where our paths will lead.
Is it possible while you are in the US to get a second opinion here?  Could be well worth the hassel of getting copies of the radiology report, imaging, Dr notes and anything else you can get your hands on to bring with you.  I realize this is especially difficult for you with the language barriers and different systems and rules then we have here.  Pick a good cancer center here with CC experience, call them now (or perhaps your folks could do that) and send the reports, imaging and whatever you can get ASAP so they have time to look at it and possibly agree to see you.
Have you see the reports on work being done with radio waves reported here and in the press?  It sounds like at least Bills wife was able to get insurance coverage for this.  Stem cell work is starting to show promise in Germany.  Immunotherapy in many forms is getting more attention and research.  We all have to hang on to be here for the break through we all hope for.

A few years ago a scan showed increased mass at the head of the small bile duct that was sewn directly to my intestine when I had the Klatskins surgery.  This scared and disheartened me.  (that's an understatement)   The doctors eventually decided it was scar tissue, not tumor, from the surgery and the intervening years have born out this assessment.

Courage!!

-Peter

Re: Not so good news

I follow your posts and many others but I am never quite sure what to say when bad news is reported.  I pray for the best for you and your family. 

Our experience has been that this disease is such a rollercoaster ride and that we often get more encouraging news after a round of bad news.  I hope that is the case with you also.

Re: Not so good news

Hi Kris...  Just want ya to know I'm here with everyone else , wishing and praying for only the best of outcomes.  You grab that bull by the horns and if that isn't enough kick it square in the ????? posterior.  Stay as positive as possible girl.  Your a fighter, I can feel it in your post. With support from Hans and your family and your other family here on this site, you can reach the impossible.
God Bless,
Jeff G.

Take it to the Limit,One More Time! (Eagles)

Re: Not so good news

Hey Kris, waiting for results is nerve wracking!!  Please, please don't get ahead of yourself like I always do and think the worst.  You're in my prayers daily.  You've been such a great source of love and encouragement for me during Charlie's illness.  I hope you get to come home to SC.  Do you like James Taylor?  You're probably too young.  His song, Carolina On My Mind will make you homesick, so don't listen to it unless you get to go.  I'm in NC, we're practically sisters.  Don't give up, you have strength you don't even know about yet. 

Carol

Re: Not so good news

Thanks everyone. Needless to say, the last few days have been stressful and very uncertain. I will be heading home in the morning and will hit atlanta by 4:00 pm and then on to sunny SC. I have taken the advice we always give and will be getting a second opinion from Dr. Sanoff at UNC Chapel Hill. I have read many positive things about her on this board so off I go. We will be meeting sometime the week after Thanksgiving. Hopefully my charts and scans will have arrived by then!!! Everything came up so suddenly on Friday and then it was the weekend, that I never managed to get copies of everything so they will need to be mailed.

I am very happy over this development. I DO VERY much trust my Swedish doctor in charge of my case, it is just my oncologist that I feel is less than steller. Plus a differnt view from a different medical system would be wonderful.

Thanks again everybody!!!

Yes, Carol,  I do listen to James Taylor's Carolina On My Mind. It does make me a little homesick, but in a good way...as does Jimmy Buffett's Coast of Carolina. I cannot believe that I will be home in a day. Just the thought of being able to watch tv and eavesdrop on conversations around me brings a huge sm ile to my face which I am sure is good for the health!!!!

Kris

Cancer is a word, not a sentence.

36 year old patient with buckets of hope

Re: Not so good news

Kris, I'm so excited and happy for you!!  Dr. Sanoff is really good and she'll take all the time you need to talk and answer questions. 

In my mind Im goin to carolina
Cant you see the sunshine
Cant you just feel the moonshine
Maybe just like a friend of mine
It hit me from behind
Yes Im goin to carolina in my mind

Please let us know how you're doing.  Always in my prayers.

Carol

Re: Not so good news

Keeping in the spirit of James Taylor........

Shower the people you love with love
Show them the way that you feel.
Things are going to turn out better
if you only will.

-Peter

Re: Not so good news

I love it Peter!  I've got his new CD on my Christmas wish list.

Carol

Re: Not so good news

Kris,

I am so sorry I have not responded to your post. At first, I just simply didn

Today is a new day. Congratulations, you are already a survivor!