Topic: He's given up...
Dear Friends, I've been here before and need help again. Can't sleep, up and on the board. My husband, Charlie, age 52 with cc diagnosed end of May this year. He's had 14 wks of Gemzar chemo, chemoembolization almost 3 weeks ago and supposed to have left lobectomy 1st wk of Nov. He's my best friend and sweetheart. A sense of humor has always been a mainstay with us. He seems to have given up now. All the the nice things people say like treasure your time together, etc. don't seem to apply anymore. He's retreated into a quiet little shell that he won't let anyone into. He won't go to a counselor or therapist. He's sick of doctors and pills. He's still aggravated with me about mentioning his irritability to one of his doctors. Also, change of seasons and cold weather coming on is very rough on him, not his favorite time of year. Ever since the c'embolization, he's never bounced back. He's sleeping more, lost 10 lbs., quiet, no appetite. He is achy and his knees are killing him. I don't know if that procedure was good for him or not. Of course, he needs to gain weight, walk, get ready for his major surgery in Nov., but he doesn't seem to care or want to or be able to. When I ask him about what's going on with him, whether it's depression or something else going on that we need to talk to his oncologist about, he snaps, "I'm fine and dandy." He is sick of me asking questions and wants to be left alone. He doesn't want to go to the movies, the Y or anywhere.
He's been the love of my life for 25 years and now I'm at a loss. He's shut everyone out. I feel so lost and alone now with no communication.
Have others experienced similar situations? At the time we should be pulling together and fighting, we're not. I'm devastated. I try to stay strong at home. My time alone when I go out and run errands is when I break down. I literally cry between stops and go ahead and get what I need to do done. Instead of working together, we're pulling apart and it's breaking my heart!
I know there is so much suffering of others on here who are going through this nightmare. My heart goes out to all and I wish the best for all of us.